Everyday Living

This May Be The Weirdest Engagement List You Have Ever Seen

   

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Some weeks ago, I went to my family house to chill for the week end and also to eat enough good food since I only had garri at home. When I got home I meet my mum all dressed up for a party, I quickly asked her where she was going and she replied saying, “remember Seun that just got back from US nah”, I nodded like an agama lizard, she continued, “we are going to do his introduction and collect marriage list from that girl’s family he meet on Facebook”. I decided to follow her.

When we got to the house, we were greeted by a very thin looking girl who was smiling like a clown; I later learnt she was a younger sister to the bride to be.

We got inside the house and saw an elderly man wearing a brown singlet that has turned into a shimi on his body, in fact everyone was sheepishly smiling in that house…….

After all the greetings and introduction we were handed the list in an envelope and in the absence of no other thing to talk about, we promised to get back to them and then we left.

While we were inside the car heading home my mum opened the envelope and few seconds later, she started screaming while waving the envelope towards me.  I thought something was wrong with her until I collected the paper in the envelope and my heartbeat paused for a second……there was silence …..my ears were blocked……in fact I couldn’t read within me so  I read the following items out loud with my eyes wide open.

1. 7 male goats for the elders
2. 7 female goats for the old women.
3. 120 years of Nigeria Wax for her sisters.
4. 3 Apple Laptops.
5. 5 pieces of bold 6 blackberries.
6. 50 liters of petrol.
7. A white bicycle for her uncle.
8. 200 pairs of bathroom slippers for the villagers.
9. 5 trip of sand and 20 bags of dangote cement.

The listed items were up to 50.  I got a call yesterday saying my uncle is on his way back to the US……According to him (in his American accent),  “WTF!!!  they wanna suck me dry!”.

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