Real Women Real Issues

Help! I Am Caught Between My Dad & My Husband.


We are excited to bring back our popular Real Women, Real Issues Feature! Every WEDNESDAY we will publish a post from a reader sharing with us about issues that have affected their lives and that they seek solutions to.

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This week a young women share with us her confusion. She wants to honor her father by retaining his surname after marriage but her husband will not hear of it.



I have been married for close to two years now but i still use my father’s surname.

During the wedding preparation, my father sent a text message to me telling me how he will love me to retain his name after my marriage, he suggested how i can combine my husband”s name with his own and even gave examples of people that have done such.
My husband will not hear of it!  he said he has intentionally not imposed it on me for two years  because he wants to see when i will go ahead and change my surname to his without being forced.

I am the last in the family of six.  I have four sisters and one brother.
I am caught between my dad and my husband.

Click to comment




    February 16, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    My dear,may I ask, did your father make the same proposition to your other married sistas? If no, then why is he asking it of you? Your brother should be allowed to bear the family name. Or maybe you also like the sound of a compound name. huh??



    February 16, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    well your husband is your new daddy now, so tell your old daddy his work is done



    February 16, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    what do you want to do ? is your husband okay with it? i think you should settle it with your hubby first. if he is not okay with the idea its best you go with what he wants, hes your husband 😉



    February 16, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    After God, ur husband comes first. Ur husband’s wish must be paramount in ur decision making. Politely tel daddy dat it wont work unless he wants u to return to be single.Am sure he doesnt want dat either.



    February 16, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    After God, ur husband comes first. Ur husband’s wish must be paramount in ur decision making. Politely tel daddy dat it wont work unless he wants u to return to being single.Am sure he doesnt want dat either.



    February 16, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    I don’t see what the problem is. Just use a double-barrel name, and give your husband some eyelashes 😀

    It’s very common, so the dude should just chill abeg



    February 17, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    Since your Husband will not hear of it then don’t do it. Look for a way to explain things to your father without straining his relationship with your huband.



    February 17, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    Your husband has waited patiently for you a long while without force, so I think it’s time to let the name go. Explain to your Dad, you are joined with your husband now but that doesn’t make you less his daughter.



    February 17, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    and the two shall become one. you go with what your hussy wants dear.



    February 17, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    I assume that you and your husband must have talked about this before you got married. What was the agreement then?

    So far, you’ve said what your husband and your father want. The key question though is: what do you want to do? You are the one that has to use the name after all. I think when you answer this question, you will know which name to go with. If you really can’t choose between the names,you could try merging both – make your father’s name your middle surname and add your husband’s at the end. Or you could choose a different name entirely. It’s up to you.



    May 20, 2011 at 2:07 am

    can i ask? did ur mum retain her maiden name after she married your dad? how selfish people can be

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