Self Development

If They Could See Your Scars, Will They See You?


Woman meditation at sunset

Growing up, I completely disliked playing rough, I would always try to ensure that I played without running or jumping to avoid getting any scars and if I did, I will hope and pray hard that they disappeared as quickly as they came.

I was successful for the most part in my pursuit for a scar free body until one fateful day, I decided to ride a bicycle on gravel at a family friend’s house and there it was after falling off the bicycle, a cut on my knee that required a pair of scissors, bandages, and antiseptics. I can barely see the scar now, but I have the memories of me falling off that bicycle, crying and wishing it never happened, especially because I had tried so hard to be careful.

As we grow older however, we carry different types of scars arising from experiences, actions or inaction, interactions, what someone said or did not say, what someone did or did not do, death of a loved one, illness, a lost job, a general loss of direction or purpose in life, family struggles, abuse in one form or the other, rejection, sadness, depression, divorce, hopelessness and perhaps, a general dampening in the zeal for life.

Although these scars are not visible, they have a way of shaping us in one form or the other; it could be a change in the way we view or interact with people, a decline in our trust in God, a shift in the way we open ourselves up to people, a desire not to live, a contemplation to harm oneself and the list goes on.

While scars are as a result of events that might have happened in the past or as a result of something you are currently going through, if not properly handled or revisited, can lead to dire consequences. So while people looking in from the outside cannot necessarily see your scars, don’t leave them unattended. They do not disappear as quickly as they have appeared. Sometimes, it lingers on and can cause greater harm in the future than in the present.

You don’t have to wear your scars around on a sleeve, permitting it to take control of you or allowing it to define who you are and who you could be.

Ride on the waves of your experiences and become a better you through it all!

If they could see your scars, will they see you?


Writer: Toluwalola Kasali blogs at

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