Personal Stories

Woman Narrates Why She Left Her Man At The Altar And How Many People Hate Her For It

   

Leaving a man at the altar is not something that is common in our society but this twitter user, @Bunmi_bum_bum claimed she did it to a man in 2015.

In a series of tweets, she revealed that she regrets hurting the man, but she just couldn’t go into a marriage that she knew she wasn’t going to be happy in.

She tweeted,

I left my man at the altar and now both his family and part of mine hate me – a thread…

It was a Saturday in November 2015. It was supposed to be my wedding day. But I was still unsure. I’d been pressured to say Yes. I was sad

Everyone was like: “You’re over 30; he’s okay, has a good job. What is your problem? Just go through with it!” My problem? I wasn’t happy!

He’d never hit me, but I just didn’t like him like that. I asked for time. Everyone said: “No! You agreed, you must go through with it!”

That morning, I was crying. My mother said it’s normal. I couldn’t accept that. I felt like I was being sent to a cage. I wasn’t happy!

All the fear and anxiety gave me running stomach. I locked myself in the bathroom. One hour; going on two. They said they’ll break the door.

11AM and we still hadn’t left the house for 10AM wedding. My dad asked me: Is there somebody else? I said no. He said: You want to shame us.

I lied then that I loved somebody else. There was nobody but I thought that would make them agree to cancel the wedding. They still refused.

By 11:30AM they were trying to force me into the car. My Dad’s elder sister, who had come from UK for the wedding, said: “Leave her alone!”

She said I had a right to change my mind. If I didn’t want to go through with it, then I shouldn’t. Still, some family members insulted me.

My Dad said I should leave his house. His sister said the house wasn’t his but their late father’s (my granddad). A big quarrel broke out.

My Dad now said I was the one to call my husband-to-be to tell him I’d changed my mind. I agreed. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Of course they were already in church. He didn’t wait for me to finish speaking. He cut the call. I couldn’t stop crying.

I’ve tried to explain that I wasn’t happy, but everybody still blames me. Some in my own family no longer speak to me. I keep to myself. End

I didn’t feel any spark in my heart for him. I was just being pressured left and right.

It’s my life. It means avoiding a LOT of people and places. I’m even incognito here.

3-4 months of doubt that everyone kept saying “It’s normally like that.” Never meant to do that to anyone. I just got too scared.

Like I said in another reply, everyone just chanted “Say Yes! Say Yes!” when he proposed at a public gathering. I was weak and I’m sorry.

I’ve been punished enough, I think. I lost my job; lost life-long friendships; I’ve had to change cities; still I’m afraid to show my face.

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Mosunmola Tope Shokunbi

    Mosunmola Tope Shokunbi

    May 27, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    My dear sometimes you need to take certain decisions and stand on it, it is well with you your family will come around sooner or later be strong

  2. Abigail Andrew

    Abigail Andrew

    May 27, 2017 at 2:49 pm

    Just live for you and nobody else. After the wedding they’ll all go to their respective houses. It’s you and him in the marriage, not you and everyone.

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