Relationships

Are You Really Date-able???

   

There will come a time in many women’s lives when they will start  yearning for a dose of  ‘happily ever after’. Looking for love in the right places,with the right man and with the right attitude and determination is a way to ensure you get a sustainable happily ever after, when you start looking for your last stop man you should ask yourself this question; Are you date-able?

Here are few things you need to know.

1. Plan :- The man of your dream won’t appear in your doorway. You’ve got to go out and find him.  It is wise to think of what you want and how to make it work before you start.  For instance you should date the kind of man you’d like to marry. Don’t waste your time on a man who is not interested in marriage soon.

2. Be open:- Make yourself date-able and available. Then be assertive on what you want. Be confident, be happy and being flirtatious won’t hurt either but don’t look too predatory. It might be a turn off. Though it might actually attract a man but he probably won’t be serious with you.

3. Be approachable:- Let him notice you, make eye contact,you can even pass a comment about his dressing or what have you, men love praises. You’ve got to let him know you want to talk to him. People don’t know how you feel unless you tell them.

4. Don’t be too hasty:- Don’t allow your determination to find the right person becloud your sense of judgment against his faults or what might not be it. Ask yourself inwardly things that only you can justify and accept. Do I really like him? Can I cope with him? Is he really going to make me happy?. Believe me,you need a guy that you are totally comfortable with.

5. Spark is essential but does not happen every time:-If a man asks you out and you don’t like him at first. Give him a chance and think about it. It’s not every time you feel a butterfly in your stomach at first sight. You may feel the spark later. However if you cant feel it afterward. Don’t force it. It is not him.

6. Just where do we meet our match? The usual notion is online,malls,bars,parties. But our chances are pretty slim. Join dance classes,book club,game club, just anything that involves meeting people with similar interests.In time you will meet someone friendly. However if friendship develops into something more meaningful. That’s awesome.

7. After you find him. What happen next? How do you turn it into a long lasting relationship that does not have an expiry date?How do you know when the relationship is ripe for marriage or simply put, how do you go about defining when is time,you both want to settle down?. These is where you both have to sit down and discuss. What’s the purpose of the relationship?

8. Don’t appear too needy or blab too much about your ex,job,family or money matter though men love honesty and open minded women. But a confident women does it for them. It’s not about how much sexy or attractive you look. Is about how you handle yourself when you are together. Every little details counts.

9. If after a year together and you guys are not talking about future,hopes and ambitions,then something is wrong. Do you see any sign of commitment at all? Though sometime,some men don’t reveal this,you cant even be able to see him envisioning you as the ideal wife.. They just go with the flow,they might never talk about marriage or you probably feel is not his thing. But that could be wrong. Talk to him and tell him what you want. This is not about forcing him into admittance but sharing your feelings. This might just be the gear he needed. If he feel the same way,you would know. Or isn’t that better than investing in a relationship that long without a purpose?

Writer – Taiwo Orimadegun is a writer, photographer, graphic artist and a hustler.

Image – Sugarluxe


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0 Comments

  1. dbabyjust4u@yahoo.com'

    Adenike Williams

    May 3, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    Very nicely said.
    I love all the points.
    Every successful relationship depends largely on our outward approach to it.
    I love the way the writer put No1. The man of your dream wont appear on your doorway…Nicely said. Great article

  2. tolu_cutie85@yahoo.com'

    abosede

    May 4, 2010 at 3:06 am

    nice and sincere .kudos to taiwo

  3. moi.downtheaisle@gmail.com'

    dta

    May 4, 2010 at 4:20 am

    I can’t agree less,especially with point 8…don’t appear too needy!!!!I see this played out every single day.
    well said!

  4. larrahromire@gmail.com'

    Lara

    May 5, 2010 at 5:08 am

    Lovely article…The man if your dreams will not appear at your doorway..food for thought

  5. beautyay@yahoo.com'

    Beauty Fabulous

    May 5, 2010 at 6:42 am

    I like this article a lot. It means even for the single sisters out there , there is work to be done. Do yours and God will definitely take care of the rest.
    This is the whole truth…lol
    God bless you Taiwo for sharing.

  6. nwanchukwusandra@yahoo.com'

    Sandra Nwachukwu

    May 5, 2010 at 6:50 am

    Yes ooo…i like the rule no. 5…spark is essential but it doesn’t happen every time…
    So very true.
    This is not mills n booms, so ladies should stop trying to feel butterflies in their stomach…lol
    Get Work Taiwo.

  7. Pingback: Tweets that mention Are You Really Date-able??? | Femme Lounge -- Topsy.com

  8. akay112@yahoo.com'

    akunna

    May 5, 2010 at 9:21 am

    I quite agree with the writer…single sistas it means we all have a lot of work to do..Also you charisma and they way you carry our self also matters a lot….

  9. verah_lee@yahoo.com'

    Vera

    May 5, 2010 at 10:05 am

    Nice one…
    Iv got a question though…
    How would you know if you have forced yourself to feel for someone, is that possible?
    I know the normal answer we would all advice is that being honest with yourself is the ‘pointer’ but I do know of a lady who has started saying maybe she isn’t cut out for any relationship!!! Bcos she starts trying to evaluate if the relationship is what she needs or wants.

  10. tayomotty@yahoo.com'

    Tayo

    May 5, 2010 at 10:16 am

    I like the article so much.Point 8 and 9 really moved me.Taiwo,welldone.

  11. salamzy@yahoo.com'

    titilola

    May 5, 2010 at 11:07 am

    i rly agree wiv all d points, i cant leave any point out.
    i have been on a long break n i think i just got geared up.
    Great work girl, nicely written.

  12. bolanle_oso@yahoo.com'

    bibi

    May 5, 2010 at 11:55 am

    Nice article Taiwo, but i also have couple of questions:

    a) point 8, yu said dnt appear too needy, i av seen a guy who got intimated by d lady’s independence, and even told her, wat say yu to dat?

    b) a lady had a man she discussed future plans for their relationship with and then she noticed he began to withdraw, even dou he made promoises from the beginning and she worked towards loving him as she wasnt in love with him intially? what do u say to that too?

    c) now the lady is withdrawn and resents men cos it her 2nd and most painful heartbreak. what advice wld yu giv her?

  13. myne@mynewhitman.com'

    Myne Whitman

    May 5, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    Very valid points all, especially the last two, a woman has to have her relationship defined.

  14. nadine.roberts@live.co.uk'

    Tolani

    May 5, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Hmnnn, will try this. Though av got some more tips to being date able……. dont know if am allowed to post them. Mnwhile, u got m y thumbs up Taiwo.

  15. fflaky2002@yahoo.com'

    folakemi

    May 5, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    you have spoken well my sister.i love the article

  16. octospice@yahoo.com'

    Kayode

    May 5, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Fine article no doubt. Underscores my current post on Facebook that ladies should stop waiting for sparks that might turn into fire and eventually burn them as a result of some childish and unrealistic fantasies instead of them to seize the moment, take a leap of faith and allow TRUE-LOVE to take its course!

  17. folahanfagbule@yahoo.com'

    Fola

    May 5, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    I’m sorry, but I don’t agree. Its not any woman’s job to “go out and find” a man. Quite frankly, the thought of a woman being out there on the look-out for a guy to snag is quite scary from a man’s perspective. This is why you can’t have a simple conversation (let alone a few dates) with so many women without being asked if you are ready for marriage. I don’t agree o…

  18. folahanfagbule@yahoo.com'

    Fola

    May 5, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    I’m sorry, but I don’t agree with some of the points. Its not any woman’s job to “go out and find” a man. Quite frankly, the thought of a woman being out there on the look-out for a guy to snag is quite scary from a man’s perspective. This is why you can’t have a simple conversation (let alone a few dates) with so many women without being asked if you are ready for marriage. I don’t agree with that one o…

  19. octospice@yahoo.com'

    Kayode

    May 5, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Fola, i disagree with you. Gone are the days when “the thought of a woman being out there on the look-out for a guy to snag is quite scary from a man’s perspective.” We guys actually feel flattered when a woman walks up to us to have a chat. Besides, it shows how confident she is. I, for one, would treat such a woman with so much respect and adoration because not every lady has the courage to do that.

  20. folahanfagbule@yahoo.com'

    Fola

    May 5, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    @Kayode. Speak for yourself bruv 😉

  21. golda_01@yahoo.com'

    miss tee

    May 6, 2010 at 3:38 am

    this is really nice…dont really like being flirtatious…but it woks for some people.Nice work Taiwo

  22. intosem@gmail.com'

    Innocent Makir

    May 6, 2010 at 4:01 am

    Quite an interesting write up.I can’t agree with you less. Kudos Taiwo…..

  23. lordsmike33@yahoo.com'

    lords mike

    May 6, 2010 at 5:47 am

    what a great writer , kudos t

  24. mabelaworh@yahoo.com'

    Mabel

    May 6, 2010 at 5:48 am

    Nice write up………weldone Taiwo. Would say you should strike a balance, a lady should not be flirtatious, it’s not neccessary

  25. orimadegun@gmail.com'

    Taiwo Orimadegun

    May 6, 2010 at 7:13 am

    Thank you all for your kind comments wonderful people. Please note: This is just a guidelines, not a rules.

    @Bibi..
    Point1..Yes..Men do see that as being too independent. But that to me if for egoistical men..Now men want to meet you doing something for yourself. Not waiting for them.
    Point2..Well that happens too..Men do make promises and fail. Only God can help us with that. But one thing I’m sure is if the guy is yours. Nothing will ever change it.
    Point3..My advice for her is to move on. That relationship is never meant to be. Heartbreak do happens but is not the end of the world. Their is someone out there for her. She should give herself some time off and try again.Good luck

  26. omohemi@yahoo.com'

    Omohemi Benson

    May 6, 2010 at 7:39 am

    hear! hear naija girls!
    please stop fronting and be real.
    nice write up,
    please keep it coming.

  27. lizzyjoshua@hotmail.com'

    Lizzy Josh

    May 6, 2010 at 8:28 am

    Wow..Wow..Wow
    I’m in love with this writer.
    All the points are well written.
    She totally kill it. Thumbs Up Taiwo.
    Thanks for publishing this FemmeLounge

  28. Spicykulu@yahoo.co.uk'

    Kemisola

    May 6, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Kudos2u taiwo for a beautiful write up.talking about point six,some guys could be so difficult…..they’ll be in a relationship with,still have other ladies they re dating&will still keep promising u marriage!im in this situation right now&praying2 God2 help me cos im so confused!

  29. uk_evy@yahoo.com'

    evelala

    May 7, 2010 at 10:11 am

    hmmmm…nice guidelines…had to share with my single sista!…i particularly like the line ”The man if your dreams will not appear at your doorway”

  30. dessuc83@yahoo.co.uk'

    Tomi

    May 8, 2010 at 3:30 pm

    all points good but doesnt av 2 wrk 4 everybody same way.

  31. wendyfade@yahoo.com'

    yewande

    May 10, 2010 at 4:48 am

    lovely write up.well said nd stated

  32. busidoya25@yahoo.com'

    KOLAWOLE OLUWABUSOLA

    May 20, 2010 at 11:58 am

    Nice but hope we ladies will keep our heads straight. Tell me what u love and i will tell u what you are.

  33. emilym56@gmail.com'

    Emily

    May 31, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    hmmmm…nice

  34. kiirushiro@gmail.com'

    Sheeze

    July 13, 2010 at 8:36 am

    Very much on point.. I need all my galfrens to read this..:)

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