Real Women Real Issues

Frenemies: Enemies In Friends Clothing!


Imagine this scenario…you live in the same house with someone you think you have a good relationship with…at least to an extent. Although she’s older…you reckon she is close enough to call you to order if need be and if she steps on your toes you really don’t have to hide the fact that she hurt you from her.

Then comes a day you had a slight and I mean very slight argument with her, you decided to go out for a dose of fresh air to clear your head and ….you were on your way out anyways…so you opened the door to depart…
But then…you changed your mind…well just because you can…She heard the door close and probably assumed you had gone out…then she gets on the phone to whoever to start yada yadaing about you…like she really pours out the venom and throws a curse or two your way in the process…and you’re there…listening….but she has no idea!!! I laugh…
You allow her to run her mouth to the very last drop…then you go to her, smile and say…hey, you good?…no worries, will sort that issue out next week…and you stroll out…Yes she’s gobsmacked and you’re in shock…

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That was exactly what happened to me over the weekend…you really think you know people…but the honest truth is you don’t…only God can reveal the enemy within…
I was in shock for a while ‘cos I found it difficult to believe that people can be so two faced it is unreal…why do we do such…I honestly don’t get it…
Well I confronted her when I got back…I told her I can’t believe she harboured such pain and anger in her heart towards me whilst I thought we were cool…she immediately started apologising profusely before I even got midway and said I should ignore all she said ‘cos she said it out of anger…well she also said she wasn’t talking to anyone…she was talking to herself…lol…last I checked, pigs fly!!!

Anyways I’m thankful…that the enemy within was revealed…we learn everyday…no it hasn’t put me off trusting people…it has just made me learn to be more careful with information I give people about me…no I won’t clam up…I’m still an extrovert…integrity is still key and honesty the best policy…I’ve just learnt to trust my instinct more…through the Holy spirit of ‘cos
now I know what the deal is…envy is a very bad thing…like my mentor always says…Don’t Kill your Brother…Kill Envy!


Photo Credit – Tooga

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    October 12, 2010 at 7:49 am

    Funny this same kinda ish just happened to me, someone i thought had my back for life has been talking smack about me to everyone but me. Funny thing is she’s still pretending she’s my friends…I dunno if I should confront her cos I’m just at a pont in my life where so much shit (forgive my language) has happened…I’m just tryna keep positive energy around me. So imma just ignore her.



      October 12, 2010 at 5:28 pm

      by the way i love your blog tee, kip it up



    October 12, 2010 at 9:22 am

    first to comment!!!! yay



    October 12, 2010 at 11:32 am

    It’s understandable how you feel and not the best to have close friends backbiting.

    Sometimes people shy away from confrontations and what they could have dealt with they bottle up inside and find it easier to tell somebody else.

    The fact that she tried to deny it and did apologise is a good thing. It’s best to discuss this at length and it might be a good idea to let her know how you feel. You’re extroverted and that should be easy but perhaps she’s the opposite and can’t deal with issues the same way.

    Dialogue does wonders.



      October 13, 2010 at 3:01 pm

      True talk this.Communication is an art not many are good at. This does not excuse what she did but it helps one understand and adjust. Nice write up.



    October 12, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    stuffs like this happen everyday, sometimes we are the victim, dishing out our friends to other people because of a tiff not realising how much it would hurt them when they find out ….i guess trying to amend our mistakes pretty much sets us back on track 😀



    October 12, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    i love this , over time in my life , i just realised i had no true friends, i was at first bitter and hurt over this , considering the fact i have been selfless , but no longer am wise now , God is my friend and i love it that way


    Unyime-Ivy King

    October 12, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Life’s like that, girl. It hurts greatly when you find out that someone you thought you could count on, has feet made out of clay, but life happens. At the same time, i like your attitude-do not give up on people despite this unfortunate incident because, it will be like refusing to sleep because someone died in their sleep!

    However, in your relationships, aloud your heart to lead, instead of your head, when it comes to sharing deeply, because some people just aren’t built to handle that depth of revelation, hence, they will goof. May the good Lord save us all from unfriendly friends.


    Unyime-Ivy King

    October 12, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    ‘Allow” i meant to type.


    bolaji oguntimehin

    October 12, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    It always happens to me, i have learnt to keep friends away.



    October 12, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    God help me to still be friends with someone after revelation o…i dont think i can trust her anymore



    October 13, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    hmn, i wish dis was imagined than experienced.



    October 14, 2010 at 8:27 am

    @No Limit: I love the fact that the experience has not made you retire into yourself. You’re still giving “trust” a second chance….that’s the lesson i have learnt from this.

    Thanks for sharing.



    October 19, 2010 at 11:44 am

    really u cn kill d envy in u by ds u wont av negativ/devlish thought toward friends,neigbours or relativs,moreso nevr reveal secrets 2 anybdy bcs u dont knw thier mind.



    October 19, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    Very nice piece



    November 19, 2012 at 7:43 am

    i understand u , ve been thru worst situations wit frds….honestly u shldnt ve confronted her… learnt it so hard…wen u confront,dey dnt admit sometimes…u ll just be wise,keep ur distance nd keep giving dem d fake smile…its more lik friendship is a game dis days

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