Saying No To The “Endure It Syndrome”!


By Bae Diamond

You both loved each other, yes, you were so much in love with him. He was the only one who makes your world go round. You were fond of each other, and you could not imagine life without him. You blessed the day you met him, he was not perfect, but awesome in his own…..

You got married. This was your dream come true. Yes, you are now married to your beau. You had vowed to be with him, come rain, come sunshine… come all that the world may throw at you….

But then, things changed. It started with a smack, it degenerated to tappings, he uses his belt. No, I am not talking ‘the 50 shades of grey’, kinda beating, not the bedroom dominant-submissive# kinda thing…..

I am talking about real beating that ranges from slaps to punches, stamping, boxing and every form of abuse you have been receiving.

You kept quiet, he has apologized. He promised never to lay his hands on you anymore, except he wants to caress you…. He showed how remorseful he was…

Then, it happened again… this time you were the ‘cause’. He told you pushed him too far. He would not have done it again, if you had not called him names and if you had not…..

And just before you knew it, he violated you again, this time harder, you sustained bruises here and there. He was sorry, he did not know what came over him this time. He got you that thing you loved most, he appeased you with gifts, you let go. ‘He is human, isn’t he?’

You got to a point where you can no longer take it. You told his people, they apologized on his behalf, called him to reprimand him, and told you he would never try such again.

But then, it happened again and again and again, you reported to people… you have been told never to keep quiet on such issues. His people told you to endure, your parents told you to manage…they have given you out in marriage, you can’t bring shame to them by going back to their house. Your friends told you that you are even lucky, some girls would do anything to attain that married status you have. So, they advise you to stay for your kids. Your clergy told you to pray. The society expectation of you is to keep up with his ill treatment. You don’t want to be single mother, or separated mom, you dislike such label….

But you die every day, with his raging blows… You die daily from his consistent abuse….
Will you wait till you are beaten to death, before you realize you should have run?
Would you rather die from his constant beating, than live for your children?
Many have towed this path…. Many have endured it, till their last breath was taken. Do you know the percentage of women who die yearly as a result of domestic violence?


Writer – Bae Diamond is a writer, poet and avid reader (of books and minds) who blogs from a strategic point of view, enjoys a blend of coconut and pineapple juice and likes to travel at every opportunity. She blogs at www.baesdiary.blogspot.com

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  1. Victoria Harold Wilson

    Victoria Harold Wilson

    March 27, 2017 at 4:09 pm

    Hmmmmmm! #I_Can_Relate_With_This

  2. Balogun Sarah

    Balogun Sarah

    March 28, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    People will easily tell you to endure it in Africa most especially if kids are involved. And if u refused to ‘endure’ you will be given heart wrenching names.

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