Open Letter

An Open Letter To My Colleague Who Said I Can’t Call Her By Name Because She Is Married And I Am Not



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Dear Married Colleague,

It was my first day at work as the Admin manager and the HR took me round to introduce me to everyone. I tried my best to memorize as many names as I could while smiling and being all round pleasant.

I was brought to your office; there were three of you in there. You guys are the marketing department. The other two smiled and said they liked my makeup.

You looked up from your computer and asked where I was working before, I told you and you said okay.

Later in the afternoon, I saw you in the Kitchen, “you are Tomi, right?” I asked as I wondered if I got the name right. “Mrs Ojo”, you said.

SEE ALSO: An Open Letter To The Woman Who Bashed My Car And Ran Away

I didn’t get what you said, so I asked that you say it again, then you said with irritation, “I am Mrs Ojo to you, I won’t appreciate you calling me by name, I am a married woman” 

I was baffled by what you said, but I maintained my cool and determined to stay out of your way.

Throughout that week, I tried to observe what other women in the office called you. They all called you by your first name; you didn’t seem to mind, perhaps because they are all married.

In my second week, you came to me to report a driver who didn’t obey your instructions; you called me by my first name and spoke to me so condescendingly as if you were talking to your maid.

You called me by my own first name but you do not want me to call you by your first name? Just because you are married?

Still I kept my cool; it was my second week at work so no point raising any dust.

While clearing some of the documents left in the drawers by my predecessor, I saw passport pages of some staff members; apparently she used them to book flights sometime ago. I saw your passport page, I saw your age. I am four years older than you.

I was so mad that I had taken bullshit twice from you and I was determined to forever call you by your first name and see if you will die because of that.

Unfortunately you did not come to work that day, or the next, or the day after the next. When I asked your colleagues they said you had resigned and the day you came to shout on me about the driver was actually your last.

I felt pained because you escaped the pepper I was going to show you.

In case you are reading this, I want you to know that you are a very insecure woman who suffers from low self esteem if you think you are superior to other women just because you are married.

I hope to see you again one day, I will so shout your first name loud and clear and see if the earth will quake because you are a married woman.





  1. Erus Onome

    Erus Onome

    November 2, 2016 at 8:53 am

    Lol…. Smiles…. So funny how some of this young married women carry the title…. As for me ooo, is the way u treat me, that I will treat u in return…and bcoz of slim body n deceiving baby face, I don’t go abt calling women aunty, bcoz 90% of the women out there look older than there age, before u start calling someone u are 10yrs older than aunty n she wil smash ur name on the ground as if she gave birth to u… Respect is reciprocal…. Age is nothing actually, is the maturity behind the age that matters. I hope u see her. Lol.

    • Ofulue Gloria

      Ofulue Gloria

      November 2, 2016 at 11:58 am

      Thanks a million times. You gave a voice to my thoughts.

    • Erus Onome

      Erus Onome

      November 2, 2016 at 11:59 am

      Ofulue Gloria u are very much welcome….

  2. Tina Manuel

    Tina Manuel

    November 2, 2016 at 9:45 am

    She was wrong by giving you such a cold reception though but You should address people the way they want to be addressed. Calling her a Mrs don’t mean she’s older.

  3. Chidinma Mbanaso Obi

    Chidinma Mbanaso Obi

    November 2, 2016 at 10:04 am


  4. Mary Ifeobu

    Mary Ifeobu

    November 2, 2016 at 10:34 am

    Laughing out loud. Wonder they say never ends

  5. Ogo Lily Okafor

    Ogo Lily Okafor

    November 2, 2016 at 10:44 am

    Who Mrs title help?

  6. Ogo Lily Okafor

    Ogo Lily Okafor

    November 2, 2016 at 10:45 am

    They should carry the Mrs title like a placard on their chest nah. Lol

  7. Ogo Lily Okafor

    Ogo Lily Okafor

    November 2, 2016 at 10:48 am

    But courtesy demands that you address people the way they want you to address them.

    • Olufunmilola Oseni

      Olufunmilola Oseni

      November 2, 2016 at 7:59 pm

      Same demands you earn respect, you don’t Lord it over others. Especially when you don’t even know the person’s age

  8. Omolola Dawodu

    Omolola Dawodu

    November 2, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    Damilola Kehinde Akinbulu Ibidunni Johnson You girls need to read this piece. *clap hands in irritation* Yeye dey smell… osi

  9. Damilola Kehinde Akinbulu

    Damilola Kehinde Akinbulu

    November 2, 2016 at 3:32 pm

    There are actually a lot of ladies out there who feel being married is the best achievement and they look down on unmarried ladies irrespective of their age. Its so sad that some people are actually not mature enough to be called married. They need to do some growing up abeg! No be by marriage o sister!

  10. Olufunmilola Oseni

    Olufunmilola Oseni

    November 2, 2016 at 8:22 pm

    Wow! The funniest post i av ever read on this page. I think you should have just told her you preferred to be called miss… too and stand with ur shoulders high to correct her in case she acts otherwise.

  11. OluchiChristy Uche

    OluchiChristy Uche

    November 2, 2016 at 8:39 pm

    Mmmmmm….. Respect is reciprocal.

  12. Bolaji Oguntimehin Akwaji

    Bolaji Oguntimehin Akwaji

    November 3, 2016 at 6:30 am

    I look very young for my age, and ppl disrespect me a lot, but what can i do, i dont shout in the air that im married, with kids,i just let them find out themselves and i end up having the sly smile in the end, as for the Mrs Title, i don’t really care what you call me, we are colleagues for goodness sake!

  13. Esquise Shantelle

    Esquise Shantelle

    November 4, 2016 at 1:06 pm

    Jailys Locoh-covi vien vr les choz des gens

    • Jailys Locoh-covi

      Jailys Locoh-covi

      November 4, 2016 at 1:56 pm

      Like seriously? Mrs Ojo, tchruuu cest ca qui me nourrie?mtchewww
      Donc dans affaire de Madame là, les gens ne se sentent plus koi.

    • Esquise Shantelle

      Esquise Shantelle

      November 4, 2016 at 1:57 pm

      Jailys Locoh-covi jte di

    • Jailys Locoh-covi

      Jailys Locoh-covi

      November 4, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      Pitié de nous autres alors, les mademoiselle.😂



    November 15, 2016 at 4:09 pm

    Some women are just plain crazy, crazy I tell yah.

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  16. Onuorah Amarachi

    Onuorah Amarachi

    May 3, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    I like this for real.. We work or school in the same place and you taking it like its a family thing where everyone needs to start respecting you more than anyone else because you are married? There are alot of young married people and I don’t think marriage has anything to do with how I should address anyone at work or anywhere else.. I would definitely respect you if you respect me and respect yourself

  17. Okaekwu Ozioma

    Okaekwu Ozioma

    May 3, 2017 at 4:39 pm

    Respect is reciprocal

  18. Osinmade Adetutu

    Osinmade Adetutu

    May 3, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    Vivian Alyssa

  19. Ishaku Ruth

    Ishaku Ruth

    May 3, 2017 at 7:38 pm

    Well said, this marriage thing. “Respect ” u earn it u can not buy it

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