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Is Deception An Excuse For A Divorce?




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Claudia Trevithick – Creative Therapy

Martha met her husband on Facebook and their relationship felt like a whirlwind of sorts. Within six months, they were married. Martha resigned from her job in Port Harcourt to move in with her husband in Abuja. During their courtship, Martha never traveled to Abuja, her husband made all the trips to see her. A few of those trips were surprise visits while the others were planned. Martha’s husband had told her she was a doctor and she believed every word he said. Even his social media pages referred to him as a doctor.

She was shocked to realize when she moved in with him that neighbors thought he was a vet but really all he does is import dog food. Martha’s husband isn’t doing badly as he caters to the expat communities in Lagos, Abuja and Port Harcourt.  One day, his sister came around with ‘her two children’, they spent the weekend but she left the children behind. Martha’s husband mentions to her for the first time that these are his kids and he was deeply sorry for keeping this from her. Shocked and bewildered, Martha is considering a divorce barely four months after a lavish wedding celebration to her sweetheart.

Is deception an excuse for a divorce.  Was she desperate and in a race against time to get married and was unable to complete her investigation? He also didn’t want to lose her so he painted a picture, she was gullible. Sadly, many women who have had their fingers burnt are realizing too late that ‘not all that glitters’ on social media is ‘gold’ in reality. They wish they were single and lonely than being stuck in horrible relationships that could have been avoided. While engaged, if your partner puts unnecessary pressure on you to be someone you’re not or they pretend to have the perfect life, watch out, it might be a scam, a red flag for more troubles ahead.

Is deception an excuse for a divorce? I don’t think so. Then, every couple should have an excuse to ask for a divorce because we have all been deceived in one way or the other but in varying degrees though. If we knew our spouses would become who they are today, if we knew all we know now, we wouldn’t have been married or might not have married the same person. The pain of divorce is awful, your life never remains the same again. You can’t blame anyone for your decisions. You were mentally alert and aware of the consequences of your choices so now you are fully responsible.

Marriage isn’t an achievement but a huge responsibility. While marriage is a risk, it holds the potential to make or break you and take you on a completely different route in life.

 

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Edikan Ikotidem

    Edikan Ikotidem

    April 11, 2017 at 8:15 am

    It could be. In ds case, he had children outside the marriage of whom his wife never knew prior to the marriage. The marriage is voidable at d wife’s instance because of the deception.

  2. Al-madinah Al-munawwarah

    Al-madinah Al-munawwarah

    April 11, 2017 at 12:37 pm

    It is more than an excuse!

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