Personal Stories

“The Cane They Used To Flog First Wife Is Always At The Back Of The Door Waiting For The Second Wife” – Domestic Violence Survivor


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Earlier in the year, Nkiruka, a domestic violence survivor shared how she got married to an abusive man at just 19 and her hard journey to leaving the marriage to start a new life.

She wrote,
We were perfect , very perfect , outside but we fought inside .
You see that smile on that picture was plastic .
I was beaten to the alter on my wedding day .
What happened because I was tired and refused to pack plate .
I swallowed it and matched to the alter .
With tears In my eyes the pastor asked will you take him as your husband for better for worse , till death do you part?? Tears rolled down my eyes but the crowed clapped , screaming tears of joy .
I embarked on the journey of marriage .
At the age of 19 years I endured like a lion .
This fine young man here is an animal .
He beat me up and even beat up my younger once . The day he beat me to coma , he was beating my lifeless body before he was stopped and I was rushed to the hospital .
Do you know what my mother in law told me as I gained consciousness , she said (nkiru, lucky will beat you again o, get ready cause the father beat me too )
I went back in to coma .
He begged and I went back home .
This continued until I decided to face reality .
But the truth is , do you know why we women endure domestic violence ??? 1) financial security . Yes I was scared to leave because I did not know how to begin financially .
2) society .. Yes after bragging to my friends , and society see you as a lucky perfect girl you will want to keep it that way .
3) loneliness … Yes you are scared if u will find someone better . I was saying who will marry me again , with my boobs like this , stretch marks , milk was still coming out of my boobs as of then , my big tommy etc , I was insecure , so I stayed .
Until one day , I woke and took a strong decision to walk away .
And when I left I left with nothing .
I left empty handed and embarked of this journey .
I kept repeating my name , Nkiruka , Nkiruka , Nkiruka (my future is bigger ) until I reached my destination .
Now I can hit my chest and tell myself I took the right step, even tho I never knew where I was going”

Last week, Nkiruka, took to Instagram to advise women to be careful of marrying a man who has abused his former wife.

She said;
“The cane they use to flog first wife is always at the back of the door waiting for the 2nd wife.
Ladies learn to ask questions before you become his next…..Am happy she is feeling my pain and even worse”

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Danjuma Jerry

    Danjuma Jerry

    December 28, 2016 at 10:17 pm

    Are you for real

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