Marriage

Help! My Husband Was A Serial Rapist!

   

 

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Question By  Confused Wife;

I met Lara eight months ago when Michael, my husband’s best friend introduced her as his fiancée. We hit it off right from the first day we met and have been very good friends since then, it’s like we have known each other for years.

Sometime ago, she called me on a Sunday morning and asked me to meet her at her parents’ house. I wondered what was happening, because, she had already moved in with Michael in readiness for their upcoming wedding.

When I got there she held my hands and led me into a room, I could sense she had been crying, her eyes were red. I kept asking her if she had a fight with Michael or caught him with another woman.

When we entered the room, she closed the door behind her and turned to me, She said, “Please, brace yourself up, because what I am about to tell you, will change your life forever”.

The night before, Michael woke her up in the middle of the night and said, he had been keeping a secret for many years and cannot live with it anymore, so he decided to tell her.

He said, he and three of his friends were serial rapists while they were in university, and they did it continuously for three years in and outside the campus and didn’t stop until one of their victims, a girl of about 12years died.

They were arrested after the incidence but then let off the hook without being charged. One of them had serious connections.

I opened my mouth in shock, wondering what kind of monster Michael is, before I could catch my breath, Lara said, “I am sorry to tell you this, but your husband was one of them”.

I dashed home with my heart pounding so fast, I had never been that scared in my life.  To my shock when I asked my husband he smiled and brushed it aside casually and said, “it was just youthful exuberance.”

He is not even showing any remorse or soberness, I tried to talk him into seeing a counselor in church, (we are not so religious, but we believe in God)  and then he got angry and said I should never talk to him about it again.

My husband has raped countless women and killed one, I am afraid that the repercussion of his devilish acts can bring calamities on me and my children, especially since he is not repentant. I am willing to forgive him and move on if only he gets sober and repentant of his actions.

Right now, I am thinking of staying away from him, I feel like I am married to a beast and a stranger, I don’t even know what evil he is capable of doing again.

He wants me to pretend it never happened. How possible is that?

Confused Wife ( married for 17 months, with a 9 months old baby)

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62 Comments

62 Comments

  1. aaa@yahoo.com'

    anon

    February 28, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    ha! i think it is highly important that the man shows soberness and repentance for his past actions. otherwise you cant just brush it under the carpet like nothing happened.

  2. aaa@yahoo.com'

    Bisi

    February 28, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    whaoh! this one is beyond me, i pass it to on to the wise ones.

  3. aaa@yahoo.com'

    Adunni

    February 28, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    this is a very serious matter, he really needs to talk to someone who can help him to see the evil in what he has done , and help me to be repentant and ask for forgiveness from God. otherwise it will keep haunting him and his family. i pity the woman, its a very sad position to be in.

  4. Jennifererere@hotmail.com'

    Jaycee

    March 1, 2010 at 12:46 am

    Their marriage will not be the same again, unless he is willing to sit down and talk to her about it.

    He needs to forgive himself first, him brushing it off may not be a sign of arrogance but of fear. Fear that he will never be forgiven for murder.

  5. nifemioyedele@hotmail.com'

    Neefemi

    March 1, 2010 at 1:15 am

    wow…i don’t even know what to say for one him being nonchalant about it doesn’t help – to be honest i say leave the house if after asking him to one talk to you and a pastor he doesn’t comply, not cos you don’t love him but for the sake of your child and you need to talk to your own pastor as well and together pray that God forgive him so his sins don’t come on your child…and just pray, Gosh i have nufn to say -i’m sorry

  6. jokelaniyan@yahoo.com'

    Joke

    March 1, 2010 at 3:13 am

    He needs to definately feel remorse about it. If he does not, then u need not be seen around such a person. He can end up doing something much more worse than he already has.

  7. bankeoladimejinam@yahoo.com'

    Banke Oladimeji

    March 1, 2010 at 7:22 am

    What! He blames it on youthful exuberance? How dare he? Rape is a very serious crime and in committing his evil acts, he also contributed to the death of another human being. How can he just brush it aside? Has he forgotten that every action comes with consequences? Abeg, woman, pack your things and leave the house o! Show your husband that you are not willing to take this matter lightly at all. Until he repents and asks for forgiveness that sin will always hang over his head. Please don’t allow curses to follow you while you are in the know about this situation.

  8. beautyay@yahoo.com'

    Beauty Fabulous

    March 1, 2010 at 9:30 am

    what a revalation!!! Turly speaking this marriage will never be the same again, except of course the husband truly feels sorry n repents from his past life style.
    Am parying for the wife and I know God will sure do something cos of her n her baby.
    God help us all, Amen!

  9. verah_lee@yahoo.com'

    Vera Onyeyiri

    March 1, 2010 at 9:34 am

    She should appeal to his fatherly side now he has children and ask him to imagine the same thing happening to any of their kids or relatives as young as the 12year old that died. If he still doesnt see the folly of his ways……well she should leave him! Serves him right being an unrepentant BEAST!

  10. nwaife@gmail.com'

    nwife

    March 1, 2010 at 9:45 am

    If he is unrepentant. Then she isn’t married to a human being. She should be wary

  11. mulan.mine@gmail.com'

    Myne Whitman

    March 1, 2010 at 10:06 am

    This is quite serious indeed. She should please stay away.

  12. tayomd@yahoo.com'

    Bridget

    March 1, 2010 at 10:07 am

    Leaving him is not going to help him become a better person and right now, his wife is the only one who can help him.

    She needs to be patient. You cant force someone to be repentant, even God doesnt force us to be sorry. He appeals to our heart and we feel bad for what we have done. Only then can we ask for forgiveness. If he realises he is being forced, he could pretend he is sorry but in reality he isnt. That doesnt solve he problem.

    The wife needs to stand in prayer before God and intercede for her husband. He needs the grace of God to be sorry. Just like we all do. Granted, his offence is really great but that means that he needs even more grace. While she is praying for her husband, she needs to pray for herself and her child. Because whether she leaves him or not, that child is his blood and if there will be any repercussion, it will happen within or outside the man’s house.

    Prayer and patience is the answer. It is very hard to live in the same house with him, smile at him or even touch him. But she is the one God is going to use. It is a special responsibilty and God’s grace is more than sufficient. Remember Hannah in the Bible, she needs to pray like that or even more.

    I feel your pain and confusion. But believe it or not your husband needs you now even for his own salvation. Your marriage can even be the better for it.
    Sorry, this is so long. I do have a habit of talking or writing a lot 🙂

    • mofe1@hotmail.com'

      Mini

      January 14, 2011 at 10:32 am

      Bridget, you are a very wise woman indeed

    • tegasakpere@yahoo.com'

      Tega

      January 9, 2016 at 4:22 pm

      Best reply.

  13. titilayo714@yahoo.com'

    Olajumoke Opemuti

    March 1, 2010 at 10:16 am

    I beleive she should confront him gently about this,and before she does that,she should have prayed hard that God should touch his heart and make him see reason.If he persists,there is reallly nothing she can do about it exxcept to keep on praying.She should not be bothered but should start praying for her children from now,that theri father’s sins will not be visited….I believe it won’t because everyone is bearing his or her cross…i know this is hard,but she should keep on loving him,it might eventually break the ice…

  14. yvirtuoso@yahoo.co.uk'

    yemisi Makinde

    March 1, 2010 at 10:20 am

    Oh my! this is a tricky one. While it is difficult to say, my question is this “who convicts of sin (or wrongdoing) is it man or God? The fact that one can see wrong in his actions and make a change is a gift in my opinion.
    Telling this girl to leave her husband is like a guy’s friends telling him to leave his wife for an abortion she committed before he met her……
    I think this lady should recognize that a married woman becomes the gate keeper of her household. She no doubt will feel hurt and betrayed. She must cry if she has to, stay away for a while if she has to but the most important thing is to ‘fight’ for her family through prayer. she should pray that God himself lets this guy see the evil in his past actions and that God should reach him in a way no human being can. His repentance will not come just so that she can feel good, or so the pastor feels he’s done a good job, It will come because God wants Him to. Did she not marry him to ‘help’ him? well, this is one example of how she can help him, it’s a tough one, but we are promised never to be given more than we can bear.

  15. folawe@live.com'

    folawe

    March 1, 2010 at 10:22 am

    Wow! that is really scarry… i feel for her. the fact is that a lot of marriages and relationships are based on a wrong foundation. Personally,i might blame the lady to an extent for shrugging off several instincts she must have had of her man’s ideals as an individual by saying to herself,” he is just being a man”..my point is you never marry a stranger per se..nothing new comes up apart from the ones you have refused to see.I believe, for instance, that he would have showed some level of disrespect to her at a point in time or speak ill of women generally and the lady would have failed to acknowledge all these….. it is a pity, the best thing she can do now is get close to that God she is been looking at from afar off amd ask him for help! Getting cruel to the guy and asking him to be remorseful isn’t the way either; he would have to come to that by himself…….but really, its a tough one.

  16. alifbaby@yahoo.com'

    Starry eyed

    March 1, 2010 at 11:14 am

    To state the obvious, this is a tough one…

    That being said, i agree that leaving him is not necessarily the best thing.

    From all appearances, he’s not entirely a beast, or she would have had some idea (be it domestice violence, or hitting housemaids or even kicking dogs). Its possible it was just misguided youth as he put it.

    Indeed that does not excuse it, i hasten to add.

    In the circumstances, i would advice that she do a little bit more than “believe in God” and actually get down for some serious knee-mail and pray for her husband’s repentance, because it WILL have repercussions on the family, especially the children.

    She needs to pray, i recommend using Stormie Omartian’s Power of a Praying Wife, there’s a chapter on His (Husband’s repentance), use it and claim your husband back. The life of your children depends on this…

    All the best…

  17. olajingbe@yahoo.com'

    sofiya

    March 1, 2010 at 11:16 am

    girl i have just one advice for you.RUN TO GOD. He is the only one that can solve this problem.surrender your life to God and ask Him to take over this battle

  18. morollahke@yahoo.com'

    rolake falana

    March 1, 2010 at 11:23 am

    I feel really sorry for her. Leaving him now isn’t the wise thing to do. As his wife she should help him, especially now that he is in trouble. She cant give up on her family.Be patient and prayerful(patience turns diamonds to dust). It may take a while but it will be alright. Pls seek help.

  19. dammy2k2@gmail.com'

    Dammy

    March 1, 2010 at 11:33 am

    This is a very sensitive one and at such requires alot of maturity and understanding to fit together.

    It’s natural to want to cast the first stone at reading this but I had to sit back and ask myself, don’t we all have a past, one that we are ashamed to even talk about? One that we want to assume never happened?

    As much as I don’t approve of the actions of these men, but I don’t think he doesn’t feel remorseful of those shameful acts in his past. Do you know like Michael, how many sleepless night he has had? How mnay times, he had wanted to tell his wife the truth about his ruthless past but can’t find the right words? The guilt he’s suffered through the years? How will he explain this to his wife? It’s a hard one…a very hard one. This man is scared!

    His past has come to haunt him and he’s losing everything that matters. For once, he has to confront his shame but he’s afraid to losing everything that matters – his marriage and his family.

    As hard as this seems, there’s no sin that can not be forgiven. If God should count iniquity who can stand?

    There’s never a time he needs the wife more than now. Only her can help him afteral, love is seeing strenght where there was weakness and doors where there were only walls. With some understanding and assurance, you will be shocked how he’ll crumbled on he laps in tears, pouring out his heart and begging for her forgiveness.

    It’s well.

  20. misi_jim@yahoo.com.au'

    yemisi adesina

    March 1, 2010 at 11:38 am

    My dear, i really feel for you and i believe your husband truly feels bad but just doesnt want to show it. his reaction to your asking questions was too drastic, maybe that’s why he responded angrily. Basically, you’ll have to pray for God’s mercies over the family, but dont ever entertain any thoughts of leaving him. For better, for worse was your vows. its tough but believe it God has endowed you with the sufficient grace to pull through. god be with you and lots of love sister.

  21. virtues8614@yahoo.com'

    kemi

    March 1, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    first,marriage-should-be-a-life-time-commitment.true,its-a-shocking-news-to-know-of-ones-spouse-inuoluement-in-such-babaric/deulish-act,to-the-extent-of-the-loss-of-a-life.it-isnt-dat-hes-unrepentent,hes-just-too-ashamed-to-face-it.so-he-has-to-use-his-male-ego-of-saying-it-was-youthful-exuberances,becos-the-death-of-the-12yr-old-said-something-to-their-soul-about-the-wrong-of-what-they-were-doing-if-not-they-wld-haue-continuied-until-the-day-they-wld-be-propable-caught.i-must-say-the-wife-will-haue-to-show-an-etra-ordinary-display-of-loue,i-say-dis-becos-now-the-memories-of-his-deeds-will-be-flashing-in-his-head.and-if-his-wife-isnt-louing-at-this-period.he-may-get-really-hardened.with-ur-support-and-prayers-to-GOD.theres-a-place-in-psalms-dats-say-God-should-deliuer-us-from-youthful-sin-pray-dat-prayer-for-him-and-with-him.u-dont-need-to-see-any1-4-now-take-charge-of-ur-home.stay-with-God-in-prayers.he-will-come-to-the-place-of-total-repentance.lastly-my-sista-it-not-easy-for-people-to-reueal-their-bad-past-and-nobody-wants-to=reuisit-their-past..show-loe-keep-ur-marriage-and-guard-what-God-has-giuen-you

  22. mbolupe@yahoo.co.uk'

    bolu

    March 1, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Dammy, you said everything on my mind.
    I will just add a line, next time “You Let Sleeping Dogs Lie”. Pray for wisdom in dealing with issues, Maybe if you had not confronted him, he would have told you at his volition, Imagine, if you waited for him to tell you first and then you say i know, don’t you think he would have shown respect and remorse.
    Anyway, Stay steadfast and Pray.

  23. bj4shortus@yahoo.com'

    Oguntimehin omobolaiji

    March 1, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    U just v to continue praying it is only God dat can touch his heart.

  24. donnic52@yahoo.com'

    Desiree

    March 1, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    Since a life has been lost in this unfortunate saga espiecially that of a 12 years old, then it is more complicated.
    i suggest the wife insist upon it that her so called unrepentant husband seeks for a therapist and for God’s forgiveness becos let’s face it, nemesis will still visit him and of course the wife will share in the same pot espiecially now she knows about it.

    Listen woman, if you are reading this, do the right thing for your sake and your children. Make sure your husband gives in and repent, force him any way necessary to save him from calamities ahead. He must surely pay whether he likes it or not, no sin goes without punishment and such sin as rape and kill comes with a high price and few have survived to tell the tale.

    A word is enough for the wise. Remember you have a child and hopefully more, pray your girl never live to witness such grave wickedness of evil.

  25. donnic52@yahoo.com'

    Desiree

    March 1, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    But all the same, learn to forgive him and give him another chance. Everyone has a past, someone of us has evil past that the mention of it can cause ears to fall off from it’s socket.

    Pray that God touches him, he is human, i know he’s remorseful but stupid pride and ego won’t let him own up.

    You are a woman, don’t tell me you don’t know one or two things you can do to make your hubby see reasons in what you are saying! Use your female prowress but do it with love. that’s the way to get to men!

    Wish you all the best!

  26. bhuksoso@yahoo.com'

    Bukola Ariyo

    March 1, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    Dis is indeed scary,if d guy is unrepentant,it simply means he can still do stuff like dat and excuse dem away!!!

  27. talktonana@yahoo.com'

    nana

    March 1, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    serious marra o! am speechless mehn. i will pray with you worried wife..it is well with you

  28. turpz4life@yahoo.com'

    temitope

    March 2, 2010 at 4:03 am

    my advice to the wife is to present the matter to God, the bible says no one comes to the Father except He draws them, God will touch his heart, he will realize what he has done is wrong and repent.
    He is probably afraid of what will happen if exposed that’s why he is putting up the nonchalant attitude. All these should be put into prayer, God will surely intervene.

  29. negacyisaac@yahoo.com'

    Olayinka

    March 2, 2010 at 5:48 am

    There’s no need for fears.
    Your marriage is till-death-do you-part so you can’t walk away. We can accept the fact that he kept this away from you and he isn’t even remorseful about it, (but how can he without the love of Christ in him). You married him and his past, present & future makes up who he is. So girfriend, on your kneel you conquer. Take it to God, ask God to touch him and convict him. You need to interceed on his behalf seriously and also for your family as whole (coz God operates on principles, remember that the sins of the fathers …………). Right now, i encourage you to stop the lamentation and STAND-IN-THE-GAP for him, your child and generations to come that there will be no reoccurence of such trait.
    Sweetheart, when we face challenges in life we are confident coz the we know how it ends; that is, we win coz we have the greatest warrior on our side. my advice, ensure you are on the Lord’s side.

  30. temitolaojo@gmail.com'

    Temi

    March 2, 2010 at 6:07 am

    I agree so much with Dammy. My dear, your husband is scared. Right now, he dosen’t need a nagging woman to drive him crazy with guilt, he needs love, patience and understanding.

    Please, stay with him. What you need to do now is pray for him. If you can, stop shoving it in his face and asking him questions all the time, he will only get more angry, scared and withdraw from u. Pray and u will see that he will talk to you about it willingly with remorse.

    Meanwhile, i suggest u get really serious with God, hand over your child and husband to him.

    I pray God will strengthen you and teach you in wisdom.

  31. re_thots@yahoo.com'

    rethots

    March 2, 2010 at 10:47 am

    Hmmm….

  32. funke@cumbamed.net'

    Funke

    March 3, 2010 at 8:14 am

    Hmmm,this i very huge and hard one..i guess in situations like this,we have to do what is rite not adding sentiments,its really hard but some family out there is mourning due to the cause of action of your husband…it is a criminal act,i think you should report the case to the police,let justice take its cause,since he is not repentant,even god will want him to restitute,go to the family of the child they killed and confess asking for their forgiveness…i pray God gives you the Grace to take the right decision..Its well..

  33. dithaholic@yahoo.com'

    Dith

    March 3, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    I know people hate the word DIVORCE but this right here is a situation where I’ll suggest divorce if that man refuses 2 show remorse for his actions.
    Youthful exuberance my butt! So I guess youths who commit heinous crimes should be allowed to walk abt scott free since it’s all a form of youthful exploration?
    That’s an EVIL man right there & she is right! Karma has its ways.

    Lady, I say give him an ultimatum. He had better ask God for forgiveness or do sumtn to really PROVE how sorry he is & U MUST BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART that he truly is, if not u had better get d stepping.
    At least ur friend’s fiance had conscience enough to fess up.

    BTW is this fiction or real cos I think I’m getting a lil too emotionally involved over here? LOL

  34. dithaholic@yahoo.com'

    Dith

    March 3, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    I wonder why some people even bother 2 ask for advice on Nigerian forums. Majority of the responses are always the same & predictable!
    Why can’t we ever face reality for once? Asking one to turn to God during hard times is never a bad thing to do, but at the same token, give her your 2cents on a more realistic approach. You’ve told her what to do spiritually, ok so what should she now do realistically?

    We all human beings for crying out loud. Her husband is no child and if that MAN refuses 2 take responsibility for his own actions, why should his wife carry his burden?
    So if your loved one was married to HITLER, you wld advice her to stay with him, pray & continue to carry his sins on her head abi? Ok o, una do well. lol

    Just saying and no offense to anyone by the way, just had to let that out.

  35. datebell4free@yahoo.com'

    Seun

    March 4, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    God will give you wisdom and I pray He touch your husband’s heart.

  36. bomi@jollynotes.com'

    Bomi Jolly

    March 4, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    Oh boy…

  37. ripplestz@yahoo.com'

    Tola

    March 5, 2010 at 2:41 am

    How can you ask her to stay away? I disagree with that counsel.Remember the marriage vows? I believe its either he’s in denial for self protection (acceptance will flood his heart with guilt and fear which he thinks he wont be able to live with), or he’s heart is hardened. The way out is not to further ‘spread the news’ by forcing him to see a counselor or shrink. The wife needs to first obtain a relationship with God(she said they are not so into religion but they believe in God)She is the home builder and must stand in the gap for her family. The Holy Spirit who brings conviction for sin can help him see his wrong. She also needs to pray for their child, so that he does not pick the habit (if he’s male) or fall victim (if she’s female). No doubt some of their victims may have pronounced curses and God hears the cry of the afflicted! selah.

  38. sayfrench@yahoo.com'

    saybuns

    March 5, 2010 at 4:27 am

    The heart of man is desperately wicked,who can know it? this man is a serial rapist,is unrepentant,shows a nonchalant attitude to the issue on ground,and yet people say,’he’s scared cos he does not want to lose his family.’ What rubbish!pls,put yourself in the dead 12-year-old girl’s shoes.what kind of maniac is on rampage? he ought to be hung on the gallows.The wife should pray,that’s a given,and confront him about the issue once again.He has to make amends;there is no two-way about it ‘cos he has an innocent daughter and wife. If leaving him for a while will solve the matter,so be it!let’s not spiritualize what-is not.The evil that men do…

  39. spicyjamie@hotmail.com'

    Gbemi

    March 5, 2010 at 5:25 am

    Dis is definitely a tough one… Marriage is a sacred union and u dont jst jump ship jst bcos u feel like….bt in a case like dis, all parties need God more dan ever!
    1st d guy kept such a secret frm his wife 4so long she had 2hear it frm a 3rd party and then he shows no remorse after she confronts him wit it…d wife shld continue 2pray 4him and trust dat God will eventually open his eyes 2see d true light of repentance…
    It’ll eventually happen maybe not immediately bt wit faith, trust, grace, it’ll work out

  40. seungeo@yahoo.com'

    seun

    March 5, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    she should be careful from then one,for a man not to be remorseful over the death of a girl they raped is simply inhumane.he is capable of doing worst things if prompted to.and one more thing, rapist dont change if they dont repent,its human nature just as liars,cheaters, thieves…all dont change except they repent.
    this might not sound good but,she should start preparing to walk away from the marriage.she was wise enough to reason dat the repercussions might catch up with her nd her kids.
    my advice to her is to stay if she feels she is strong enough to cope with such a thing in the family or leave if she stand rather than trying to manage wat is already broken…

  41. phemy2010@yahoo.com'

    bunmi

    March 8, 2010 at 11:37 am

    his unwillingness to accept his wrong and repent may be an indication that he’s still into such acts. i advise you as a wife to intercede on his behalf and ask God to convict him in his conscience. pls be strong, i don’t know how you feel but i’m sure it definitely not a good feeling.

  42. obbyoma2@yahoo.com'

    Obi

    March 12, 2010 at 9:50 am

    Hm. This one is tough o! You need serious Godly counseling and prayer. For you as a wife, overnight your respect/ love for your husband is shattered. For him as a husband, has he truly repented? No matter how much he repents, you will NEVER see him as the same person you lived with all these years. That’s the truth. Remember, your decision today will affect not only your life, but your children’s lives tomorrow. He probably thought he had successfully run away from a shameful past and kept it from you maybe because of the shame of the wickedness in which he was involved. But all the same, though its never easy, it calls for a lot of faith, prayer, and help from Godly men and women.

  43. baraal15@gmail.com'

    Culturesoup

    March 17, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    Sorry but i cannot agree with advice telling this woman to stay or to keep quiet about it. As if any one would be happy to cohabit with a serial rapist. Apparently there’s nothing that cannot be justified by ‘the marriage vow’. Clearly he omitted a lot of relevant information before that vow happened.

    If the allegations against this man are true, then these are criminal offenses that should be reported. Youthful exuberance or not, he doesn’t get to walk away from the consequences of what he did and it’s not his wife’s job to cover for him either. He did the crime, he should face up to it. And her duty as a responsible citizen, mother and a person that has morals is to report her suspicions.

  44. lfdlfdookfd@gmail.com'

    pypeplayelupt

    March 17, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    thank!

  45. priy2g@yahoo.com'

    priscilla

    March 29, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    pls get an hiv test dearie!

  46. surfwebykj@gmail.com'

    expemiava

    April 11, 2010 at 7:52 pm

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    http://tiny.cc/05mrc
    They do have 40 days cookie and they pay 10-15% commisions. They’ll match ads based on search query of your visitors and display relevant ads on you blog.
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  47. chiliz722@yahoo.ca'

    Liz

    May 11, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    I agree with Dith. Ask for advice on any Nigerian forum and all you’ll get is PRAY – PRAY – PRAY…………..
    Prayer is definitely the first thing to do. But it doesn’t end there. You need to take practical steps to extirpate yourself from this dilemma.
    There are 2 things I want you to consider.
    1- The sacredness of marriage
    Marriage is a life-long union. The only ground for divorce in the bible that frees you to remarry is fornication. Has your husband been unfaithful to you? No.
    The deviltry he committed was prior to your marriage. Plus you didn’t hint to the fact that he abuses you or your children.
    2- His attitude toward his crime
    He shows no remorse. He even justifies it. It denotes serious moral deficiency in him. If he doesn’t consider what he did reprehensible, he might do it again….to you, to your children, to an acquaintance….
    Ponder over these things and make a wise decision.

  48. tittlope56@yahoo.com'

    Femi

    June 10, 2010 at 10:40 am

    This is the time to bring out the virtuous woman in you. Remember a sin is a sin irrespective of its gravity and it warrants punishment. This is not the time to judge him so you are not judged too. Please think thru this, ask God to use you to show him the light. Please don’t let God down here because He needs you now to bring this soul back to him. See this as an assignment God has for you. Don’t be confused because the same God that has chosen you for this task knows you are capable. The Lord of host will guide your path. Remember divorce is not an option as God does not like putting away. This is your home make it work.

  49. ktp3689@hotmail.com'

    Kaitlin

    June 26, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    you ABSOLUTLEY MUST DIVORCE THIS MAN!! he is not a man, he is a MONSTER! I’m a christian, but please, do not let your religion stand in the way of

    GET AWAY FROM HIM IMMEDIATELY!!! This man should be in prison for life, not enjoying domesticated bliss with you and your daughter!!! You and your little girl are in grave danger if you stay with a person like this…you should not even allow him to have contact

    a lot of these answers seem to be given by brain-washed people. you honestly have no option BUT divorce. even if he was remorseful. the fact that he’s not just makes it all the more horrifying. he raped and murdered a CHILD. this man should never again see the light of day and you need to wise up fast. GET OUT. there is not eve a question about this. if you can possibly find a way to get him put in jail, do that too. whatever it takes to make sure he never comes near you or your daughter again.

  50. demo701@yahoo.com'

    Moe

    October 11, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    Only God has the power to forgive him. Pray 4 him. Sentiments aside, he/they deserve(s) to be punished for his/their acts.

  51. kcool4ever2003@yahoo.com'

    kike

    October 15, 2010 at 12:53 am

    men, this beats me

    i fear for your kids

  52. ag108sun@yahoo.com'

    yomesteher

    January 20, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    this is a tough one especially now that he doesnt seem to be repentant. in any case still keep praying for hime and ur family. there is also the possibility that he is actually sorry but his male ego wont allow him or he is even haunted by it.but in all keep praying God will do the rest.

  53. thecornershopng@gmail.com'

    Adiya

    February 16, 2011 at 12:28 am

    EH?!!! Pick race! If he can rape and kill without repentance he can rape and kill you. And news flash- he doesn’t believe in God else he wouldn’t be so cold about it. Your child is even more reason for you to run!!! And get alimony Heh!!

  54. tfw182@gmail.com'

    tammy

    March 29, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    The important thing is that you pray for him and show him the love he needs. What he did was wrong but we all have made mistakes and should be forgiven. I think it is was a big step that he told you about it and was willing to share this with you. That shows that he does love you and you need to be supportive. Talk to him about it. Ask him how it. How it got started and what he enjoyed about it? It is so sad that the 12 year old girl dies. That must have been very upsetting to him. make sure you tell him you still love him… and that you forgive him. I am sure that he didn’t want the girl to die.

    The important thing is that you stand by him and make sure that he knows you will always be there for him

    God bless you.

  55. adekanbi_a@yahoo.com'

    Dee

    March 7, 2014 at 11:15 am

    One thing christians refuse to understand is a pagan is a pagan and a christian is a true child of God.Expose all evill act and bring them into light,making excuses for someone for someone as this shows u are braainwashes with marriage terms.if u are truly afraid to go to hell as u all claim why are u all covering the sin of a rapist and a murderer.the bible and nature itself helped us to realise that rape and murder are in the same family.and it is usually committed by men who think a woman or girl is subservient to them and lacks respect for them.before u rape someone or rape them to death.it will take an evil gut not all the mercy shower u are all pouring down so that he would escape.confess to one another let ppl know what they did is wrong if they refuse treat them like a pagan,now in marriage u dnt lose your conscience for helping ppl especially women who are too obssessive about helping men and never thier own wellbeing and mental and emotional health.i tell u dis one is beyond u even beyond the person who commits abortion.this is an intentional sin and its bad covering it up makes u a partner in such act.men dnt admit dia mistakes and they are never wrong .marriage should nt be used as an excuse to cover bad things as this.som of u are hypocritical no this topic.put your mother and siSters on d’bad picture am sure u will sound differently frm your own self centred comments.stp perverting Gods book with excuses to run off.no one is talking about help here but exposing bad deeds is better when it is found out showing no remorse is worse than going to prison.now u all are talking of prayer how many of u pray even thrice a day,plz u are out of options dats all.such act is just deadlier than d’one u do to yourself cos most ppl are just lovers of thier own selves.sometimes when i see some ppls comment am like are dis ppl for real.what cud be beta dan tellin d’truth when u finally get caught than solves it all it takes humilty not just prayer and fasting like u need to cast out a demon.plz lets us all stp lying on this page especially at d’moment he is not yet in jail to confess cos jail aint no church.!!!

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