I attended church on one fine Sunday morning. I had been invited to that particular church by a friend. It was just after I left my own church. Yes, I left my own church for the simple reason that a newly married man was making passes at me. He sent me innumerable unanswered messages for a period of two months (plus). I didn’t want to stop attending the church. I don’t run and I don’t quit! However, I was advised to, for fear that if the cat was finally let out of the bag, I would be found guilty. After all, I am single, and a woman. I would naturally be found to be desperate and guilty… so I left. I left my own church and attended a friend’s church on this fine Sunday morning.
In church, a woman was to preach and I was excited about it. It was ‘Women’s Week’ and I am a feminist. On approaching the podium, she took her time to list the changes women had to make to be better wives, better women. God wanted that for us, she said.
- We must look good always.
- We must ensure our husbands look good always.
- We must cook for our husbands.
- We must respect our husbands.
- We must not deny our husbands ‘in bed’.
- We must look after the home.
- We must look after the children.
- We must respect and regard our in-laws.
- We must be diligent at work.
- We must appreciate that men are the way they are and learn to deal with them.
- We must
- We must…
She then said to the men,
- Be patient with your wives.
- Love them.
- Care for them.
She did not elaborate on the kind of love and care husbands ought to show their wives. She assumed that they understood already. She overestimated men’s understanding of care and love while carefully explaining it to women.
As a result, I got angry. I looked forward to question time if there was going to be one so that I could express my distaste but there wasn’t one so I went home in anger and stayed there! Why was I angry? I was reminded of the immensity of pressure on women even by women. I ask women, do we hate each other? Our to-do list is so long yet we only plead with men to ‘be nice’. If they listen to our plea, oh joy! If not, we MUST deal with it. They say it’s their nature…
What nature? Men, it has to stop! Your so called nature is not getting you, us, and the family circle very far! Some of you are good however this goes out to those of you who aren’t… you know who you are!
You too can look good always!
You can cook!
You can take no for an answer while we are in bed without necessarily going outside to get some!
You can look after the home!
You can look after the children!
You can respect and regard your in-laws!
You can remain diligent at work while doing all of these… and
You can appreciate women and learn to deal with us too!
It’s a 50-50 thing! It really must be for it to work …for it to be enjoyable! Let’s break the mould… together! God will be pleased.
Image – gettyimages
Writer – Éjire