Our beloved mothers usually emphasise good food as the way to a man’s heart and generally, a fine and stern advice, given to a daughter before she leaves for her new home. However, they might have left out one other crucial piece, good and regular sex.
So, few years into the marriage, I found myself in deep water because I couldn’t understand my husband’s sexual appetite. Therefore I took it upon myself to keep up and wondered how to feel or get sexy.
Men, by nature, are aroused by what they see. Be it food, football or reigniting old friendships, and sex is not any different. They’re intrigued by the sight of beautiful women. Some fantasise about intense moments and hope to materialise their wild thoughts. Such is their genetic makeup and one we might have to contend with.
Initially, I was quite reluctant to play ball and sought ways to avoid my husband. It was only a matter of time before I had to keep my side of the bargain. I enjoyed making love but usually felt tired from other responsibilities.
The issue was beginning to drive a wedge between us, and I was yet to identify the cause; until I discovered a few tricks. These tricks began to rekindle some passion and honestly, they weren’t anything out of the ordinary.
Talking is a huge plus
Some women prefer not to discuss their sexual preference as they feel their spouses might frown at their obscene utterances. Therefore, whenever we were alone; I couldn’t share my kinky desires because I felt he would question what he married. But in hindsight, I had held back on what he was quite elated to hear. I learned to say what, when and how much I liked it, and he did same. Then the tempo gained momentum.
Also, having had children, I struggled to appreciate certain parts of my body especially the ‘boobies’ which now lacked some natural firmness. Soon, I began to feel very unattractive. I hadn’t discovered the beauty in striking, seductive but comfortable lingerie until I invested in a few. I realised the right type of sexy lingerie helped, as it provided the much-needed lift and sculptured my body into an attractive shape. Everything is packaging my dear and no one besides your spouse, needs to see or know your secret.
Initially, I preferred sex as an after dark tangle because it seemed like the most appropriate setting. I was so wrong! We ventured into different types of frisky foreplay and raunchy styles of intercourse with fewer restrictions to the bedroom. Even the occasional ‘quickie’ before daybreak was another vivacious way of starting the day and this made me feel calm and happy as the day unfolded. How?
The estrogen which is increased by orgasm, is to thank for this. Also cortisol, the main stress hormone is lowered by the release of oxytocin which is also triggered by orgasm. Hence breakfast and a little ‘something-something’ became a pleasant combo.
Now the cat is out of the bag, and I hope my little story might help some other damsel in sensual distress.
Writer – Ngozika is an ardent writer with a knack for composing heartfelt but captivating articles. A master’s degree holder in Housing Management and Policy from the University of Greenwich. But above all, a joyful wife and thankfully, sane mother of two brilliant boys.