It was sad news last weekend when we learned about the incident on the 3rd mainland bridge. We are all in shock and this sadly may just be a few of the many cases that ever makes the headlines. Life goes on but not just yet for the friends and family who will have so many unanswered questions to grapple with for the rest of their lives.
It’s tough for us all, we are all struggling with one issue or the other but we shouldn’t isolate ourselves and deal with our pain alone. For some, it’s a troubled marriage, others, it’s a child with special needs while many are knee-deep in debt or are simply wondering that their purpose in life is. Whatever you’re struggling with, help is available. Talk to a friend, talk to your spouse, talk to a colleague, talk to a professional counselor. Keeping a lot within isn’t sustainable.
The first step to getting help is accepting there is a problem, don’t live in denial and pretend all is well when it isn’t. Don’t numb your anger and anxieties with work, kids or vacation, get to the root of the issue and deal with it. Once you accept the fact that there is a problem, you are on your way to wellness.
Get help, don’t be deceived by all the glam and funfair on social media, people are struggling and they won’t share the full details. Don’t keep up with the Joneses. Why would people be willing to pay for over-the-counter medication for a headache but are hesitant to pay a professional counselor to help with their heartache?
What do you do with the help you’ve got is really up to you. You can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. If the advice you have received is to forgive an unfaithful spouse, live within your means or hire more carers for an ailing child, it will be a disservice to do otherwise. Praying and fasting is great but many times we need to take action to get out of the mess we’ve found ourselves.
We are very secretive, suspicious and superstitious, hence we don’t talk about our problems, we are afraid our gist will be out there and we will be unable to bear the shame and pain that comes with that. We don’t trust that talking to anyone will help anyway so we bottle up so much till we can no longer hold it anymore. What if your healing sat opposite you at lunch or beside you on the train and you walked away without taking a hold of it.
Women please don’t put unnecessary pressure on your spouses to sustain an ostentatious lifestyle, live below your means and avoid comparing yourself or competing with others. We are all running our different races and God is the final judge. We can’t live our lives to please people and we refuse to give up. Irrespective of what we are going through, this phase shall pass and we will come out victorious.