If somebody had told me three months or even two months ago that my mum will die before the end of this year I would have laughed and said it was impossible. I never believe my mum can die so soon at 58yrs, it was an unthinkable thought, even right now it is still like a dream. Sometimes, when I dream and see my mum dead in the dream, I will just pray casually and won’t even think about it again.
I grew up knowing my mum has this very strong capable woman. My three older sister and I lived with my mum after she and my dad separated right from when I was barely 3yrs old. She was a mother that loved her children, she placed her children needs above her own, she had opportunity of making her life better but because of her children she let go of many opportunities.
Death was not one my major prayer points, even when people are praying against death, I pray, but not so fervently, because I just had this belief that nobody can die young in my family , especially my mum, she was this strong Christian, to the, extent that she usually dream when something bad is about to happen.
So about 6 months ago when she started complaining of stomach pain, we thought it was her usual complains, she was going to the hospital, but still she kept on complaining of pains, till late August when it became worst, even then we thought it was Cholecystitis, it wasn’t a death sentence, it can be operated , I work in an hospital so I know it was not this big major surgery. But in late September the story changed, we discovered it was Cancer of the pancreas, even then we prayed like never before, even when she stopped talking, and she was having dialyses I never believed she won’t come out of it, even when a doctor told me we should accept it if the worst happen . Until the 11th of October when the call came and said come to the hospital, then I knew the worst has happened.
Since then, my life has changed totally, I never knew I could go through something like this and still remain strong and still have faith in God. Through it all we never question God or asked why. Death has become a reality to me.
The pain can never go away and it is an irreplaceable lost but our only consolation is that she died in Christ.