This Is What Money Has To Do With Love



Money plays an important role in marriage, and an overwhelming financial stress can create strains that affect the expression of our love, not always because we want to be materialistic or selfish, but because we innately desire an all round stability in our relationships. The extent we can go to meet this need and the maturity at handling associated issues however differs.

The question to ask is, “There may not be the desired financial buoyancy now, but is there love, teamwork, focus, determination and hard work towards success?” If you think your relationship is worth rescuing from the claws of financial tension, here are five recommended ways you can work it out;

Be On The Same Page: Communicate clearly to each other about your fears and concerns for your finances and together analyze your financial situation and agree on the financial future you want for yourselves. It is important that you both understand each other’s financial expectations.

Have a Plan: Strategize on how you want to achieve your financial dreams, don’t just wish and desire, you need to map out a practical and realistic way for you to make enough money for the kind of life you desire and to stay out of debt. Devise ways that can work best for you. For example, you can decide to do a professional course that will give you a better chance at getting a better job, or you may decide to relocate to another state where you can have better job prospects, or even start a business.

Make No Room For The Lazy One: It could be really frustrating to have a laid back partner who isn’t giving 100% commitment to your financial future. You both have to get out of your comfort zones and take actions to make your dreams become reality, discuss and agree on what each person’s contribution to your financial success would be and be committed to it.

Don’t Bite More Than You Can Chew: You will need to curb unnecessary spending, and together set financial priorities, make periodic budgets and stick to it. Don’t accumulate debts and put your financial future in jeopardy because you want to keep up with The Jones’. What is more important at every point in time? Ask yourselves important questions, be realistic and stay on course.

Let The Owl Do The Night Watch: While both of you should be actively involved in your financial decisions, it is important to let the person who is more competent at handling it take charge. Don’t take it up if you are not disciplined with spending or if you find it difficult to keep account and balance the sheets.

Stick Together: Through the tension that financial stress can bring on marriage it is important that you stick together and work things out as a team. Believing in each other and in your future together will give you the strength you need to make things work.

When Lost Ask For Directions: Don’t hesitate to seek professional help and counsel when you think you need to. Remember you are not alone in this situation, there are couples who have been in and out of the financial mess you are. Don’t go through life trying to patch things up when you can get people to help you out. No matter what you are experiencing you can find help somewhere. Never wait till when the situation eats you up and gets out of control before you call out for help, it might be too late. Take the bull by the horn, be equipped with the right knowledge and support from people who know about it. You don’t have answers to everything.

Stick Together: Through the tension that financial stress can bring on marriage it is important that you stick together and work things out as a team. Believing in each other and in your future together will give you the strength you need to make things work.


Image credit: Getty Images

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    August 24, 2010 at 11:04 am

    nice 1. nice 1. nice 1. i had my pen and paper and i took in every point.
    nice 1. nice 1. nice 1.



    August 30, 2010 at 5:47 am

    this is essential , thanks sis.



    September 2, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    I tell you…this is truth be told!!!


    bolaji oguntimehin

    September 2, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    lovely! this article will help me in so many ways!



    September 2, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    This is so true, and I like the pointers at the end.



    September 2, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    This is realy what we need cos the demand for money places a question mark on love.


    Bisi Oluyede

    September 2, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    Hmmmm what has money got to do with it? let’s just say a lot!lol
    My sister has a way of putting it!
    She says money helps express love better…hmmm So like if love is the wheel,money helps grease the wheel to prevent friction!
    Great pointers!


    Mrs. Stewart

    September 3, 2010 at 7:54 am

    Well written, detailed and precise.



    September 3, 2010 at 10:40 am

    Great one here,this serves as a reminder for me. i love the ” let the OWL do the night watch” thing.
    Great write up, keep it up sista.



    September 7, 2010 at 9:01 am

    Nice one…….thanx



    September 9, 2010 at 4:27 am

    9ce 1 thx.No Money,No Honey!!!


    Unyime-Ivy King

    September 9, 2010 at 9:24 am

    This is a nice one. Indeed, money is a sine qua non in marriage but not every one starts out with money. Girls out there need to know that the first thing they should look for in a man they are considering for marriage should not be money. Is he a man with a vision? Is he God fearing and walks his talk? Is he strong in his faith?Is he hardworking and willing to take risks? Does he have a mentor he listens to, or is he the Lord of his life? A hardworking man of faith, with a vision for tomorrow, will make it eventually-God is not unjust.

    A lot of times, money troubles arise, when the women-no insults intended-begin to compare themselves to others, and want to have what others have, instead of cutting their coats according to their cloth, and like the article above rightly points out, they begin to feel the pressure to be like others. Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor used to say, “When you see the glory, ask for the story!” You can not tell how much and how long it took some people to have the money and material things that they have today, to spend and enjoy. Some spent some years, toiling, laboring, and sewing. It was not an over night thing. People grow at a different rate financially. My mantra when it comes to finances is that, what you do not have today, you will get tomorrow as long as there is life and you are not a lazy person, ‘cos, there is no food for the lazy man.

    I say this with the benefit of hindsight because, i started out 8 years ago, married to a man, who had no penny to his name and all hell broke loose on every side because a lot of people felt i was nuts to take that decision. The story is different today because, i dared to be different by not succumbing to pressure and believe me, we faced pressures that would write a whole book. Today, we are better off, and though we have not arrived financially, we are not where we used to be.
    So, ladies, money is really important, but it should not be the most important consideration in choosing a partner, and it should not be allowed to cause problems in your marriage. Join with your hubby to push and you will most certainly get there and study the points in the article above-really useful.


    Unyime-Ivy King

    September 9, 2010 at 9:33 am

    Sowing, i meant to type-not sewing.

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    February 9, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    eye opener for me.

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