We all desire to have children who are comfortable around us, to be able to look at us as that confident, we want to be that diary that’s stashed under their pillow or one of the boys they “keep it real” with. We want them to see us as their best friends, one they can share their secrets, emotions, fears, dreams, the works and not the Olgar that roars and dictates all the time.
But in order to do that we need to establish a solid relationship with our child but where do we draw the line?
There are some parents who discuss their personal lives with their child in order to get them to open up, whilst I’m in support of that to some extent I still believe there should be clear boundaries dictating who the parent is.
If you have a daughter and she is of the age where you can share your past experiences, then do so ONLY as a reference point so that you can educate her on the mistakes you’ve made and how to avoid them. This shows your child that you are human and you know what its like to grow up in a society that is not that different from theirs.
BUT, and this really is a BIG BUT…
Be careful what examples you are using when discussing with your child because you wouldn’t want to disclose anything that they can make reference to in the future; or something that you feel they are not mentally ready to digest. So ladies ensure your stories are deemed appropriate.
On the flip side, tell them about your successes, and your accomplishments. This shows your child that hard work pays off and in return they will look at you as her very own role model, without being influenced by those artificial ones that grace our TV Screens.
We live in a time where there are so many grey areas, and complexities. Nothing is really black and white as we once thought they were in the stone ages (also known as the times of our parents and grandparents!). Now we just have to create our own rules when it comes to parenting because the tricks of the trade or shall I say the cultural ‘manual’ our parents used doesn’t apply to all children in all cases.
Every child is different. This is what makes them unique, they learn differently, grow differently and even adapt differently.
So when nurturing your child create a barrier to ensure there is a clear definition between parent and child but at the same time as your child grows and they start to form their own character, help them do that the right way by giving a little bit of yourself away to gain a lot more or a better insight into the mind, body and soul of your child.
Writer: Jennifer Oyelade is an entrepreneur and the Managing Director of Transquisite Consulting, a Recruitment and Business Solutions Consultancy (www.tq-consulting.com) Born and bred in the UK, her literature spans from personal experiences, those of her environment, and life in the UK. As a very strong believer in women empowerment, Jennifer is very passionate about how women are portrayed in the media, and how we can be more prominent in various industries and organizations.