Real Women Real Issues

Can Separate Bedrooms Make This Couple Happier?


By Amaka

Most of the conflicts I have had with my husband of five years have been centered on our shared bedroom. He rarely sleeps well and he is constantly fatigued due to lack of good sleep because I snore and I am really restless when sleeping. I go to pee many times during the night, no matter how careful I tip toe, it affects his sleep. He sleeps still and loves perfect silence when sleeping. I love it pitch dark, he loves the bathroom light on to give a reflection to the room. We have tried so many things to make things better but they haven’t worked. We both do physically demanding jobs during the day so having a good sleep in a restful room is important.

Sleep isn’t the only problem, everything else about the room, from lightning, temperature, beddings, and colours; to arrangement and keeping it tidy causes hot arguments.

I recently read a piece by a woman who shared how they saved a marriage on the verge on divorce by separating rooms and allowing each other to have the kind of bedrooms that will help them be themselves.

We are considering that too, though it is against everything I have learned about marriage, but the truth is that having the same bedroom is putting a lot of strain on our relationship right now. It isn’t helping intimacy either.

Just wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this kind of issue and what other women have to say about separating rooms.

Thanks for reading , please share before you go






    November 1, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    As I say most of the time, to each his/her own.

    I also don’t dig the idea of separate bedrooms, but in this case, I think its advisable to consider that option. Its better to have a happy marriage with separate rooms than an unhappy one in the same room



    November 1, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    I personally believe there is no rule that says you must sleep together in the same room in marriage, a lot of people get scared when they hear issues like this but its really what you say it is. separate rooms should not affect your marriage as much as sleeping together is. in fact lack of sleep causes more stress in our day to day activities than we are aware of. i think you can make sleeping apart work and occasionally you can sleep together if need be, it just depends on how both of you handle the situation. Good luck



    April 3, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    My parents had separate rooms while we were growing up. Momsy was a stay-at-home mom and her room usually had an extra bed for the toddler at the time and a cot for the latest baby. There was always cause to go in there to look for something or other and we always left it in a state. Her room was also the storage space for all sorts of kids’ stuff. Popsy of course didn’t want to be bothered with all our wahala. He worked hard all day and least he could ask for was some peace and quiet in his own space.

    It was never an issue between them. That was just the way it was. After we’d all grown up though, momsy went back to work and they both moved back in together.

    No issues at all!

    This couple might consider having separate rooms just so they don’t grow apart with all the bickereing and quarelling staying in the same room brings.

    My 2cents. 🙂



    April 17, 2013 at 9:37 am

    well,i think in this case,to avoid quarrels this couple needs to have separate rooms,i do not think it will be a problem rather it will bring them more closer and everyone will be happy,in fact,they could tease themselves on the issue with time and it could be fun for them if they love themselves real,its better to be in separate rooms and maintain peace than to struggle argue in one room together and live in despise …….that’s my two cents, thank you!

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