It Happened To Me

How I Got My First Relationship Proposal EVER At 34

   

A happy african american female is being kissed on the cheek by her lover

I started my life as a young believer, and was very devoted too. Though, I think I allowed it affect my appearance.

While growing in my church, they taught us to dress well-covered, which is a good thing, but my friends and I took ours to the extreme.

We would wear Ankara often to school in our university days, and even when it is English wears, we would be entirely covered. We paid no attention to our hair, as long as it was neatly combed, we added nothing to it not even relaxer. My face was always oily and rough, we hardly used the white powder also, we just went very natural.

In my university days, I moved from my house to the class, then to the market or church. I never visited friends. I was always indoors studying the bible and praying. I didn’t really have friends except for some of my church members in my school too. People referred me and my friends as (S.U) as it popularly called in African mentality. I didn’t mind them as long as I was pleasing God.

Days, weeks, months and years passed by and I got no proposal from a man. When I was in my early teens and twenties, I didn’t see any reason to be approached by a man, I saw it as a sin and I never bothered when no one came. At the age of 23/24/25 some of my beautiful friends started getting married. I kept wondering, was I not fine too? Though no one in my family or outside have told me I was beautiful, I knew I am, but it was hidden.

I am sharing this story not to discourage you from being religious or the likes but let’s put a caution on how we take care of ourselves. You don’t need to put on the longest skirt and the most free blouse on earth to be a Christian. I wore a lot of Bulukus as some Nigerians called it. I wore native mostly. I was always looking extremely old at my young age. Some people looked at me as a married woman or a mama as some have mistakenly did.

SEE ALSO: This Couple’s Unconditional Love Despite Life’s Difficulties Will Make You Cry

It continued like that and I started praying. I fasted and prayed. I went to all the programs in the church but no husband was coming. My parents and friends were singing it to my ears, “how old I had become”. I wanted to be a leading career woman and a very good Christian too holding leaderships in the church but all my dreams were crumbling in my very eyes.

While I was studying for my second degree in school at the age of 32, I continued my old dressing. Some lecturers referred to me as “Madam” and I had to tell them I was still a “Sisi o”. I never knew one lecturer had been looking at me.

After spending 2years in school, I could still not boast of a man who had toasted or wooed me before either a believer or non-believer. I was just ignored and seen as out of date. I cried all night for an answer but i got none.

One day, our geography lecturer called for my attention and narrated how he had been watching me for years now and had picked interest in me. He was a 43years old man, but was looking like he was in his 60s, so unkempt and ugly (forgive me for that word). Though he wasn’t looking nice, the minute he told me he wouldn’t mind marrying me, I quickly went on my knees and said “Yes sir”, I would marry you. He was shocked at my response, but I didn’t care, and in 2months we did all the necessary introductions and got married late that year. Now I am 36, living with a man who looks like a stranger to me but I am learning to love and appreciate me. I have a handsome son now and my husband has taught me to look nice, while I taught him how to look young too.

I was sharing my story with two ladies in my neighbourhood in school, after seeing how they dressed shabbily to school. I called their attention and narrated my story to them.

Looking nice is very necessary. You need to look young and beautiful at all times. I must say I am a beautiful woman but I never knew it until I started looking nice in marriage.

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I am not saying you should look artificial like some do, but you can still look nice with a nice t-shirt or blouse on a flowered nice skirt or any colour. Men want their partner or ladies generally looking nice and attractive in a godly way.

If you dress like a whore like some ladies do, you will be addressed by irresponsible men too. Get social, go for events, seminars, church programmes, go to places you can meet responsible and purposeful men not just any gathering.

I was never social. I didn’t have friends and no one wanted to be friends with me.

Now my friends and family make jest of my Husband because of how he looks, but who cares, he has made me a “Mrs” and has taught me to look nice too. Now I take my time to look beautiful before I go out and I have seen men turn their heads, which was something that didn’t happen in my single years.

Singles out there, use your singleness to become productive and active too. Your youthfulness should be channeled to your usefulness. When you do innovative things and look nice too, men would come. Don’t blame God for your situation. You just didn’t make yourself available. I presented myself as a married woman even while single. Please, look your youthful years, take care of your skin and body, and look good.

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This story was first published on  www.nikkyslovecorner.wordpress.com . A blog owned by Adenike Adedokun. She is now a co-owner of www.relationshipcapsules.com

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9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. rosesforhinata@gmail.com'

    Vira

    October 22, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    Oh wow….
    I need to check out her blog.

  2. gladas2@yahoo.com'

    Gladas

    October 19, 2015 at 11:06 pm

    Born again Christians are getting married to the best guys who are handsome and young. I am the number one example. I have never had to dress worldly to attract any man yet I got so many proposals which I cannot count until I finally settled down for my husband. My husband is young, cute,educated and every woman’s desire. You can check out my wall. I think the problem you had was just personal or family issue. It is a pity you backslided after marriage. I never backslide after my own. My husband is even encouraging me to live a holier life. I am saying this to encourage born again sisters. I married before 30 meanwhile a lot of ‘good dressers’ are still looking for husband at 35. As for you, it is a pity that you backslides and happy about it and even discouraging others from following hard after God. Now the man you backslides for, is not making you happy but I never had to compromise but still got the best and I have a fulfilled family life. I encourage you to amend your ways. God bless you.

  3. meedads@yahoo.co.uk'

    Pearl

    October 19, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    @ Vira. same here

  4. gladas2@yahoo.com'

    Gladas

    October 19, 2015 at 11:16 pm

    And on my wedding day, I didn’t even use powder even after wedding! Natural all through. Check my pictures on Facebook @ Gladys Ojochide-Medugu.

    • arnytahfirebrand@yahoo.com'

      i hate hypocrites

      October 21, 2015 at 10:42 am

      I actually went to check out those wedding pictures of yours and they are effing ugly….! They wouldn’t have been ugly if you weren’t such a Pharisee. Which part of the write up above convinced you that she backslided? And even if she did, you had to come out in all your self righteous glory to pass judgment. If you have nothing nice to say keep your mouth shut. I thoroughly detest people like you… See you saying ‘its a pity you bacslided’ Sheeeesh! You need help cos you really are suffering from ‘superiority complex’ So you really had a lot of suitors??? Looking like that???? Please go loose some weight, you look like a bag of potatoes.

  5. oluwatobi_janet@yahoo.com'

    Janet

    October 20, 2015 at 7:01 pm

    When a write up is written, you pick up what benefits u. She isn’t asking anyone to backslide but rather advising ladies dt to look good & dress smartly but not wotrldly is good. Even if pple don’t appreciate you, ofcos u’l appreciate yourself & u’l b happy with d way u look. The way u dress isn’t d total criteria for men’s approach or proposal but d way u dress is d way u will be addressed. Look good, dnt use religion as an excuse.

  6. jimikate@yahoo.com'

    dara

    October 21, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    @ Gladas she s nt sayin one shld backslide bt dress well. nt lyk some sis dat will weae long blouse n long skirt dress well dats it nt dat u will dress shabily n d name f religion

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