You could live 100 lifetimes with somebody and never be just like them. There will always be differences between you; differences of opinion or preference, or even just differences of perspective. It’s what makes relationships both wonderfully exciting and completely frustrating. It’s also what makes compatibility so important. There will always be differences between you and whoever you end up with. But if you choose somebody who’s compatible with you in many ways, the chances of those differences getting in the way of your relationship are minimized.
While there are countless areas in which a couple may or may not be compatible, below you’ll find the five main areas of relationship compatibility.
Spiritual Compatibility. In most cases, the whole point behind having a romantic relationship with somebody is to work towards building a life together. And most people have a fairly clear idea of how that life should be… and how religion or spirituality should fit into it. If somebody you’re dating looks at religion in a completely different way from you, it can sometimes be difficult to move forward and make the big decisions in your relationship. In fact, spirituality is such a big compatibility issue that hundreds of internet dating sites are dedicated to just about every religion out there.
Social Compatibility. When you first start dating somebody, the fact that you like to go out while he or she prefers to stay in can seem like an insignificant difference of opinion. But as a relationship progresses, different ways of dealing with social situations or looking at your social life can turn into big arguments. Couples who have similar feelings about when to go out and when to stay in tend to have a big advantage over couples who are always at odds.
Emotional Compatibility. We all have very different ways of seeing and reacting to the world around us. One person might be changeable and volatile in their emotions, while the other is steady and even-keeled. Fortunately, emotional compatibility doesn’t always mean that both people in a relationship should be equally volatile or equally steady. Sometimes people with quite different emotional instincts can do a great job of balancing each other out.
Intellectual Compatibility. Intellectual compatibility is closely tied up with several things that have a huge effect on the success of a relationship: respect, perspective, and long-term companionship. If you and somebody you’re dating are not on an intellectual par, it may do damage to your relationship in the long run. At the beginning, the physical and emotional stuff tends to push aside any intellectual concerns. But intellectual compatibility is important for a relationship’s long-term success, and for your own long-term contentment. After all, if your relationship is successful, there will come a time when each of you has heard almost everything the other has to say. If you have nothing to talk about at the beginning of the relationship, where will it be in a few years’ time?
Physical Compatibility. Just because this one is at the bottom of the list doesn’t mean it’s not one of the most important! We all know that feeling physically attracted to somebody we’re dating in important for getting the relationship off of the ground at all. But it’s also important for the health of the relationship in the long run. Sure, established relationships tend to be less physical than new ones. But sex is an important part of emotional closeness, and without attraction it can be difficult to have a healthy romantic relationship.
Most of us have dated enough to realize that the chance of finding that perfectly compatible mate is slim to none. But with the modern dating tools we have at our fingertips, such as internet dating sites, profiles, and internet dating compatibility tools, finding somebody whose heart, mind, and perspective matches yours is a heck of a lot easier than it used to be. And if you choose a compatible partner, your chances of success in the long run are that much higher.