Do you or do you know somebody that wants to share a real life personal story in our IT HAPPENED TO ME column? Please send the story via email to firstname.lastname@example.org (Identity will not be revealed if you wish!)
I have been married for about five years and we have a pretty good sex life. He enjoys, I enjoy it and we have it fairly often. There is however something about me and sex that he doesn’t really know, to be honest, I have never discussed it with anyone. It doesn’t happen all the time, but I experience it quite often.
I feel awfully sad after sex, I don’t want a cuddle or pillow talks, no matter how great the sex was, I just want to roll over and be alone.
He doesn’t understand but he has come to accept it, so after sex he will always ask if I want to be held or be alone.
In the early days of our marriage, he used to feel bad that maybe he didn’t do something right or wasn’t sensitive to my needs during sex. I told him it has nothing to do with him.
This is why I find it hard to let him know the full extent of what I feel, so I hide it from him as much as I can.
Sometimes I shed tears for no reason, sometimes I just feel so sad after. If it is a night sex, I usually would feel better by morning, if it is day sex, the feeling may linger for some hours before it leaves.
Recently I decided to check if it has ever happened to other women, I came across the word Post-Coital Dysphoria or post-coital tristesse.
It is described as the feeling of sadness, anxiety, depression, restlessness, regret and irritability after sexual intercourse and it happens to ten percent of women. So I am not alone!
Some women experience it due to hormonal shifts after orgasm, some experience it because they have some deep rooted emotional issues with their partners.
Unfortunately I haven’t found any straight forward solutions but I feel a lot better knowing more about what I have been experiencing, hopefully I will find one someday.
Have you ever experienced this? Share your story with me in the comment section.