It Happened To Me

My Affair With A Guy From Political Twitter

   

phone

One evening, after an unsuccessful boyfriend hunt, I was having a Twitter conversation with a follower while snippets of other conversations were popping up on my timeline.

Someone re-tweeted this good looking guy and I when I enlarged his avatar, I became hypnotised. An hour later, I was still on his timeline trying to deduce his personality from his tweets. He happens to be a staunch member of political/intellectual twitter.

I needed him to follow me without me having to roll on the expressway from Mile2 to Badagry, pleading for a follow back. I was not ready to fill Twitter Form 01 either.

Luckily, there was a heavy criticism of one of Jonathan’s numerous policies on twitter that day, with the help of my current affairs handbook, I virtually tweeted on everything that had PDP in its sentence.

When I was done, I followed him immediately and replied one of his political tweets with “That awkward moment GEJ takes off his hat and we behold a coconut! “See what I did? Don’t forget you need to present a certificate of disapproval for GEJ before you are inducted into political twitter.

At this point, I’d like to give my friend a name. Let’s call him Obasanjo.

I re-tweeted several of his tweets and then proceeded to post “If Nigeria ever needs a commoner as president. A perspicacious person like @Obasanjo fits the bill.”

Did you see how I sounded stupid in a clever way?

Next thing –  a follow back from Obasanjo.

Hoho! I went crazy

Who cares about politics? My ultimate plan was to go on a date with Obasanjo, the political tweeter. An overlord.

In order not to be termed ‘desperate’,  I waited for 48 hours, one of the longest 48 hours of my life before sending him a DM.
Yes ladies, it’s okay to DM a guy first, the content of your DM is what matters.

If I can remember vividly, this is how it began…

Me: Hi Obasanjo?
Me: I’m writing a paper and I’d appreciate your well versed knowledge on Nigeria’s political scene.
Obj: Hit
Me: Do you think the house of reps are guilty of parliamentary dictatorship?
*Long Pause*

May God forgive me for being such a crook.

Obj: erm…that’s a tough one. 140 characters are not suffice for an answer.
Me: You are so handsome…

I can swear I didn’t know when my fingers typed that. Hell hath no fury like a desperate single woman ‘in like’.

There was no reply for ten minutes and I had to keep refreshing his timeline to be certain he was not ignoring me.
Next thing, a re-tweet from one of those useless relationship accounts popped on his TL.
These were not the exact words but the message was;

‘Any man that does have a crush on Nicki Minaj is gay.’

Knowing I don’t bear any semblance to Nicki Minaj, I quickly sent another DM.

Me: *No homo*☹
Obj: What else do you do you do apart from being smart and funny? Let’s hear how you sound on phone.

The weeks that followed after that convo, I became less active on twitter except during my DM sessions with Obasanjo because I could no longer post my razz tweets.
I had exhausted my current affairs leaflet, I had listed ChannelsTV, Nigerianewsdesk & Sahara Reporters, and I spent my nights studying Elrufai’s tweets. At a point, all I did was low key steal Omojuwa’s tweets to remain relevant on political twitter.

Take it from me guys, being a struggling member of political twitter isn’t easy.

Two months after, my twitter hustle paid off. I was on my way to a 5 star restaurant to have dinner with Obasanjo.
“You better order pancakes and coffee.” My friend teased me.

I stepped into the restaurant…

Yes, this is one of my boyfriend hunting adventures that comes with an almost happy ending. Obasanjo liked me a whole lot but hey, he was (is) engaged. So, I had to let him slide back to the follower zone.

If you are ‘trying’ to join political twitter or there’s a guy you are probably crushing on from political twitter, you can follow my strategy. Hopefully, yours doesn’t turn out wearing an engagement band.

Promote your business to Nigerian women. Put your Text AD here.

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

One of our favourite quotes at Woman.NG is a line from Emeli Sande’s Read All About It; “If you’ve got the heart of a lion, why let your voice be tamed?” This has inspired us to publish Nigerian women’s take on about everything. From conceiving a child to burying an old loved one and every life experience in between them - Nigerian women’s stories, opinions, issues, debates, advice, news etc. Read More >>

For Adverts & Enquiries:

- Product Reviews
- Pre & Post Event Publicity
- Sponsored posts
- Advert and Promotions
- Partnerships
- General Enquiries
Email: info@woman.ng
08177780045

Contact Us

Do you have a question for our editors?
Want your personal stories or opinions to be published on woman.ng?
Think you have what it takes to work with us?
Want to advertise your products or services on woman.ng?

Please contact us: info@woman.ng

Copyright © 2015 Woman.NG. Designed by Soft Runner

To Top