Written by Olushola Pacheco
I had an argument with someone early yesterday morning. We talked about Toke’s book and the whole concept of a tell all. Why should she write a tell all about her marriage bla bla bla?… At some point, I used a few choice words, and I have been thinking about it from both sides ever since.
I am yet to meet Toke personally, but she has been helpful with links the few times I asked; in fact I even owe her an apology for being a no show for an arranged pick up of something from London. So here’s my take! Will I buy her book? Yes! Not because there’s juicy gist everyone seems to want to know; in fact, I know a few women who need to walk away from emotionally damaging relationships. If one woman gets the courage to walk away or one man steps up to do better then her book served a purpose.
I personally experienced what it felt like to love someone passionately enough to keep bending, to be physically abused and still say sorry because someone felt smacking you around made him the traditional man who needed to always be right. To hear them say, no one will want you if I ever left you. (You carry that in your head wondering if you will ever be good enough for anyone, especially with rejections) To have him cheat multiple times, yet my hatred was with the women who owed me no loyalty instead of him. Women have been conditioned to man up and take emotional abuse like pros.
Thankfully, I found me a best friend on my worst day almost 10years now. He cheered me on all the way, became a confidence booster and just never forgot to tell me how awesome and happy he would be walking me down the Isle to the arms of a REAL Man. Not many women get that kind of friendship.
They get a brave woman who steps up to share her side of the story in order to liberate another sister. Toke might not always be right, you might not like her vlogs and opinions – but even a broken clock is right twice in every 24hours. Broken crayons still colour.
Writer – Olushola Pacheco is a business graduate from the University of Wales. She is the Founder of Whoot Africa. Whoot Africa tells inspirational African success stories.
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