Being a Good Housewife Does Not Mean You Are A Good Wife


via instagram.com/sonialareinaa

A Good Woman. What is a definition of a good woman according to you?

What makes an Ideal Wife?

When you brag about a wife material matter you are like: She does all the house works. She cleans well. She dresses decently. She is quiet and she is very homely. Always in the kitchen.

A good housewife indeed. But does that automatically make her a good wife? Is a good housewife the same as a good wife?

But if all these housewife skills are the reason why a man predominantly decided to make you his wife, don’t you think he could as well go and marry one proper maid? Nothing you can do that she can’t.

I hear them saying: that is a way to take care of a man. Well…Is it? In that case everyone else could do your job, isn’t it? Then what makes you so irreplaceable in his life?

Marriage is a partnership on a project called Life. It does not take a nuclear science for you to know how to scrub bathroom well, but not everyone can be a good partner. By partner I mean someone who always got your back. Someone who will always push you out of your comfort zone in order for you to grow. A wise woman with vision and with a backup masterplan idea.

Good partner will catch you when you fall, encourage you when you are down and believe in you when you don’t even believe in yourself. When you have a magic in you to motivate him and feed him with positive energy and enthusiasm.
When you don’t only nag or point at his failures. When you don’t rub his mistakes in his face with “I told you so”. Instead of “what we gonna do now?” you got him with “I have a plan.” and “I got an idea”.

I truly believe that a woman is a blessing to a man. A special woman can help you grow into a billionaire and still grant you a peace of mind. And a wise man do listen to his woman, they don’t underestimate or discredit her.

Good relationship is the one where you mutually make each other better in every possible way. What does cooking or cleaning has to do with that?

I mean, if your woman can’t cook you can always hire a cook but who you going to “hire” if she can’t be your best friend and your partner in crime?

Again, I am talking from my life experience (clearly). For example, you can’t turn my husband on by being a passive housewife even though he is a true African man who was brought up to think that it should be a norm. But it just does not impress him. The truth is, nothing can really move him like ambition, seeing his woman all vibrant, positive thinking and acting like a goal getter.

But again I know, there are men whose ego just does not agree with an idea of having a woman who can equally participate in any other segment of their lives other then matters considering kitchen or bedroom. Anything more than that would make them feel like a less of a man. Such guys have a need to feel dominant and superior in every possible way over their women and opinionated women make them feel super intimidated. If you can handle such, go for it, but eheemm no be my portion.

Please do not get me wrong. I don’t think that woman should take over man’s role. I still like my man to be a man and me to feel like his woman. I just think that this whole “wife material=housewife” thing is way too overrated and cleaning and cooking skills is not what determines a woman’s worth and value.

But listen, a man that has my heart and makes me feel like the most important person in the world surely must have the best of me. If you make me feel like a Queen, through thick and thin, you deserve to be treated like a King everyday of your life.

I can do anything for my guy. And there is nothing I can’t do and whatever I decide to do I do it the best (yes I do), just that the difference is I won’t do it because I feel like I am under an obligation to prove that I am a “correct” woman or out of fear that someone would say that I am not, but because I want to see a smile on his face.

We are coming from different parts of the world so you can imagine that joy he feels when he comes home and there is egusi soup waiting. The whole magic of love is in doing things out of our way with a smile on our faces to make our loved ones happy (when mutual of course).

But what makes me irreplaceable in my husband’s life is not my kitchen skill. It’s the fact that his life changed from the moment we started our journey together. It marked a beginning of a whole another, brand NEW chapter of his life (and mine too).

He started growing and prospering. His life, career, spiritual and financial growth – everything went from 0 to 100.

No other woman ever had such an impact on his life and that is why I am his wife, not because I dress like a nun, sit in the house all day or pound yam until I faint.


Sonia Ogbonna is a Business Woman, Relationship Expert, Motivational Speaker and  Life Coach

Blog – ogbonnasonia.blogspot.com.ng

Instagram – instagram.com/sonialareinaa

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