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No Sex Please, She Is Asexual!


By Deborah

It all started when we were in secondary school, my best friend never got excited about boys the way we did. We thought she was just being mummy’s girl and being obedient to her parents. Then we moved on to University and it was still the same, she had close male friends but never dated anyone. By the time we got to our final year, I was beginning to think she was a lesbian, but then again, she wasn’t in any strange relationship with any woman. She said she just wasn’t looking for a romantic or sexual relationship.

Now she is in her early thirties, and she has never had a relationship, never had sex (not even a kiss) and she seems quite happy about it.
We are all worried, her mother has fasted and prayed for years about it, is she a lesbian and afraid to come out? Is she frigid and afraid to have sex? We have asked ourselves for years.

Well, last month she finally told us what she is; “Asexual” she said.

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I have heard the word before, but never knew exactly what it means until she told us, she said it’s a sexual orientation and that is how she was born. She seemed to have really embraced it, she has all sorts of materials she reads about it and even joined an association of asexual.

I am a woman who loves sex, so i can’t even imagine how a woman can say she doesn’t want it at all. It just doesn’t sound normal to me. Should we leave her since she is happy about it or should we continue to seek help for her to change? I have no idea, her parents and siblings are clueless too.


Editor’s Note:  Thanks for reading. Please feel free to share your thought, knowledge and experiences below.  We recommend these  links for Deborah and any other reader that may want to know more about Asexuality.

1. What it is like to be asexual
2. Who they are and why they are important
3. Asexual Visibility and Education Network

<—-  thanks for reading this, please share it before you go.






    August 15, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Asexual ke! What is that one again!? How can someone not have a desire for sex and they are not gay? Its a twisted mindset issue sha. infact I’m shocked!


    angela iwu

    August 15, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    hmmn! interesting one. because something is not popular doesnt mean it is wrong. i have learnt a lot from reading the attached links. i think if the lady is happy then who are you to take away her happiness by forcing her to do what she doesnt want to do.



    August 16, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    what an interesting lifestyle. if it suits her then why bother to change her. we cant all be the same.



    June 6, 2013 at 3:04 am

    Hi everyone, it’s my first visit at this website, and paragraph is genuinely fruitful in favor of me, keep up posting these posts.



    December 21, 2018 at 2:29 pm

    Only in U.K. A pregnant woman queue! Terrible



    December 21, 2018 at 2:30 pm

    Only in U.K. A pregnant woman queue! Terrible

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