Are Nigerian Men Unromantic, Especially After ‘I Do”?



Read more interesting relationship articles by Seyi Obasi on her column on Woman.NGBefore & After

I have a dream…….

That one day, all Nigerian men will be truly deeply crazily romantic.

I have a dream……..

That one day, Nigerian married couples will hold hands while walking on the street.

I have a dream…….

That one day Nigerian men will regularly call their wives in the middle of the day to simply say, ‘I love you.

I have a dream………

Seyi, did you see my blue shirt?’ my husband’s voice woke me up from my dream.

How unromantic!

What happened to ‘darling’, ‘sweetheart’ and ‘pumpkin’?

Okay, so am I alone in thinking this or are Nigerian men truly so unromantic?

I have discussed with several friends who confess that every semblance of ‘romantisism’ seems to have flown out of the sitting room window since they walked down the aisles with their husbands.

Most claim that their husbands call them by their biological names, hardly tell them they love them and have no idea that foreplay starts in the morning and not three minutes before the ‘show’.

Why is this so?

If you have ever been in the airport or train stations abroad where couples are saying their goodbyes, you would understand what I mean. While couples abroad exchange kisses and hugs at the point of saying goodbye, the story with Nigerian couples is completely different.

The man simply says, ‘Mama Ijeoma, take care of the house and the children o’, without as much as a peck on her cheeks. Haba!

Okay if you say that is asking for too much, how many Nigerian women can boast of ever having the car door opened for her by her hubby on a regular basis, or having her feet lovingly rubbed after a hard day at work?

Am I asking too many questions or am I being unrealistic here?

Are Nigerian men any different from men from the western world? Is it a matter of our culture and beliefs? Or are the men here so preoccupied with making ends meet that romance is the last thing on their minds? Or have Nigerian men being trained not to show weakness (as if being romantic is synonymous with weakness).

It really confuses me.

Maybe one of the conditions for marriage should be an undertaking that the men will remain romantic even in marriage……but is that feasible?

I have heard some men claim that Nigerian ladies too are equally unromantic, so why all the noise about Nigerian men being unromantic?

The way I see it, we all need to look at this romance thing again. Maybe like everything else in Nigeria, romance too needs a re-orientation.

Who knows?

Maybe one day, my dreams will actually be actualised.

So what do you think? Are Nigerian men (and women for that matter) romantic or not?

You know what to do: use the comment box below and speak your mind.


Writer – Seyi’s bestselling prayer book, praying and confessing the scriptures for your children, has helped many mothers pray and confess relevant scriptures about their children, and has changed the direction of a lot of children. Grab a copy of the EBook here.

Read more interesting relationship articles by Seyi Obasi on her column on Woman.NG – Before & After

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