Everyday Living

Dear Miss Touchy-Feelings


It’s been three days now since it happened, and tonight I sit here by myself at our dining table. I watch him from afar, eating his dinner in front of the television. I look down on mine, pick up my spoon. My hand begins to shake, almost spilling the chili. I drop the spoon, look at him. He doesn’t know. His chest rises and falls, matching the sinusoidal rhythm of the sounds of his laughter. It’s that TV show again. The one that makes him bend over in unstoppable laughter.

“Can you believe this guy?”
“What guy?” I ask. There’s no emotion in my voice. Inside, I’m writhing in suppressed fury.
“Samuel Gillinger,” he says. “This guy’s just hilarious, babe.”

I nod my head nonchalantly. Who cares? I don’t care about Gillinger. I’ve never cared. What I’m furious about is that the man who cares about Gillinger doesn’t care about me. Can’t he see that I’m on the dining table to be away from him? Can’t he see that I don’t care about what he’s watching? Doesn’t he know that all I can think of is what he said to me three days ago and how he hasn’t apologized yet? How could he say those words? It’s not too late to apologize. I’m here waiting with my spoon dipped in hot chilli soup. I’m seriously offended. Three days and forever.

* * * * *

The phrase “I’m offended” is all too familiar. Many times, we sweat the small stuff. We want to get offended at the slightest chance. It stimulates the attorney inside us, just dying to speak and lay out the court case. We want the jury to agree with us, to see the case from the eyes of an innocent victim.

People who know how to shrug offenses off their shoulders are blessed. It might be hard, but it’s something we all need to learn how to practice. If someone said or did something to hurt you, it doesn’t necessarily mean he or she stopped loving you.

Don’t be quick to receive an offense from your loved ones (or anybody for that matter). You might have been sincerely offended, but don’t let the offense make a home in your body. Don’t keep a journal of wrong-doings or mathematical imputations of accusations. There’s no need. Let it go as soon as it comes. You’ll go a long way in loving when you don’t get offended easily.


Jennifer Erere Abayowa is a growing author and established blogger. She’s been writing on her blog, “Light-A-Lamp” under the pen name “Jaycee” since September 2006 and has gained over 37,000 visitors from 146 Countries around the world. Her website is www.lightherlamp.com. Her inspirational writings have attracted such awards as Most Inspiring blogger (2009), Best Religion Blog (2009 & 2010), and Best Personal Development Blog (2010)-Nigerian Blog Awards.

[Image by Dezzon Flickr]

Click to comment


  1. dieko_raji@yahoo.com'


    January 31, 2011 at 11:18 am

    i totally agree…….9ice write up..thnx 4 d piece.

  2. bolajuwon2002@yahoo.com'


    February 7, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    why don’t you just let him know you are angry and need an apology. maybe he doesn’t even know he did something wrong.

  3. cathyidiong@yahoo.com'


    February 8, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    i dn’t wait for u to apologize, i tell straight up when u’ve wronged me and when u don’t apologize then u’re in for my fire. and i hate it when i brood and the other person seems to be having fun.

  4. palpitations@rocketmail.com'

    Dr Mo

    February 9, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    Thanx 4 this piece, it relly priceless.honestly I’m guilty I must admit, but….I guess I will work on it

  5. jummieluv4ever@yahoo.com'


    November 28, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    really an interesting writetop,it is good to say ur mind in a polite manner when the person is in a good mood rather than keeping offences

  6. eby4real50@yahoo.co.uk'

    Sandra Odimegwu

    February 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    i am totally guilty of this, so thanks for drawing my attention to this. this does not encourage ppl to go on hurting others because such other would let it go but focuses on ppl that are hurt to move on from sucg feelings. great one.

  7. eby4real50@yahoo.co.uk'

    Sandra Odimegwu

    February 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    I am totally guilty of this, so thanks for drawing my attention to this. This does not encourage ppl to go on hurting others because such other would let it go but focuses on encouraging ppl that are hurt to move on from such feelings. Great one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Woman.NG creates, aggregates and curates inspiring, informative, and entertaining content for women, across multiple platforms. We are the first and the most robust online media with a focus on Nigerian women. We have published thousands of articles and posts on our website and a lot more across other platforms and reached millions of people.

For Adverts & Enquiries:

Email: info@woman.ng

Copyright © 2015 Woman.NG. Designed by Soft Runner

To Top