As a single woman, I appreciate certain qualities in men. I have a clear picture of the kind of man I want to be with. It would be a plus if he looks like Mr. Taye Diggs but more importantly, he must be godly, honest, focused (on the good stuff), hardworking, have great sense of humour (I enjoy a good laugh any day), respectful, down to earth, etc. etc. I noticed however that although men say they also want these qualities that I desire, they are most interested in our looks. Men are very physical and what they see goes a long way. For instance, I see an intelligent person but he sees luscious lips, then I see a hardworking person while he sees big boobs, and I see a man with a great personality and he sees ‘a figure to die for’!
The scary thing is, some men don’t just see what they like, they want to touch it… deeply. Now, this is where I draw the line. I draw the line even though everything thing around me says I shouldn’t – even T.V. commercials preach SEX–Y! I say single women must put SEX–Y on hold but unfortunately, many don’t because they want to ‘please the guy’. They are fooled into thinking that ‘IT’ would keep him around… ‘As long as I please him, he’ll stay’… big mistake! This is hardly ever applicable.
Many single women cook, clean, and do every other so called ‘wifely duty’ to please their boyfriends… and of course, do not hold off on SEX-Y. When this happens the man has EVERYTHING already… for free without having to say the BIG I DO. No wonder he backs out of the relationship because there is nothing more to look forward to. All has already been said and done. Nothing excites him anymore.
Funny, when a woman brings SEX-Y into a relationship, she is happy to sustain it with that one man forever and ever however, the minute the man experiences SEX-Y with this one woman, before he is done, he is already exploring the possibilities of being SEX-Y with another woman… MEN!
Single woman, minimise (or should I say cut off) the cooking, the cleaning, the SEX–Y, till you both say the BIG I DO. Aside from its spiritual connotations, you might be spending FOREVER with this man and there should be A LOT to look forward to. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a strict interpretation… I know relationships that have been ruled by SEX–Y from Day 1 and now, they are married, with kids (and a dog 🙂 and living happily ever after. However, I bet it’s even more exciting if you make him wait for IT, make him long for IT and when he finally gets IT, he’ll cherish IT.
A friend once told me that she must ‘test the goods before buying’. This makes me laugh even now. ‘Test the goods’? Whatever that means?
We must exercise self control, self restraint, self respect, self worth, and self confidence. We must love ourselves more. If he loves you, SEX–Y or not, he’ll stick around.
Writer – Ejire
Photo Credit: Michael Rowe