There will come a time in many women’s lives when they will start yearning for a dose of ‘happily ever after’. Looking for love in the right places,with the right man and with the right attitude and determination is a way to ensure you get a sustainable happily ever after, when you start looking for your last stop man you should ask yourself this question; Are you date-able?
Here are few things you need to know.
1. Plan :- The man of your dream won’t appear in your doorway. You’ve got to go out and find him. It is wise to think of what you want and how to make it work before you start. For instance you should date the kind of man you’d like to marry. Don’t waste your time on a man who is not interested in marriage soon.
2. Be open:- Make yourself date-able and available. Then be assertive on what you want. Be confident, be happy and being flirtatious won’t hurt either but don’t look too predatory. It might be a turn off. Though it might actually attract a man but he probably won’t be serious with you.
3. Be approachable:- Let him notice you, make eye contact,you can even pass a comment about his dressing or what have you, men love praises. You’ve got to let him know you want to talk to him. People don’t know how you feel unless you tell them.
4. Don’t be too hasty:- Don’t allow your determination to find the right person becloud your sense of judgment against his faults or what might not be it. Ask yourself inwardly things that only you can justify and accept. Do I really like him? Can I cope with him? Is he really going to make me happy?. Believe me,you need a guy that you are totally comfortable with.
5. Spark is essential but does not happen every time:-If a man asks you out and you don’t like him at first. Give him a chance and think about it. It’s not every time you feel a butterfly in your stomach at first sight. You may feel the spark later. However if you cant feel it afterward. Don’t force it. It is not him.
6. Just where do we meet our match? The usual notion is online,malls,bars,parties. But our chances are pretty slim. Join dance classes,book club,game club, just anything that involves meeting people with similar interests.In time you will meet someone friendly. However if friendship develops into something more meaningful. That’s awesome.
7. After you find him. What happen next? How do you turn it into a long lasting relationship that does not have an expiry date?How do you know when the relationship is ripe for marriage or simply put, how do you go about defining when is time,you both want to settle down?. These is where you both have to sit down and discuss. What’s the purpose of the relationship?
8. Don’t appear too needy or blab too much about your ex,job,family or money matter though men love honesty and open minded women. But a confident women does it for them. It’s not about how much sexy or attractive you look. Is about how you handle yourself when you are together. Every little details counts.
9. If after a year together and you guys are not talking about future,hopes and ambitions,then something is wrong. Do you see any sign of commitment at all? Though sometime,some men don’t reveal this,you cant even be able to see him envisioning you as the ideal wife.. They just go with the flow,they might never talk about marriage or you probably feel is not his thing. But that could be wrong. Talk to him and tell him what you want. This is not about forcing him into admittance but sharing your feelings. This might just be the gear he needed. If he feel the same way,you would know. Or isn’t that better than investing in a relationship that long without a purpose?
Writer – Taiwo Orimadegun is a writer, photographer, graphic artist and a hustler.
Image – Sugarluxe