Real Women Real Issues

Help! My Parents Are Ripping Me Off!


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Today, a young woman share with us her dissatisfaction with her parents’ attitude towards her money.


I grew up in a poor family, my mother has been a housewife since she got married (and I always wonder why she chose to be) and my father was a civil servant until he was retired some time ago.  I am the first of four children and we have never ever had enough to meet our basic needs.

I graduated from a polytechnic after years of struggling and doing odd jobs to finance myself, and after walking the streets of Lagos looking for job everywhere and anywhere I finally got a fairly decent one as an administrative assistant in an accounting firm. The salary is not anything to brag about, but it is at least better than nothing. I also sell cheap women underwear for some extra cash.

My problem is that since I got this job my parents have handed over their financial responsibilities to me, I pay the bills , I give them money for the family upkeep, I pay their debts and take care of my siblings, my salary doesn’t last a day!.

I love my siblings and hate to see them drop out of school or go astray. My immediate younger sister recently started going out with an old married but rich man to get money, because the financial burden is just too much. The funny thing is that my mother is closing her eyes to it; she says if my sister is able to marry one of the rich men, things will change for us.

My last boyfriend left me when my parents started making heavy financial demands on him too, despite the fact that he gave my mother money to start a small business twice. She spent the money and never started a business.

My life is practically on a hold, I can’t save to do any meaningful for myself, I can’t even afford to buy nice things for myself because my mother will say I am being selfish. My mother always manipulate  me emotionally by saying they have done their bit by raising me up that now it’s time for me to take care of them too.

Both of them are less than 55 years old, and sometimes I wonder why they haven’t worked hard enough to cater for us and for themselves. They are so laid back and not ready to go out and rough things out to make a living for the family, they prefer to go around borrowing and wait till their children make money to take care of them.

Some of my friends are also experiencing the same thing, even those with working parents, many parents think that once a child starts working the child has to repay them all they have done to raise him/her up it doesn’t matter if the child is still struggling or not.

Honestly I am so exhausted and tired of all these, I don’t know how to make things better.


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