Marriage

3 Things To Do If You Love Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back.

   

Hey lovelies! Do you love someone who doesn’t love you back?  Then I have an interesting topic for you today: Unrequited Love. Ever since I was a youngin’ I have been pretty fascinated by the idea of unrequited love.

unrequited-love

I read Shakespeare’s play “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and was awed (as well as terribly amused) by the cat and mouse chase between the 4 lead characters; Hermia, Lysander, Demetrius, and Helena. The initial makeup of the story is as follows: Hermia loves Lysander; Lysander loves Hermia; Demetrius loves Hermia; Hermia does not love Demetrius; Helena loves Demetrius; Demetrius does not love Helena. Thanks to a little magical fairy juice and a mischievous little court jester named Puck, the play takes a funny turn with an imbalance in the love story of these 4 people.

Whenever I think about that story it reminds me of how applicable the idea of unrequited feelings are to us today. I know how painful it can be when you like someone so deeply and feel like they’re the perfect match for you, just to find out that they don’t reciprocate such feelings your way. It can be bloody heartbreaking. But, it can also be very beneficial too. There are silver linings in every cloud; even when a guy/girl you have strong feelings for doesn’t feel the same way about you. When you find yourself in such a situation, there are three questions you should ask yourself:

Do I really want him/her?

Many times we are more upset that we have been “rejected” by that guy or girl and feel our ego has been bruised more than anything else. It is good for you as a person to realize that no matter how wonderful or special you are, not everyone will desire you. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you, it just means that you are not created to be compatible with every person out there. It is a great humbling lesson.

What really draws me to this guy/girl?

Is it his/her looks? Good news is he/she is not the only good-looking person in the world. Is it his/her personality? Good news is he/she is not the only one with a personality that will match yours in the world. Is it his/her ambition? Good news is he/she is not the only one with ambition in the world. They seem like the only one at the moment because you have chosen to see only that person. Open your eyes wider and take a good look around; the world is FILLED WITH MEN/WOMEN that you have yet to meet! Stop pining over someone that doesn’t romantically desire you and utilize your time going out and meeting new people that you can potentially connect with.

Is it the right timing?

Timing really plays a greater role than we like to think in relationships. I know many gals that ended up dating or marrying a guy they knew from high school or college years back. At the time one or both of them may not have been interested but then later on realized how compatible they were and developed a sincere passion and love for one another. You might like a guy now but he may not be ready to be in a committed or mature relationship. You might not be either! You both may need some personal development and growth to get to before diving into a fully-committed situation.

The good news is that no matter who says no to you now, the right guy or girl will cross your path when you are ready to receive him/her and there will be no doubt on both your parts that you are loved by each other.

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Writer – Adaeze Diana is a freelance writer, visionary coach, speaker, and storyteller. She believes to deserve her great life she must help others deserve theirs. You can keep up with Adaeze at her blog, www.deserveyourgreatlife.com, and/or on her social media accounts – Twitter and Facebook .

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3 Comments

3 Comments

  1. dorisyuwa@gmail.com'

    Doris M.Yuwa

    March 11, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    The ones that you love the most, are usually the ones that hurt you the most.

  2. ade2e@gmail.com'

    Ade

    March 11, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    This article did not provide any solution to ‘unrequited love’. It simply covers ‘why unrequited love happens’ AND NOT HOW TO SOLVE it.

    • Noneed@yahoo.com'

      Anon

      March 12, 2014 at 7:46 am

      Ade, on the contrary it did. Each leads with a question but suggests what to do subtly

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