Real Women Real Issues

Ask Ada: I Only Have Sex With My Husband, How Did I Get Gonorrhea?


ada (1) Dear Coach Ada,

My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. He’s the best husband anyone can think of, we both run an estate firm. He’s the C.E.O while I am in charge of the marketing department. Last month, he travelled on a business trip and was out for 6 weeks when he got back we missed each other so much and as usual we made love that night. One week later, i started discovering symptoms of a urinary disease. I went for test only to discover I had gonorrhoea, now I’m shocked at that and I’ve started treatment already and I haven’t told my husband. I trust him so much I could swear he’s faithful to me and doesn’t sleep around because he’s a God fearing man and well disciplined and for me he’s all I’ve got. I have never cheated on him and I don’t use public toilets. I don’t share toilet with anybody that’s how careful I am. I’m confused because I want to confront my husband about it but don’t know how to. Is he probably cheating on me or what because I don’t want to believe he is. I can’t think, I’m just confused. How do I go about it? Signed,  Confused Woman  

Dear Confused Woman,
Sis, the only way to get through a problem is to ADDRESS the problem. As difficult and hurtful as it may be, you will need to activate the “courage muscle” within you and present your situation to your husband. Inform him of the STD you’ve contracted and let him know that for the love of God and your relationship, he needs to tell you the truth about what he has or hasn’t been up to outside of your marriage. I see that you wrote in regards to the possibility of his infidelity, “I don’t wanna believe he is.” Love, wanting something not to be true doesn’t make it any less true if in fact it is the TRUTH. I know you love and trust your husband deeply but you must also remember that he is a HUMAN BEING – and that means he is not beyond experiencing temptations or the possibility of infidelity. And contrary to popular belief, infidelity must not equal divorce. Once you’ve addressed the issue and gotten to the truth, you then have the fully-informed choice to either work on the restoration of your union (marital vows do include “in good times AND in bad”) or to pack your bags and leave. My prayer is that no matter what comes of the conversation with your husband, you let God ultimately lead you in your final decision and no one else – Coach Ada

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Adaeze Diana Obiako is a personal vision coach helping young women, battling depression/hopelessness, discover their God-given purpose and start experiencing joy each and every day. She’s the founder and editor of which you can visit for spiritual insights on living and loving greatly. Check out a popular post, 25 Things Every Woman Should Know By 25, from the blog. Now it’s your turn to get some answers.


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