Real Women Real Issues

Help! I Hate The Girl In The Mirror.


I have incredibly supportive parents, I went to a good school, I have nice friends. My life is by no means flawless, in scheme of things I am very lucky. But ever since I was in elementary school I have been obsessed with my weight. I was “the fat girl”… I played the part well.

I was the fat funny girl. everything i said was a joke, and usually at my own expense. I hated that about myself and i still do. I hate most things about myself. It’s like there are two people inside my head. There is the logical me, the me that looks at myself in the mirror and says, “You are ok, you may not be a prom queen, but you are ok.” this side of me never wins. It is the illogical side of me that always wins the battle. the side that says over and over ” look at yourself, you are disgusting. you are fat, and short, and frizzy, ect.”

No matter how many people try to reassure me that i am average size, and that i am pretty, i never believe them. I am the fat girl. no matter how much weight i lose, or how many diets i go on… i am “The fat girl”

Everytime i pass anything reflective, i look at myself. and everytime i look at myself… i cringe. i hate the girl in the mirror. i am obsessed with my appearance, and it disgusts me… i make people uncomfortable by being so self-obsessed, and constantly putting myself down. A year ago i dealt with some self mutilation issues, and i believe it all stems from this distorted self image thing. it’s just so hard to see this person day after day looking back at me. i stopped now though, my mom says it was a phase.

I need help, i don’t know how to change how i view myself… how do i quiet the illogical voice and listen to the logical voice? how do i stop being so obsessed? how do i stop hating myself so much?

Writer – Marjorie as shared on Experience Project

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    Suzanne Brume

    November 2, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    First of all, Marjorie, it takes incredible courage to put yourself out there like this, courage most people don’t have. So whatever you think of yourself, I already see a strong woman.
    Second, I can’t tell you how to feel, but I can tell you one thing I think you should do. Whenever you stop and stare at the mirror, rather than focus on what YOU see as negative, focus on the positive. Say one good thing to yourself everyday even if you have to repeat it over and over. How we feel is all about our minds and words can definitely change our mindset, whether those words come from us or from someone else.
    Thirdly, I know I’ve written a long essay here 🙂 so please email me if you need to talk some more ( Hang in there!



    November 4, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    Girl, from the next time you look in a mirror, you have to tell yourself you are beautiful…..EVERYTIME.

    My mum used to tell me that I vocally admired myself too much. lol. She would shout, “Mirrorrr o, Nne leave this mirror alone!”

    It was not because I saw the best features ever. It was for more self-confidence I wanted to keep reminding myself i was fabulously made.

    Do the same sweetie 🙂


    Toks Aruoture

    November 13, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    It may help to have a serious conversation with yourself and redefine the meaning of beauty. Too often the emphasis on beauty is placed on the external. I have no idea how old you are Marjorie but as you get older you’ll hopefully start to place more emphasis on developing the real you. I’m not talking about increasing the use of make-up rather I’m referring to emotional and spiritual growth. Our bodies are a shell that house the real you. It makes sense to look after you than focus on the shell, doesn’t it? By all means look after your self, perfumes and creams and make-up but please take care of the real you. Trust me I would rather fly in a banged up airplane that has a sound engine than the reverse! I don’t think you need to be trying to convince yourself that you’re not fat. So what if you are? The scriptures say in all your getting, get wisdom. Wisdom is actually to be desired more than looks. Which would you rather have, an overweight body with unbelievable joy and satisfaction, or a skinny behind dealing with turmoil on the inside? I hope as time goes by you’ll realise you are unique and beautiful and inside of you lies certain gifts and talents that no one else has!



    February 7, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    @ nneka, nice 1. my dear, you are beautiful just the way you are. our God is a God of variety n that is why he created you the way you are. you can watch your weight and all but always tel the inner voice to shut up cuz you are beautiful.


    dami o

    April 28, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    your beauty will come out when you learn to love yourself regardless of how you look like. Once you accept yourself whole hearty, you will begin to see your real beauty stay bless



    April 26, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    Pls stop listening to ur Senses.and start listening to the world of God.the bible say’s u are fearfully and wonderfully postive in ur words.u meant not be seeing the effect of those words now.but as time goes on u will see changes.God bless u.

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