Fashion & Style

The Secret Life of a Fashionista!


Beauty, Confidence, Attraction and Approval, were few of the factors that motivated my decisions of what to wear or not to wear, I considered other people’s opinion and perception important when it comes to what I wear and how I look. I wanted to be seen as someone that is trendy and fashion savvy.

I once tried going the skimpy route as a teenager, for the love of seeing heads turn when I pass by, then I also did the pink lipstick for a signature look, sometimes I still do super high heels for an extra dose of confidence, and I often go for dark colors to hide a few pounds around my waistline.

The trendy outcome of my careful and conscious selections would always earn me compliments from other people, I loved the compliments that came with being fashionable but despised the ache of keeping it all together, I wished I had chosen comfort ahead all the other motivating factors. But like they say, being fashionable comes with sacrifice; I had to learn how to smile in pains, I would do anything for the perfect chic look.

So I would tie Gele, though it felt like a bucket full of water on my head, caused my scalp to itch and slowed me down from having fun at parties.

I would wear a svelte and sexy dress though it’s tight and restrictive, so super-figure-hugging-tight that you couldn’t visit the lavatory in it!

And for a complete chic look, I would fix acrylic nails, but no one would see me when I nursed my hurting fingers after scrubbing the bathtub, doing the dishes and washing clothes.

I would also let loose my 14″ Sensational Pro-10 Fresh Wave like Brandy, although unlike her, I live in a temperate region, and I do not have the luxury of being in a 24 hour air-conditioned apartment when the weather feels like its dripping hell.

For an elegant look, I always chose a super high heel. Yet, I carried flat slippers all around in my handbag; waiting for people to take their eyes away from me so I could yank off the shoes and slip into my comfy slippers.

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It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat race of being the latest, hottest, and trendiest, forgetting that fashion is not only about how I look but also what is comfortable. Why should I have to be uncomfortable in whatever I wear? It’s like torture!

If fashion really comes with sacrifice, then such sacrifice is: For whom? To what end?  And at what cost?

I saw clips of “Secret Lives of Moms” on Oprah recently. She had a group of women who boldly broke their silence about motherhood, spilling the beans about not only the good side, but the bad and ugly sides of motherhood – the sides no one talked about for fear of being judged.

I wish we could have something similar, but this time it won’t be about mothers, it should be called “Secret Lives of Fashionistas – A Sisterhood of Fashionable Women”. Where there will be no holds barred, and women can reveal the exhausting, confusing, infuriating side of being fashionable without fear of being tagged ’fashion laid backs’ or ‘fashion challenged’. I am sure we will uncover a can of worms beneath the pretty faces and hip looks.

I have decided that when it comes to how I look, I will be more focused on defining my own style, what suits me and gives expression to who I am , trying to keep it all tight and high like the fashion world sometimes depicts it, takes me away from my comfort zones. That doesn’t mean that I won’t put care into my appearance, of course I  will always  dress appropriately and stylishly, I won’t wear a flip flop to office on a Monday morning in the name of comfort, and I  also won’t wear a high heel shoe to hang out with friends on a Sunday evening for fashion sakes!

To look nice, I have to be comfortable and not tugging at my clothes and feeling all weird cause my outfit is uncomfortable as hell. If it’s not comfortable, it affects my countenance, and puts me in an unproductive mood, then how can I enjoy the moment?

Comfort shouldn’t have to take a back seat to fashion; in fact it should be one of the words that describe fashion, because you can definitely be stylish and comfortable. We don’t have to be stuck in the Victorian Times; we now live in the Michellean era, when we can dress for the occasion and yet be comfortable in our own style. That is what I now aim for, the stylish look that is effortless, and someday I will get there. Yes, someday.

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Contributions are opinions of the writers and not necessarily the opinions of FL.

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    November 16, 2009 at 6:50 am

    i completely agree with u and this article is the bomb, every women need to read this to know that fashion means comfortability……….


    Olajumoke Opemuti

    November 16, 2009 at 7:04 am

    I believe it’s high time we address the issue of this fashionita’s really getting out of hand, we have the shoes that are about 12 inches and people reall walk in those things.I beleive people don’t realy have what it takes to be stylish and so they just copy what they see others wearing..and our friends are the culprits making us look as if we came from the stone age and making us look stupid.LAdies, let’s have a mind of our own and just be ourselves for once…..



    November 16, 2009 at 10:32 am

    preach on sister!!! i believe its about time someone speaks out what a lot of people have been thinking. we say it everyday yet we still get on those ladders, walk and pretend to be comfortable. we need to be confident in ourselves and start being comfortable in who we are and start setting our own individual trends instead of letting the style network tell us what to wear. oh and at this point i want to shout out to our tailors what they do with our traditional fabrics today is nothing less than artistic please keep it up ..but don’t go overboard!!



    November 16, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    Really nice, i must say. This piece just explains my situation @. My friends always complained i dont wear d Xtra heels or d tight fitting clothings. I was tagged old school and all that but guess wat they also joined the league confessing it was comfy yet fun….i tell u all sistaz there’s nothing as good as being beautiful even on a comfortable look. Lets spread the word!!!!!



    November 17, 2009 at 8:19 am

    love this piece and d whole femme lounge concept. keep it up. U can imagine a 6.2 ft lady wt a 12″ shoe. its really not comfortable esp without a car with the good roads we have.


    Beauty Faboyode

    November 24, 2009 at 11:10 am

    Wow…hope some of my friends will read reply this. Truly lovely. Well done.



    November 25, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    THE truth is really bitter, according to a singer “photocopy ko easy…” most woman dont consider the side effects of their fashion sense, i magine a housewife going for school runs from the comfortability of her home in a 12″ shoes all in the name of fashion



    November 30, 2009 at 11:28 am

    profound. thumbs up femme lounge.good home truths and a breath of fresh air in all ds congestion caused by fake fashionistas



    January 5, 2010 at 11:06 am

    Yes,tell them…tanks for leting d ladies knw d fact,dt fashion is nt d mean thing but comfortability. hw comfort r u wen evr u dressd up?



    April 13, 2010 at 5:51 am

    this is a great piece and i think every nigerian woman should read this. i believe stle is a personal thing not an ill-wear it-because-everyone-is-wearing-it kind of thing. well said.



    October 25, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    very true….i’m more confident when i am comfortable….dats wit my low heels….lol though my friends say my steps are better on high heels.



    March 15, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    i totally agree, its just not worth the discomfort…. finding ur own style gives u not only comfort but confidence….

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