Real Women Real Issues

Am I Too Close For Comfort?



‘Never be too close, never be too distant’ is a saying I have held on to for a long time in my adult life, but in spite of how close this school of thought has been to me , I still have not succeeded in drawing a line between the word ‘too close’ and ‘too distant’ in my relationships with people.

When I get close, I get accused of ‘meddling’ and when I try to mind my business as many have advised; I get crucified for being cold and heartless. Where exactly is the boundary between ‘close and distant’ because if there is, I desperately want to know. How does one know when to back out of other people’s affairs?

Over a year ago, I took up a job in an organization, one of the vows I made was to mind my business no matter what happens, I didn’t want to get too close to people beyond our work acquaintanceship, but here I am now minding other people’s businesses except mine and making it my duty to notice every little detail of my colleagues’ lives.

I can’t in my life ignore the tear streaked face of the front desk officer as I walk through to my desk every morning,

I find it hard to divorce myself from my unwavering habit of dishing out counsel to my colleague, whenever he goes on his usual mood swings.

My eyes can’t help running to and fro the office looking for an ‘unhappy single female ‘to pair with my weary bachelor friend.

My embarrassing display of exuberance when it’s time for a colleague’s birthday is one thing of the things I really hate about this disease!

Many times, my friends have subtly dropped hints to check this flaw of ‘over excitement’ in me, but sadly they have been unsuccessful in their different attempts.

From office to home to church, every day, every minute I uninhibitedly want to be involved in the lives of my friends, siblings, to-be boyfriends, never-be boyfriends and even my haters (people that beef me unnecessarily).

In the case of never-be boyfriends, after turning down their proposals in different ways and at different times, I eventually become more than a girlfriend to them.  Though I am not their girlfriend but I become their closest confidant , they see in me a voice that soothes during crisis, a shoulder to cry on when girlfriends disobey ,  a efficient financial analyst when forex and stocks crash , and a female buddy they can  talk with without being crucified as a bad boy .

Now I just got accused by one of my male friends that I led him on , when this missile landed on my desk , I must confess I was very unprepared for it , I had no shock absorbers to resist this missile.

In his words “tolulope, why are you breaking my heart, are you not supposed to be my girlfriend’ the only word that could come out of my rose colored lips was’ haaaaaaaaaaa! I quickly reiterated to him that he must have made things up in his mind, and then he started calling me names that I know you wouldn’t love to hear.

For my untiring ears, my eloquent words of wisdom, and my unarguable show of support, all I get is be labeled a ‘heartbreaker’!.

Sadly, now as I sit to remember the different names that people have called me in my 24 years of existence, ‘Heartbreaker and Amebo (poke noser) ’ comfortably sit side by side in the middle grinning sheepishly. How sad can that be for a supposedly good girl?

Image – gettyimages

Writer – Tolulope


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  1. Pingback: Help! Am I Too Close For Comfort? | Femme Lounge Terms

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