Intelligence Turns Me On… I Must Be Sapiosexual!


By Yemisi Jebutu

Gracefully, the sleek ride, a jet black 2011 Porsche Cayenne, pulled neatly into an empty parking bay…. he stepped out. Towering 6.4 feet tall with frame that could have given Usain Bolt run for his money…. he drew nigh. I watched him through my dark sunglasses as he made his way to the terrace lounge bar. Quickly I said my classic prayer, “oh let his brain surpass his frame!”  He found me in no time and we exchanged warm pleasantries. “Damn, he smells good”, I thought.

We ordered our preferences and quickly settled into some form of casual conversation. Not so long after, the dreaded nightmare began. With every utterance he made, my heart sank, the fire quelled. In no time I realized he’s also been afflicted with what I call the FBNS (Fine Boy No Substance) syndrome. Trying hard not to give up so soon like with previous dates, I said to myself, “Girl, change the topic. Maybe that would bring out the kind of intelligence you are desperately hoping to experience”. I was wrong!

I find it disrespectful when people on a date wouldn’t stop checking their phones or pinging! Funny but that was exactly what I felt like doing. I resisted the urge and could only pray I’d be saved by the bell. Before I could finish the prayers, my phone rang, yay! A quick glance at my phone screen revealed the name of a stalker. Right! Should I let this ring out or use it as my bail ticket? I settled for the latter and excused myself from his presence. On returning to the table, I was ready to deliver my classic “I gotta go” speech.  *Evil grin*. Date ended abruptly…sweet relief!

Seriously, what is the matter with me? I just blew yet another dude away. I mean… he’s got the looks, the swag, the deep baritone voice that would send sweet shivers down a woman’s spine, he’s even got the Benjamins. Sadly, none of these could make me look beyond his shallow mind. Without mincing words, my tolerance level for daftness is at a record low. How could a man so fine be eluded of an incisive mind? More so, why can’t I overlook this deficiency and for the sake of companionship – settle? Ain’t no spring chicken and it’s been eons since my last relationship. Having grown a tough skin for the incessant complaints from the committee of friends and family, settling, rather, compromising is no option.

Then, there it was, a word I never knew existed yet perfectly described my insatiable condition. I learned it was invented by Wolfieboy of LiveJournal (Darren Stalder) in 1998. It is a concatenated word of latin origin. Sapio, a latin root word from sapiens which means wise or intelligent and sexualis, as it pertains to sexual preferences.

Sapiosexual – Turned on by intelligence.

Alas! It was relieving to know I’m perfectly normal. Comforted in the knowledge that there are many a people like me out there.

I am sapiosexual, an unapologetic one at that!

Are you?

Yemisi Jebutu is a Freelance writer, blogger & business management professional. Visit her website – http://nubianwaters.wordpress.com. She tweets – @nubianwaters

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  1. onepageafrica@gmail.com'

    debby 'baro

    January 3, 2013 at 12:58 am

    I’ m not really comfortable with these listed qualities in one man. You need to watch it.

  2. amarachiobiego@gmail.com'


    January 17, 2016 at 5:29 am

    I have exactly same experience. Only with women. I hate to sound arrogant, but most of the women I converse with don’t have anything to give me upstairs (and the men too!), so I spend more time with my books, and the few intellectual sparring partners I can find and (this is a real lifesaver) work!!!! Lol. I can relate to what you feel. I’ve never really dated someone that satisfied me intellectually. The day I find that one, my search closes down!

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