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Help! Jealousy Is Killing Me

   

jealous

Question By Worried Girl:

I’ve known my friends, Nneka and Yinka since our undergraduate days and we have all been good friends for about 9 years after school now. Things seem to be working so well so fast for them, they both have great jobs, and are married to rich men, and they both travel outside the country at will. Everything about them is perfect!

I am still struggling with a low paying job, and no boyfriend.  Nneka’s salary is nine times more than mine, and her husband just bought her a posh house in Lekki last year. Yinka just bought her second car and is having her second baby very soon.

My own relationships with men have been failures upon failures, at my age I have fibroids and I am not married. Not even a boyfriend.

I used to be so happy for them, always praying for them as I pray for myself and always at hand to celebrate their successes, I have even helped them to babysit their children several times, but I recently discovered that I am getting overly jealous of them and their achievements.

I try to put on a brave face, but it’s so hard because they are always showing off and bragging about their successes. Whenever we go places together I’m always treated like second best and it’s like I don’t even exist anymore, they are so insensitive to my pains.

The worst part is not being able to be happy for them anymore and deep down me wishing them bad things, so that they will know how it feels to be in my position.

I feel horrible and don’t want to feel this way anymore but it overcomes me and I can’t help it. How can I stop feeling this strong jealousy towards them?

–       Worried woman

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66 Comments

66 Comments

  1. anon@gmail.com'

    anon

    January 29, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    hmmn! i feel you girl, i think many women can identify with your pains, but the truth is jealousy does no good. you just have to conquer it somehow and face your life.

  2. bson@hotmail.com'

    Bisi

    January 29, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    why are they bragging about their success to her, i think they are quite insensitive.
    my advice to you worried girl is that you should probably stay away from them for a while and go work out how to better your own life, dont be intimidated by them, its not too late for you too to get something good out of life. just keep believing and work hard at it. cheers!

    • adeola@yahoo.co.uk'

      Adeola

      December 30, 2010 at 9:34 am

      I guess they are just as insecure as Worried Girl (maybe even more)…
      Dear Worried Girl,
      In the words of Monica, ‘No one can take your joy cause they didn’t give it to you’. Now is the time to enjoy being single, make new friends,be ready to give (joy, love etc) and not receive, read, treat yourself to inexpensive treats (not chocolate o). Generally enjoy being YOU cause there is really no one like you.
      Your man will come but until work on being a total package. However, if the man is taking too long to come, HONESTLY, you don’t need him to complete you.

  3. Jennifererere@hotmail.com'

    Jaycee

    January 29, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    It’s really hard to be between a rock and a hard place, such as you are right now. First, don’t be too hard on yourself, jealousy comes with the human nature. But the good news is that jealousy can be DEFEATED.

    I’m going to take a chance and assume you can trust in God, if you can then be of the mindset that your own time will come, but at the BEST TIME for you. Your best time is not your friends’.

  4. ayinkebon@yahoo.com'

    Bolu

    January 30, 2010 at 4:16 am

    Worried girl, Not all that glitters is gold. You don’t know the pains they feel in their privacy. Go get a life girl.

  5. ayinkebon@yahoo.com'

    Bolu

    January 30, 2010 at 4:18 am

    Worried girl, Not all that glitters is gold. You don’t know the pains they feel in their closet. Go get a life girl.

  6. pamelastitch@yahoo.com'

    Pammy

    February 1, 2010 at 5:44 am

    Read this and saw the Nigerian measure of success all over, car, travels etc….lol…there are many people that have cars all over the place but they live in massive debt but you won’t know that because all people see is cars and travels….Ignore them, enjoy your singleness and focus on yourself….When the time is right, everything will come into place and don’t forget prayers.

  7. arewa81@yahoo.com'

    ADETEJU ATANDA-AJIMOTOKAN

    February 1, 2010 at 6:04 am

    I understand your pains but there is more to life than being jealous of other people’s achievements…Ild rather you dont compare your life to that of anyone because life is a race and we all are on different tracks…If you really do love these yor friends and value your friendship, then I suggest you sit them down and let them know how you feel. They probably have just been overlooking your pain and could redress their attitudes to you if you call their attention to it.
    Above all, hang in there and believe that your best days are ahead of you and they will surely come!!!!

  8. bigjaytaye2010@yahoo.co.uk'

    taiwo

    February 1, 2010 at 6:14 am

    I understand you young lady but how long will you be jealous of them.Cos the more you get jealous,the more they progress in their matrimonial homes.So delete off your mind and be free with them,who knows when yours will come.Remember to always leave in peace wit all men.Don’t worry very soon i am coming to rejoice with you.

  9. nneng30@yahoo.com'

    Nneka

    February 1, 2010 at 6:17 am

    I totally agree with Bolu…..people never actually reveal the truth and really, not all that glitters is gold.
    As for being jealous, it’s only normal but you must transfer that energy to God.

    Take your issues to God and he will surprise you girl….he will bless you abundantly and change your jealousy to love cause you know you will hold something greater than your friends combined together ”God’s” promise.

  10. nneng30@yahoo.com'

    Nneka

    February 1, 2010 at 6:24 am

    I totally agree with Bolu…..people never actually reveal the truth and really, not all that glitters is gold.
    As for being jealous, it’s only normal but you must transfer that energy to God.

    Take your issues to God and he will surprise you girl….he will bless you abundantly and change your jealousy to love cause you will hold something greater than your friends combined together ”God’s” promise.

  11. exquisitedamsel@yahoo.com'

    Jaiyeola Stewards

    February 1, 2010 at 6:29 am

    Bolu that was rather harsh!!!
    Hey Worried Girl, i understand how u feel & i think i agree with Bisi with taking sometime off them, chill and pray ask God to help u with this!You can also talk to your friends, if you have been friends 4 dis long, i think you should all be able to talk peaceful.
    And lastly Girl dnt worry your time to shine will come too.That i can assure You.
    Stay Blessed

  12. tayomd@yahoo.com'

    Bridget

    February 1, 2010 at 6:38 am

    Hi worried girl, i really understand you and the fact that your jealous makes you so uncomfortable means that you are good person.
    Firstly, i agree with people that have told you that jealousy is natural. And that your friends might be a little insensitive. They may not mean in a bad way to rub their successes in your face so dont hate them for it.

    I think you need to first of all re-discover yourself. Maybe you can take a break from your friends for a while and reassess your own situation. Analyse what you can change about yourself to improve your life, accept the things that you have no control over and put both the things you can change and those you cant firmly in God’s hands.

    You will be surprised that you find that you have been sabotaging yourself by looking at other people lives so closely and not looking at yours. E.g. is there something you can do to improve your relationship with men, or perhaps change your own career so you can earn more?

    Also remember, NOBODY’s life is perfect. I agree with others when they say that you dont know the problems your friends face in their private lives. No one will tell you these things only the good things.

    I believe self knowledge, self improvement and finally self acceptance will help you to be content with your own life and not feel bad when your friends brag because you know where you are heading and who you are, and you wont feel insecure. If after doing all these, you still feel that their bragging is unnecessary, call your friends gently or even joking and tell them. Be careful not to come across as being jealous though! It can harm your friendship.
    Your own time WILL DEFINITELY come. Believe in yourself and believe in God. Even though, it is understandable to be jealous but pls don’t let it block the path of your own blessings and progress.
    Good luck and God bless!

  13. tplus2t@yahoo.com'

    tplus2t

    February 1, 2010 at 6:44 am

    I don’t think you should Nneka and Yinde for talking about where they are in life, its a life defualt, everyone talk about where they are in any given point. My question to Worried friend is have you ever tlld them how you feel about the situation of things, becuse you keep suffering and smiling they probably believe you don’t have issues and find you very supportive despite you situation. Besides you have been friends forever liek you said or would you have felt better if as they ‘progressed’ they decided you were not on thier level anymore. if you have a problem with them let them know. As for how other people relate with you thats their perogative. I find my self in the same situation where people respect you less because you aren’t marriedits wrong becuase a woman is not defined by her marital status. However you have to understand the society you live in and live above the ideas and opinions of people. Hang in the gal and don’t let anybody weigh you down, you’re bigger than that.

  14. tolucci10@yahoo.com'

    tolulope

    February 1, 2010 at 7:07 am

    i feel you , it can be very hard and unfair at the same time , but that’s life for you. You know what , being jealous is just another silent killer that will cripple. Be joyful , if they keep making feel like a second best , cut the friendship. and never stop asking for God’s favour ,i think that’s what you need

  15. fadenyke277@yahoo.com'

    Nikky

    February 1, 2010 at 7:12 am

    worried girl,all u need is to go 2 d lord in prayer bcos he’s d God of possibilty,he cn do ur own too,u dont av to wish ur frends bad or jealous of thier success.’who knws d root of thier success’..uhm all dt glitters is nt gold,bt i bliev ur right time wil com soonest……so cheerrr up.

  16. moi.downtheaisle@gmail.com'

    dta

    February 1, 2010 at 7:15 am

    You know what I will say…pray!pray!! and pray!!! ‘cos as a christian(I don’t know if you are one) envy and jealous is not a fruit of the spirit and can breed hatred…u’ld jst find out that you have stopped walking in Love. and that can even stop God’s flow of blessings in your own life.’cos you begin to measure your success by what your friends have and stop seeing God as the master planner.
    As humans its difficult to wave it aside, we battle it everyday, I have this verse of d scriptures I say to myself:

    …He who compares himself with another is unwise!!!
    I will rather be wise than be a fool and you know what the fastest man does not always win the race…time and chance happens to all…
    Live your life and enjoy where you are on your way to where you are going.
    Let the script writer of your life decide how the play will go…trust me his a pro at such things.

    ***sorry this is long!

  17. bubuwinans@yahoo.co.uk'

    Bubu

    February 1, 2010 at 7:17 am

    i totally get where you are coming from, but like Adeteju said maybe u should talk to your friends, maybe they are not aware its getting to you, from this you will probably know the kind of friends you have and if should bother caring for them.
    but other than that Jealousy you do not need, tell God to help you deal with this so you can receive your own blessings.
    and you cant blame your friends, its not their fault, its just their time…yours will come, trust God!
    All the best…

  18. titilayo714@yahoo.com'

    Olajumoke Opemuti

    February 1, 2010 at 8:22 am

    Hello Worried girl,
    i beleive you do not have to get anxious about anything.It also happened to me before,but as people have said earlier,jaelousy comes with the human nature,when it happened to me,i got on my kness there and then and asked God to take away the feeling and i tell you, there and then it was lifted,i got a job and now i am married.wherever you find yourself today is not the last resort,just try and focus and keep on being nice and you’ll see that you will get the best at the end of the day.

  19. intosem@gmail.com'

    I.MAKIR

    February 1, 2010 at 8:52 am

    I love one thing about you GIRL. Your Hard Work.Just add Prayers and the sky will be your starting point. For your two friends I guess they have forgotten the GOLDEN SAYING Be Kind To Those You Meet On Your Way Up, You May Likely Meet Them On Your Way Down. For Your Friends Leave them with God and move with your life. They are simply not worth all the headache. God will surely help you to over your Jealousy. Remain Blessed…

  20. nana@yahoo.com'

    Nana

    February 1, 2010 at 9:14 am

    hey girl, success is not defined by the no of times you travel or how many cars you have, it is a factor of how hapy and content you are

    find out what really makes you happy and learn how you can improve on it cos in the end thats what really matters

  21. deboreuben@yahoo.com'

    Gbadebo Reuben

    February 1, 2010 at 9:54 am

    Hi Nneka, Im a 35 Yrs old male and single. But should be married soon. My words of admonitions is straight up. Life is full of issues which you can’t run away from. Face them, confront your fears. Everyone of us has issues. Some major debts even with their fanciful cars and houses.

    Jealousy is inborn in all humans. You just have to learn how to manage yours, Simple. Talk to your numerous friends, relatives and also check your clientele base or network of contact, build on them and you will get a better job.
    Finally, try and socialise alot more so you can be exposed to more male friends which will increase your rolodex of them thereby resulting in a successful partner search. Much Said. Wish you well. Muuah!

  22. julienayo@yahoo.com'

    julie

    February 1, 2010 at 10:36 am

    I feel your pain. One time or the other in our lives we feel that way. Kill that jealousy and pray for them. Read matthew 5: 44B.

  23. beautyay@yahoo.com'

    Beauty Faboyode

    February 1, 2010 at 10:46 am

    Everything in life has a season. Me thinks this season is for your friends…your season is around the corner.

    Trust me worried girl, this season like others before it too, shall pass.
    Be happy and bask in the time and freedom you have now.

    God is definitely working out things for you, just hold on…

    You are in my prayers.

  24. dessuc83@yahoo.co.uk'

    Bolaji

    February 1, 2010 at 10:59 am

    Honestly i feel u,bt truly jealosy does no gud.jst keep prayn n trustin God,someday,He’ld show up 4 u.

  25. nwanchukwusandra@yahoo.com'

    Sandra Nwachukwu

    February 1, 2010 at 11:01 am

    Hey worried girl, If you don’t like the music, then change the the record or Cd.
    See, you don’t have to hang around them If all they do is make you feel miserable, they should use their heads for once.

    I sugguest you take time to read the word of God …ie the Bible and claim the many promises in there…don’t loose faith, God is up to something huge on your behalf.

    Just Trust, Obey and keep your faith.

  26. princessjedacsl@yahoo.com'

    Dr Jeddar

    February 1, 2010 at 11:18 am

    My dear friend,
    Life is not all rosy i want you to realise that. Please you have to get out of this mood and move on with your life. while there is life , there is hope…And let me tell you that no matter how long or deep or dark a tunnel is, there is always a shinning bright light at the end. Dont give up onlife ok and dont forget what the Bible says that rejoice with those who rejoices and mourn with people that mourns. Be happy for your friends keep working hard and i tell you that luck will smile on you soon.
    Loads of love.

  27. olatouno@gmail.com'

    olatoun

    February 1, 2010 at 11:25 am

    Well, everyone’s said it all…its gonna be hard but kick jealousy out n u’d be all better for it…stop COMPARING…work ur best…be smart…rediscover…hang on to GOD like glue…

  28. olajingbe@yahoo.com'

    sofiya

    February 1, 2010 at 11:34 am

    hey worried girl, i feel ur pain.see am in ur shoes too.most of my friends are married and being around them can be very uncomfortable atimes.cos i keep feeling leftout and inferior.at the same time i have realised that the grass is not always greener on the other side.girl do they have serious issues!!!marriage,material wealth cannot guarantee a stress free life or inner peace. you owe it to yourself to be happy whether all things are in place or not. these days i find excuses and create reasons to be happy.i believe God loves me and has my best interest at heart.thay gives me peace of mind.it’s not easy but i tell my self to wait patiently for God’s will and time. and i pamper myself as i stay prepared.infact am happy to be unmarried now because i am making discoveries about myself that would have made marriage hell for me if left unchecked. it is impossible for my friends to marry my own husband alongside their own or have my own children alongside their own.what is mine will surely come.sorry for this epistle

  29. goodnaijagirl@gmail.com'

    Good Naija Girl

    February 1, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    I can definitely relate to feeling like your friends have eclipsed you, or that their lives are running more smoothly than yours, but I came across a blog entry today that said something that I thought was so great. Life is not a race. You have not won, or lost. You can still be anything you want to be.

    It is my prayer that your medical concerns will be healed and you will be able to prosper in all aspects of your life that currently have you feeling down. I honestly believe that only prayer, namely asking God to take away the jealousy that you feel (kudos for recognizing it!) and to bring you healing and success in everything your hands touch is the key. It’s not a race; you will get where you need to be in time…God’s time.

    Don’t lose heart!

    Also, sometimes when we don’t feel too great about ourselves, we have a tendency to interpret other people’s comments or actions that might be quite innocent as being otherwise. If that is not the case for you, it cannot hurt for you to distance yourself a bit. The negative energy they are giving you is not healthy!

  30. jkpebs@hotmail.co.uk'

    Pebbles

    February 1, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    Hey worried girl, what can I say, I dont know if you are a christian, but I hope this will be a comfort for you. God is a good God. He sent his son Jesus christ to bare all our pain that ‘you may have life and have it more abaundantly’ the blessing is the abundance! Any kind of lack is not from the father (God). He loves you so much, just trust in him.Tell him about how you feel in prayer.In times to come you may even overtake your friends, but that should not be your goal. What I am saying is thats how sometimes God surprises us! Try not to look at the lives of others.I know it can hurt cos you are thinkin ‘what is going on’? You can feel like I dont have anything new to say. Dont worry! your not the only one.Just know that God has a perfect plan for you. To do you good, give you a future! That in icludes marriage, finances, home, children etc.Start seeing yourself the way you want life to be. (As a man thinks so is he). Im sure you are not the type that like to boast but im sure if you look closely there is something good and precious that you have that no one else has. Start with that thing. Start feeling good about that!Please note that everything is subject to change. So things will not stay the way they are with you. It will get better! Better and better! God is good to all not just your friends. You will have your time very soon when you will surely celebrate and shine!! Look out for it sweet pea!! God Bless! All the best. xx

  31. sunnymusician15@hotmail.com'

    Nessa J.

    February 1, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Hello, my friend you shouldn’t feel bad. Jealousy is normal but don’t let it overtake you. Think on the positive things that you have. You have life. Also, even if your friends seem to have more material things there is something that’s missing. No one is perfect no matter how much they brag or put on a show. If you feel they intentionally put you down then they are not your friends. Do take time away from them and get your life on track. Pray that God will make you stronger and give you the commitment to keep going foward. Be wise about the relationships you enter whether it be a friendship or a romance. Some people don’t want the best for others, but you seem to be a loving, beautiful person. Express your beauty and don’t feel bad for yourself. There is much for you in life.

  32. wwjd_ad2j@yahoo.com'

    Olabc

    February 1, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    One truth that was ‘drummed’ into me last year was that u can’t control how people treat/circumstances that come your way, but your attitude(s) towards them is entirely up to you!
    I know success is not a destination but a journey, you are on your way there and how long it’ll will take you is determined only by YOU! Jealousy is/will slow you down my dear, you just got to look inside of you to find the courage to carry on if no one is cheering you on. . . If you’ve got God, it’ll be so much easier. All the best!

  33. tbs4real@yahoo.co.uk'

    Tbs

    February 1, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    Worried girl…
    After all said and done.
    The focus should be Enjoy Ur Singlehood and present state.
    The error we make as christians is to believe that until we achieve certain milestone in life, like getting married, getting a good job, buying a house blah blah blah…. before we begin to call ourselves successful. My dear, Success at anytime is a measure of ur own personal capacity, and right now, u dont sound like one.
    Get hold of ur life, enjoy ur present situation, constantly position yourself to be bettere, leave the baggages behind and trust God.

    And believe me, u’ll c. If u aint a success story in ur present capacity, it would be difficult for God to equip u with more. Remember the Parable of the Talents

  34. freshprincess2k1@yahoo.com'

    Zara

    February 1, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    Firstly worried lady,worry produces nothing.been single shouldn’t be an issue,its better to live a fulfilled life than to be married and unhappy.i’ll advise u to call on your friends and bare your mind to them.might not be that easy but its better and safer.distancing yourself will only send wrong signals.finally,do you have a one on one relationship with your creator?i think you need to consult Him as He alone knows your end from your beginning.God is your strenght.Shalom

  35. eakindele@yahoo.com'

    Beauty

    February 1, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    Wow… Gbadebo has said it all, because as I read through everyone else comments which was great and on point. He address the simply things we tend to forget to acknowledge sometimes.

    You can not say you are beliving God for a breakthrough without working in Faith by doing the things necessary to achieve this. My dear beloved worried girl, take life by the horn and have a blast with it because no condition is permanent and your Joy will surely come to pass.
    So go out there mingle with others that will encourage you in your life, relationship, goals and watch God do the rest!!!

    HE makes all things Beautiful in HIS Time…

  36. atunbioye@yahoo.com'

    Olufunke

    February 1, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    Hi girlfriend, its human to think the way you do but if you have Christ in your life,all you have to do when the thought of your friends success crosses you mind is to stand up and do a dance knowing fully well that what God has in stock for you is greater than what you can see around you in form of others achievement.
    Remember,the glory of the latter days surpasses that of the former

  37. lufe4u@yahoo.com'

    Joy

    February 2, 2010 at 6:20 am

    Success / wealth is not measured by the amount of money or the valuables u have. How many lives u are positively affecting? Are you achieving the purpose why God brought u here? If u understand this, then there is no reason for being jealous. Pray and ask God for help!

  38. baloyin@yahoo.com'

    Balogun Iyinoluwa

    February 2, 2010 at 9:14 am

    Worried girl,

    I can imagine your hurt right now. it’s hard to really be happy when you feel you are not getting the good things of life that you really deserve. I agree with you that your friends are over-emphasizing their acheivements with you getting the flaks but like Madea says, ‘life happens’

    the first thing is this, you shouldn’t allow people to determine the way you feel about yourself. Absolutely no! Your friends may be riding the best cars or having vacations on the moon but the truth is – you don’t know what they are going through when no one is there. You don’t know if their husbands are cheating on them (with their knowledge!), you don’t even know if they’ve had to see psycologists or take medications to keep sane. all you see is what they have that you don’t have and it will keep eating you up until you decide to accept who you are and where you are today. that’s the only way you can determine a better tommorow.

    You also have to prioritise – decide what truly matters in life. What are the things that really matter to you? What do you really want from your life. Have you spoken with a trusted counsellor, pastor or a (wise) older person about it? Set your own goals, (not based on our society’s image of success – let it be what you really want) and do some soul-searching. you might find out that the reason you don’t have what they seem to have (like a good relationship) may be because you are looking in the wrong places or you don’t love yourself enoughto believe you can attract the suitable kind of man. As for a job, what kind of job do you want. Define it. Believe me, you can get job satisfaction with good pay. You might also need to talk to someone who has advanced in that career and you’ll find out that it’s easier than you think.

    As for your friends, it might be better for you to use your discretion on how often and how closely you relate. if they are such good friends they should be thinking of how you can get better not flashing stuff in your face. right now you need to believe in yourself and what you have to offer a man and the whole world at large. bad feelings won’t do you any good, they will only make things worse. if you want to get better, start thinking about how you can move forward. talk to people who won’t put you down. Nobody will strive to make you happy – it’s something you have to do one your own.
    I also agree with the last person’s comment – you need to let God help you. He knows much more than you do in this matter and HE is willing to let you in on it.

  39. turpz4life@yahoo.com'

    temitope

    February 2, 2010 at 9:41 am

    dear girl, all you need is to thank God for what you have, and bless Him for the other things He will do,
    i know it may be hard but you really need to be happy for your friends, God is not a man that he should lie, keep rejoicing with them and they will soon come and rejoice with you.
    note this: We will all get to where God wants us to be it’s just the means that is different, some will fly there, some will run, some will walk, and some will crawl,…………..but the bottom line is this we will all get there!

  40. joke.hassan@gmail.com'

    joke

    February 2, 2010 at 10:05 am

    What u are feeling is quite normal and it makes u human.All u need do at this point is try to engage yourself in activities that would take your mind off the negative thoughts.
    As for your friends,i dont think they are bragging,i think it is more of the fact that it is the life they know now and am sure u don’t expect them to dwell in the past all the time.Wish u the best in all your endeavours.

  41. obbyoma2@yahoo.com'

    Obi (female)

    February 2, 2010 at 10:18 am

    Worried girl, you know, nothing weighs more than guilt. You feel guilty because you know you should be happy for your friends, and it’s so bad that you’ve started to wish them ill luck. You know, bearing your grudges alone is one sure way of dragging yourself deeper into depression. Have you ever though sharing with your friends? I know a lot of people will frown against it, especially those who advocate for married/ successful women to stay away from their not so lucky friends. Where is friendship in that if I may ask? Open up dear. Tell them. It may bring tears, it may bring rejection. But you’re already turning yourself into a terrible friend by bearing such negative thoughts and wishes for them. Free yourself, and be a better friend. Tell them. If you lose them, well … Truth be told though, the truth sets you free. Don;t expect hugs, kisses, acceptance cos chances are that you may never get them. But pray. If you truly love your girlfriends, then you need to come to a place where you accept their success and rejoice with them. Fact is: they may already have noticed your distance/ unhappiness. So, try opening up. Fear is your only setback.

  42. nnenna_mbah@yahoo.com'

    Nina

    February 2, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    Hi dear,

    I can feel u and know what it is to be in that situation. But never allow the human side of you take charge of your life. Keep on striving and praying. Your own time will come surely. Always remember to rejoice with others ok so that yours will come to you. You really dont want to know whats happening inside of their lives so dont judge by what you see. Patience and faith are all we really need in life!!!!!

  43. lassy_1234@yahoo.com'

    Aisha

    February 2, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    I’m not praying or wishing them bad because I don’t know them or even if I knew them, I wouldn’t pray for their downfall but the truth of the matter is this; if the reality of what will happen to them in the near future is shown to you, you wouldn’t envy them. Take each day as it comes and thank God for His gift to you which is been alive. Some are looking for all that you got even with their wealth but couldn’t. Continue with your prayer and also with doing good. If you trust in God, your reward is with Him.

  44. donnic52@yahoo.com'

    Desiree

    February 3, 2010 at 5:49 am

    Miss worried girl, life is a stage and every man and woman are merely players. If you were in their shoes, you will also be ignorant of their own pains. Just because they don’t show pity towards you does not mean they don’t feel you but nevertheless that will not stop them from speaking of their own achievements and because you feel the way you do, you now labelled it as BRAGGING!
    Let me be frank with you girl, every man has their own destiny and yours and your friends can never be the same.

    Remember a race of a thousand miles starts with a step, it doesn’t matter who got their first; but how well you got there! Your friends might have all the comfortable life now, but no one knows to morrow, yours might turn out much better!

    Learn to accept other people’s success and failures, that my dear will help you in advancing towards your goals. Think about it, what actually makes your friends unique? What differs them from you? What’s so special about them that people see and they don’t see in you? What are your goals in life? Are you working up for your own goals or are you simply trying to follow your friend’s footsteps? These are the things that you need to reconsider. Do it and you will be suprised what you will find.

    All the same, i wish you the best and i advice you to refrain from bearing stupid grudges against your friends, Keep your heart clean towards them and pray for them as usual. God looks in the heart and he will surely make you smile at last. Goodluck!

  45. ayooladeji@yahoo.com'

    ayo

    February 5, 2010 at 10:26 am

    Dear friend, fingers are not equal. Turn to God and release the energy within in prayer to Him. He is faithful. Let the love of God flow in your heart. One book says we chose to love and not to love, there’s nothing like falling out of love with someone. Looking forward to your testimonies dear,

  46. seyifayok@yahoo.com'

    Seyi Bex

    February 22, 2010 at 3:13 am

    Dear Worried Lady,
    Like some people have rightly commented, you are only being human and if i were in your shoes i will try as much as possible to stay away from such friends, if they really care about you as you care about them ,they will be the one to look for you.
    Friendship is not all about money.i want you to put this at the back of your mind”wealth is not determined by the amount of money you have or the number of cars you can buy,or the number of Houses u can build all over the world,or even the number of times you have travelled for holiday”.Make God your best friend, am sure you will never regret your relationship with him.

  47. abioyemi@yahoo.com'

    BIODUN

    February 22, 2010 at 10:36 am

    just put everythings to God’s hand. He will surely perfect your life in a better way than your friends.

  48. strictlyonlinebiz@gmail.com'

    Udegbunam Chukwudi

    February 26, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    The feeling is understandable. One thing stands clear to me here. If you guys are really good friends as you say, they would have noticed your plight and pitched in to help you out. That’s my own definition of friendship. I can swear on my last breath, that I would never see one of my very good friends and act like it’s all good when I have the potential of raising that person to my level and making him/her feel better about themselves.

    It might just be about that time when you break away from them and start seeking new friends. It’s quite sad you had to experience this now. I experienced it in high school and that’s partly why I have a defense mechanism in place. I don’t let people get too close to me cos they always turn out filled with rubbish except for a few.

    It’s well. Just try and find some happiness somehow and remember that someone else out there is having it 200 times worse than you are.

    Cheers!

  49. kiirushiro@gmail.com'

    Sheeze

    March 2, 2010 at 8:43 am

    I may identify with your situation right now, I’ve been working last 4 years and having a low paying job while all my friends are making it big so what I do is to try and avoid situations with them that will make me jealous of them, if they say we go shopping i say i have other plans. I also believe a good life is also not all about big houses, good furniture, cars etc. Enjoy what you have right now and you’ll be amazed that they may be envious of you.

  50. dammy2k2@gmail.com'

    Dammy

    March 4, 2010 at 3:39 am

    It’s natural to be jealous. Everyone who has dropped a comment here have been jealous at one time or the other in their life, so you are not alone in this. You are just being human.

    However, it’s an abnormality when it becomes an obsession. Such obsession or excessiveness often results in negative thoughts (Like your current situation) and in some cases, malicious acts against others.

    How then do you overcome it? Jealousy like every other human emotion is a bolt of energy, which has the capacity to become excessive. However, when such energy is channeled into a more positive enterprise, the result is usually outstanding.

    Therefore, as much as it is natural to be jealous, let it inspire you to be a better person. Channel that energy into some creative enterprise that will move your life to greater heights and you will be amazed at the sea of water you’ll find beneath your desert land.

    Life is beautiful when you start seeing things through the eyes of a child. No wonder Christ commands us to “Be like one of these little ones”.

    It’s well.

  51. takins08@gmail.com'

    tee-t

    March 20, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    I believe all things work together for them that love God.To say i have not been down that path is a lie but guess what instead of jealousy i look forward to my own time,’cos’ i know my life and time is in His hands.When there is life,there is hope.

  52. bomatai@gmail.com'

    boma Tai-osagbemi

    March 23, 2010 at 5:51 am

    ow it is sooo soo nice. the SITE i mean. welldone

  53. babe10@yahoo.com'

    Nurse 2010

    March 30, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    Hey lady, i just saw ur msg never being on this website. U know what, i find with the modern day ladies in Nigeria, vanity/ show off is their first names. What i honestly think u should do is to talk to ur friends, especially how they make u feel when u ladies do go out. U shldn’t feel jealous about their success because your blessing comes from the Lord. Just pray to the lord for ur own blessings. I can honestly tel u that is the best way to go.

  54. kulhally@yahoo.com'

    Inemjay

    March 30, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    I have not been in your situation but on the other side and i feel uncomfortable sharing some things with my friend, jsut cos i’m scared they wnt be geniuely happy for me. But i commend you for seeing it as a problem and looking for help! When ever that tot comes, remember that God has great plans. the truth is you may not be able to see it. But pls never be weary of doing good or wishing ppl good. my sister, the doors it will open for you will be unbelieveable! I dnt know how best to say it.. But i want you to view your life as a unique one with a unique path. God bless you and your blessing is around the corner if it is not already there.

  55. larrahromire@hotmail.com'

    Lara

    April 6, 2010 at 10:58 am

    Is hoping I do not get to feel this way about my girlfriends…So happy for them. Your own time will come

  56. bolajuwon2002@yahoo.com'

    ayobola

    April 26, 2010 at 8:55 am

    i agree u suld talk 2 ur frends n let dem kno how u feel.but my dear pray hard n i mean PRAY HARD. d funiest tin is dat dey wil neva let i kno wen anytin goes rong n beliv me, tins go wrong.so dont envy dem or wish dem bad.ur wil come.

  57. chiliz722@yahoo.ca'

    Liz

    May 12, 2010 at 3:10 am

    No matter what you’ve achieved in life, there is always someone out there you envy. Dwelling on such things however, could be harmful because you fail to see what you have that they don’t, how unique you are, the blessings God has bestowed on you.
    Now, real friends are people who do not downgrade us, who do not seek to elicite covetous desires in us. If your so-called friends are so insensitive to your needs and only contribute to your feelings of insecurity, are they genuine friends? Is it worth keeping them?

  58. uk_evy@yahoo.com'

    lala

    June 3, 2010 at 3:53 am

    dearie, i feel you. i guess i have trodded that pathe before. you know what i did: i stayed away from them, but i always call them wish them happy birthdays, ask about theire families et all. i always ensured i prayed to God to give me a better and fantastic paying job (which He did-Glory be to God) and guess what, they started respecting me:) so funny rite? i also worked on my self esteem. i never took my problems to them, i never asked for financial assitance fromm them, i respected my self. Prayers and high self estemm were the keys i used. so its well my dear, just tell it to Jesus ( the only trustworthy one) and he will guide and help you. Cheers

  59. uk_evy@yahoo.com'

    lala

    June 3, 2010 at 3:54 am

    hmmm i forgot to mention this…talking to your friends about it is good BUT you have to use wisdom so they dont miscontrue your feelings:)

  60. profchid@yahoo.com'

    Jewel

    July 28, 2010 at 11:32 am

    Hi….worried girl…just saw this piece. My candid counsel is this…PRAY…pray like there is no tomorrow. Never underestimate the power of prayers. It is ordinary to feel Jealous but right now a lot of ordinary things are happening to u…wat u need now is the EXTRAORDINARY…. extraordinary relationship with God, extraordinary relationship with yourself and extraordinary relationship with your friends. When you build your relationship with God, you experience this PEACE that transcends all understanding….the world does not understand this kind of PEACE…meaning that regardless of what is happening around you…you will always feel that TOMORROW HOLDS FOR YOU. Then an extraordinary relationship with yourself…..will not permit you to compare yourself to anybody…u r unique….one of a kind, there is and will never be another u in planet earth and remember the first person to take off on a journey might not be the first to get to the destination. Love yourself, see your self through God’s eyes, be at peace with God and yourself and definately you will find peace with your friends. If visiting them still hurts you, try and keep away for a while…i’m not saying you should leave them but keep a distance…if they miss you and care, they will want to find out why…who knows you might be able to communicate your feelings to them……My dear you are meant for the top…tomorrow holds for you…See you at the TOP.

    • charityigb@yahoo.com'

      ChaCha

      January 20, 2015 at 5:50 pm

      So true

  61. Pingback: Help! I Hate The Girl In The Mirror. | FEMME LOUNGE ::: Young Women Doing Life Together

  62. mallamkonkite@yahoo.com'

    konkite

    February 28, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    I am not trying to abuse you but you lack common sense. As soon as your friends got married, you should have kept away from them and see them once a year.

    You need to face your predicament in life and stop pitying yourself or make comparisons. We are not here in this world to do the same things or achieve the same goals.

    Pray and sort your fibroid problems out. Not eating specific foods limits the chances of having fibroids.

    Go organic and stop African foods like GARI/EBA. Late Elizabeth Kafaru cured herself of fibroid and claimed that GARI is a no go area.

    Do a research on why African women have fibroid and see your GP for advice.

    Methinks, it is better to have fibroids that have imbeciles because African culture does not accept such problems with sentiments.

    I wish you the best of luck Good luck. God dey! Remember that envy can kill. Move closer to God or become philosophical.

  63. charityigb@yahoo.com'

    ChaCha

    January 20, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    I think you should give your friends a break and focus on ur own life. their is a time and season for the people that come into our life’s. It’s time to grow up and face ur life and look for friends that are in the same phase of life as u that u can relate with.ur friends obviously are too busy with their life’s they hardly notice how far u are behind them and u can’t blame them cos they have long passed that phase in their lives and are moving forward. U also have to move forwards urself

    Face those issues that are most important to you.its human to be jealous but u have to be able to control it as an adult ur friends have done nothing to u.face ur own life

    I hope plp can learn from this, that we sometime push people to be jealous of us, try to be sensitive to the plight of the people around u and reduce the unnecessary showing off.

  64. bimpy76@gmail.com'

    stone's hottie

    November 13, 2015 at 9:37 pm

    I think it’s quite insensitive of your friend to act the way they do around you. However, all that glitters is not gold and I can assure you that there’s a high possibility that they are going through stuffs you don’t even know about. My candid advice to you is to be happy for them and purge your heart of envy. Keep hoping and trusting in God, He’ll surely sort you out. All the best.

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