Marriage

“Your Marriage Can Work. Marriages Still Work. Do I Know What I’m Saying? Yes, I Do” – Sola Allyson

   




via instagram.com/solaallyson

To walk away or stay and make it work? Sometimes the absolutely right thing to do is to walk away from a marriage, and sometimes putting in more effort can make all the difference you need. It all depends on the situation and of course the two people involved.

Many women are at this point in their marriages and are not sure if they are making the right decision or not.

Gospel singer, Sola Allyson has some things to say about this from her own personal experience.

SEE ALSO: Shall We Talk About Funmi Iyanda And Other Nigerian Women Who Don’t Find Marriage Appealing?

See her posts below

Your marriage can work. Marriages still work. Do I know what I'm saying? Yes, I do. Your marriage can work. There are challenges. Both of you have baggages you brought in from childhood, from how your background shaped you, from the lies we learnt from the confusion in the world about how things should be, from dysfunctionalities of our world, I know, I identify with that. But, what I also know is that as long as both of you are ready to make some compromise, unlearn and relearn, be totally down with yourselves, be brutally honest (which hurts but helps), be humble enough to seek help about these things, it can work, and be sweet, and be enjoyable. I am not saying stay there and be bitter and be suffering so people would "respect" that you're sha married, NO! EXCEPT IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH, or one is not willing to make it work. Reflect deeply before you walk out. I know many older ones who have told me that they regret walking out of their marriages, that if they knew, they would have stayed to put in more work. Don't be deceived by the wealth and popularity of those who act like it doesn't matter. People cry in their closets, you know. What are you stubborn about? Your wife is not a property! She has her own destiny too. Support and help her to grow. Your husband cannot give you all you need, he has needs, emotions, too. Every marriage has issues, believe me. Especially now! The peculiarity of people who enjoy theirs is in their humility to seek help IF/WHEN they need it! Nobody knows it all! It's an issue of pride when you know something is wrong with you but you can't seek help because you don't want others to see that you need help! There's a thin line between man's ego and full-fledged pride. The Word admonishes us to seek help when we need in our relationships, talking about involving third parties and elders in sorting issues when you've tried and it's not working… Get help, prayerfully and sensitively though, as not all those who are in the "places of help" and "authorities" can give you healthy help! Marriages still work, believe. It is work, I know, but marriages still work! Yoo daa!!!

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2. Be wary of those who say they've never involved a third party in their marriage before and they've been married for long! It is not everything you hear from those you respect that are completely true! We always are learning. IF THEY'RE TRULY HAPPILY MARRIED, they must have got help directly or indirectly! Whether from books, listening to others, observing, unlearning, etc. Nobody know it all! Seek help when you need! That's fighting for your marriage, not physical fight. Dynamics of life! I believe a woman is attracted and stays attracted to a man who has vision, who is "powerful" over a vision and follows after it, who lives by principles, let her see you're passionate about a worthy vision even when you're small for now. She wants to look up to you for motivation, inspiration and leadership, not you bossing her but leading her, in love, understanding, pampering her, affectionately, with attention. And a man wants to know he has you! That you are indeed his own. Men need care too. They're soft too. Men are broken too. He wants to be cared for, too. Respected, admired, encouraged, honored, pampered sef. 😉 All these things are not enough, I am still learning too, a learner for life sef, but a smart one!😆 Study, learn your partner and know what works for your marriage. The dynamics are different from home to home. Your husband is not your daddy or your brother and your wife is not your "maami" or "sista mi". Focus on the other's needs. As we work on ourselves personally, in GODLY and not "google" values, do self improvement, self leadership, working to be more appealing in mind/body to the other, not saying "this is who I am" but making efforts to get better, concentrating on the little little things that make the big differences, being sensitive to the other's needs, trust me, look around, it always comes out great and beautiful! Before you take that step, think. Just think. Few years from now… The future.. Would you not say "if I knew…"? Every success in life is by putting in some work! But I'm saying work smart, seek help as you work along! Forget all the lies in the world today, marriages still work, believe me. May we all be Helped!

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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Ajike Henrietta

    Ajike Henrietta

    March 30, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    Don’t mind them…lie lie

    • Hannah Juliet Ugbobi

      Hannah Juliet Ugbobi

      March 31, 2017 at 10:28 am

      U mean she lied may b she didn’t knw wht she’s saying or wht,atleast explain wht u mean properly na

    • Ajike Henrietta

      Ajike Henrietta

      April 1, 2017 at 1:44 am

      Be wary of those……so l now said don’t mind them…..

  2. Faith Moses

    Faith Moses

    March 30, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    Lol

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