Personal Stories

Pamela Adie Talks About Her Family’s Reaction When She Told Them She Is A Lesbian




Once married to a man, Pamela felt she had to reveal her sexuality as she was no longer comfortable with her two-year-old marriage, so, she called it quits.

It’s being six years now that she told her loved ones, but the impact of her revelation can still be felt  in her family especially with her mother, who is yet to come to terms with it.

In this interview with Untold Facts, a discussion series that focuses on sexual health and rights in Nigeria, Pamela talks about the impact of “coming out of the closet” on her family.

SEE ALSO: Lawrencia Ameh Speaks On The Pains And Challenges Of Being A Lesbian In Nigeria


On her experience as a lesbian
When I came out, my family was shocked and angry to an extent. I did get married but of course, the marriage didn’t last very long because I eventually came out of the closet. When I did that, there were all sorts of opposition. Opposition from families, friends and everywhere.

My mom even thought I was possessed. She will bring priests to the house and try to cast out the demon. At the time I came out of the closet, I needed support. I expected that the reaction will be the same but I hoped in my mind that I would eventually receive some kind of support. I just needed to be told, “nothing is wrong with you, you’re still our daughter, we love you,” but I never got any of those messages from my mom. My dad was a bit more subtle. He still expressed love.

I felt hurt and imagine being rejected by your own family. For me, being rejected by my mom was even more traumatic because that’s someone that I really love and was hoping that the fact she loved me would actually take precedence over anything else but it didn’t.

My family and I are in the beginning of sorting out our issues though and I’m really hopeful and looking forward to what’s coming and having the opportunity to sit down and have a conversation and really talk things out. I’ve come to a place where I’ve accepted that I might never get acceptance from my mother and its okay but the best case scenario is having both parties come together to just have a conversation and to acknowledge faults and ask for pardon and starting over.

Watch the video below!

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  1. Ojediran Busola Fiwajomi

    Ojediran Busola Fiwajomi

    June 19, 2017 at 6:50 pm

    So you dey lick females Virginia,chai you try oo..i dey always credit guys who always do that….salvation is coming your way soon….who am I to judge you.

    • Ebi Vandam

      Ebi Vandam

      June 19, 2017 at 8:01 pm

      You already judged by saying salvation is coming her way soon.

      Judgement day will be interesting sha
      Let’s see if we will all be judged by our sexuality or by how we treated others.

    • Njide Nwanneka

      Njide Nwanneka

      June 19, 2017 at 8:40 pm


    • Chikezie Gloria

      Chikezie Gloria

      June 19, 2017 at 8:46 pm

      hahah.that moment u see some pple coment by suporting ,then u go know say na same gang lolz,well salvation wey busola talk no be judgement but na prayer of repentance cause d last time i check all this act ,na for sodom and gommorah dey exist and god destroy dat city were all this yamayama come dey spring up?hmm awon oyibo sha.well d BIBLE TALK AM,IF U KNOW YOUR BIBLE,E GO SET U FREE.CALL A SPADE A SPADE THIS IS ARRANT NONSENSE,DONT KNOW WHERR IN D BIBLE where EVE WAS SUCKING AND FUCKING A WOMAN OR ADAM BANGING A MANS ANUS.AWON OSHI

    • Chinonye Okwara Opeters

      Chinonye Okwara Opeters

      June 19, 2017 at 8:48 pm

      Ebi Vandam what are you saying gays n lesbians have already been condemn by the Bible, nobody is judging anybody the truth is always bitter.

    • Happy Samuel Efe

      Happy Samuel Efe

      June 19, 2017 at 9:24 pm


    • Paddy Abiola

      Paddy Abiola

      June 19, 2017 at 9:57 pm

    • Paddy Abiola

      Paddy Abiola

      June 19, 2017 at 9:58 pm


    • Paddy Abiola

      Paddy Abiola

      June 19, 2017 at 10:00 pm

      You are just being candid with your opinion👍

    • Adebola Cassie

      Adebola Cassie

      June 19, 2017 at 10:28 pm

      Live your life according to your own rules and let others live theirs.

    • Ojediran Busola Fiwajomi

      Ojediran Busola Fiwajomi

      June 19, 2017 at 10:32 pm

      Adebola,they should have kept it for themselves only,why bringing it on social media?

  2. Chikezie Gloria

    Chikezie Gloria

    June 19, 2017 at 7:16 pm

    so what do we learn from this post?

  3. Ajiri Okah-Avae

    Ajiri Okah-Avae

    June 19, 2017 at 7:34 pm

    What was the poor woman supposed to do?

  4. Ogonnaya Ibeogu Amamasi

    Ogonnaya Ibeogu Amamasi

    June 19, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    Hmmmm, please God! Take anything confusing like this far from me and my household

    • Balogun Omowumi Elizabeth

      Balogun Omowumi Elizabeth

      June 19, 2017 at 8:18 pm

      Amen oh and my house hold too ijn

    • Mauche Ishaya

      Mauche Ishaya

      June 19, 2017 at 8:22 pm

      Amen, yes you cannot hate or judge them but rejecting/ binding and casting is allowed…

    • Ewilems Queen

      Ewilems Queen

      June 20, 2017 at 1:12 am


    • Ogonnaya Ibeogu Amamasi

      Ogonnaya Ibeogu Amamasi

      June 20, 2017 at 12:40 pm

      Hmmm, yes we are all God’s children. But we are also with sin….Different varieties of sin. I personally think homosexuality is a sin except one ain’t Christian cos if i read my bible correctly, God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for this same reason.
      I’ll only not discriminate…i can work with them, be friends with them, show them love but i’ll definitely always pray for them, for God to set them aright. This gay thing is beyond me….

    • Franca Onazi Eze

      Franca Onazi Eze

      June 20, 2017 at 3:05 pm


    • Umeh Nkiru

      Umeh Nkiru

      June 20, 2017 at 5:37 pm


  5. Okwie Ifeorah

    Okwie Ifeorah

    June 19, 2017 at 7:42 pm

    Does it mean gay is now accepted in Nigeria? Na waa

  6. Egbokom Onyilo- Olaifa

    Egbokom Onyilo- Olaifa

    June 19, 2017 at 7:58 pm

    You go girl!!Pamela Adie you are one to watch.

  7. Balogun Omowumi Elizabeth

    Balogun Omowumi Elizabeth

    June 19, 2017 at 8:19 pm

    May the mercy of God find you!

  8. Ama-iruobe Ebi

    Ama-iruobe Ebi

    June 19, 2017 at 8:27 pm

    She loves u dats y she wants d best for u

  9. Tina Manuel

    Tina Manuel

    June 19, 2017 at 8:37 pm

    Your mum brought priests? Girl you’re lucky. My mama can only bring the priests to your burial after she must have killed you

    • Ogonnaya Ibeogu Amamasi

      Ogonnaya Ibeogu Amamasi

      June 19, 2017 at 8:41 pm


    • Chikezie Gloria

      Chikezie Gloria

      June 19, 2017 at 8:49 pm

      killed and dropped in d coffin.hahahahha

    • Tina Manuel

      Tina Manuel

      June 19, 2017 at 8:51 pm

      Chikezie Gloria oh! You know? 😂😂

    • Sylvia Omotoso

      Sylvia Omotoso

      June 19, 2017 at 8:57 pm

    • Betty Godson

      Betty Godson

      June 19, 2017 at 9:38 pm


    • Rita Ogechi Igbinedion

      Rita Ogechi Igbinedion

      June 19, 2017 at 11:05 pm


    • Emmanuella Okoye

      Emmanuella Okoye

      June 19, 2017 at 11:30 pm


    • Cynthia Teniola Miles

      Cynthia Teniola Miles

      June 20, 2017 at 6:01 am

      @Abiola, in otherwords, she was born this way abi? Puleeeez.

    • Tina Manuel

      Tina Manuel

      June 20, 2017 at 6:07 am

      Abiola Ojo my dear being a lesbian is a damn decision. I repeat, it’s a decision. Quote me anywhere.

    • Tina Manuel

      Tina Manuel

      June 20, 2017 at 9:01 am

      Abiola Ojo Nobody is born gay. I can understand it if you say they’re addicted. Now I know it’d be difficult to be attracted to the opposite sex. But somehow, I feel there’s a spirit behind that. God help us all

    • Olufunmilola Kuye Olaniyan

      Olufunmilola Kuye Olaniyan

      June 20, 2017 at 9:12 am

      Stop judging
      Are u sinless
      It is her life n her decision………. on the last day let’s be judge accordingly. ..

    • Esther Opaaje

      Esther Opaaje

      June 20, 2017 at 9:42 am

      Please stop being defensive. There’s no ‘judgment’ in Tina Manuel’s comment ke! Just an understanding and empathetic advice…

    • Esther Opaaje

      Esther Opaaje

      June 20, 2017 at 9:52 am

      People are born disabled. It’s not normal when so… What they need is understanding and help, just as homosexuals who have a genetic conditioning (if true) should get understanding and help. But help is by choice not by force.

    • Tina Manuel

      Tina Manuel

      June 20, 2017 at 9:53 am

      Olufunmilola Kuye Olaniyan you just made me understand that knowledge is not about grammar. Congratulations; you are dumb!

    • Tina Manuel

      Tina Manuel

      June 20, 2017 at 9:54 am

      Kacii Onyedikachi Ben being gay is a decision; end of story

    • Tina Manuel

      Tina Manuel

      June 20, 2017 at 10:25 am

      Kacii Onyedikachi Ben stupidity really agrees with you 😂😂😂

  10. Abbey Emmanuella Priye

    Abbey Emmanuella Priye

    June 19, 2017 at 8:48 pm

    U r indeed possesed

  11. Shirley Mujaigbe

    Shirley Mujaigbe

    June 19, 2017 at 9:29 pm


  12. Bayode Funmilayo

    Bayode Funmilayo

    June 19, 2017 at 9:46 pm

    Put yourself in your moms shoe…mama pikin dey happy say na girl suddenly she talk say na to marry/date fellow girl she want even to the extent of leaving your marriage. Haba she no go happy.

  13. Adebola Cassie

    Adebola Cassie

    June 19, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    You are a brave,amazing woman.
    Continue living and owning your truth.

    • Lagos Ebikaboere Betty

      Lagos Ebikaboere Betty

      June 19, 2017 at 10:38 pm

      R u one?

    • Adebola Cassie

      Adebola Cassie

      June 19, 2017 at 10:40 pm

      How does my sexuality affect you?
      I’m not but even if I am, how is it your concern?

    • Adebola Cassie

      Adebola Cassie

      June 19, 2017 at 11:31 pm

      You’re manifesting the fruit of bigotry,hate and intolerance.
      Live and let live.

    • Adebola Cassie

      Adebola Cassie

      June 20, 2017 at 7:29 am

      Oh so you would prefer to murder her ?
      Why are you people so preoccupied with what other people choose to do with what’s between their legs?
      Nigerians. .you have so many problems to deal with and this,is a headache for you?

    • Ayowande Ogunnaiya Olatunji

      Ayowande Ogunnaiya Olatunji

      June 20, 2017 at 8:49 am

      No one should show any form of hatred to this victim. It could be anyone else,seeing that it d work of the devil.As a Christ follower,such people don’t need your hatred,bigotry or condemnation.They only need love,prayer and tolerance.They need to know through you,what is right and wrong and how to get delivered. Sis Somtoo Metu,Adebola Cassie.Only few Christians understands what u preach here,don’t get angry.They only need enlightenment.

    • Nita Peter

      Nita Peter

      June 20, 2017 at 9:26 am

      We only give account of d life we live to God ND nt man so stop hating people

  14. Àgbidoro Oghenetèga

    Àgbidoro Oghenetèga

    June 19, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    Every attitude that doesn’t fit well in the custom &traditions of wete you find yourself is tagged#bad, so its natural for your mum to react the way she did, its only unfortunate that some children choose thier path in life under minding thier family values

    • Àgbidoro Oghenetèga

      Àgbidoro Oghenetèga

      June 20, 2017 at 6:38 pm

      Shes not normal Kacii no matter how u defend it, its just like saying because siblings get married in the middle east, then an igbo girl can marry her brother because love is spontaneous. It doesn’t tally with our values as Nigerians . Its not just a dirty trait, but another kind of stupid

  15. Hannah Bestman

    Hannah Bestman

    June 19, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    Wasted soul, may God have mercy on you

  16. Debby Baro

    Debby Baro

    June 19, 2017 at 11:11 pm

    Your mother wants a life good for you, and one that would glorify God Almighty. It is not too late dear, go back from the lost grounds, and the peace of God will help you. Jesus loves you and died for your sake that you have a worthy life!

  17. Ewilems Queen

    Ewilems Queen

    June 20, 2017 at 1:13 am

    May our Children bring us blessing and not put us to shame and ridicule in Jesus name

  18. Mordi Lovelyn

    Mordi Lovelyn

    June 20, 2017 at 7:30 am

    She gave birth to u, expecting u to have urs….. Now u talking nonsense.

  19. Onyinye Ezekoye

    Onyinye Ezekoye

    June 20, 2017 at 8:42 am

    Imagine hoping to celebrate your daughter’s marriage and she shocks you with this unimaginable dirt. God forbid the devil.

  20. Nita Peter

    Nita Peter

    June 20, 2017 at 9:28 am

    It’s ha lyf nt ours ND we only give account to God nt man so stop hating

  21. Kelechi Opara

    Kelechi Opara

    June 20, 2017 at 9:33 am

    It’s well dear, I believe something went wrong during your growing up years. So sorry she wasn’t sensitive to know and it got to this. I know you know this is weird but you are unable to help yourself and your tired of fighting all alone all you want is to surrender and let your world be without chaos. Baby you are not normal just be conscious of that first and then realize you need help. We can only pray for you cos condemning you won’t help issues. God bless you and guide you.

    • Kelechi Opara

      Kelechi Opara

      June 20, 2017 at 10:23 am

      Lol ok. You don’t need to impose your opinion on others. It’s yours and you are entitled to it just as I am to mine

    • Kelechi Opara

      Kelechi Opara

      June 20, 2017 at 11:40 am

      Lol o

    • Àgbidoro Oghenetèga

      Àgbidoro Oghenetèga

      June 20, 2017 at 7:00 pm

      Kacii can you sleep with your brother? If no give us a reason

  22. Esther Opaaje

    Esther Opaaje

    June 20, 2017 at 9:47 am

    Well, if you people will stop using artificial male organs, then I’ll believe it’s probably a fault in nature…
    The way some people are born disabled…

  23. Nancy Gabriel

    Nancy Gabriel

    June 20, 2017 at 11:28 am

    Truely you are posses, you need deliverance.maybe dos pple ur mom brot weren’t strong enof

  24. Chioma Adiele

    Chioma Adiele

    June 20, 2017 at 11:44 am

    So disgusting! Anyway may God come to their aid because they have been captured by the enemy of their souls. No one is born a gay.

  25. Jovita Egwu

    Jovita Egwu

    June 20, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    Not judging but How do u intend to continue the human race??

  26. Benita Obinyan

    Benita Obinyan

    June 21, 2017 at 12:09 pm

    Hmmm…the bible spoke of times like these the second coming of Christ when people will kill their father, mother, son and sister when they world will accept strange things things that are against the doctrines of christ and make it seem normal and celebrate it. The devil is working hard at this time to turn good Christians against christ.these are the last days. So I am not surprised. LESBIANISM IS AN ABOMINATION BEFORE GOD. Let him who has ears let him hear. Let those who do good continue and let those who do evil continue for I am coming and I will reward each man for his deeds. My dear I do not condenm you or judge you far from it. The bible says we are all sinners and our righteousness is like a filthy rag before him. But because God is merciful should we continue in sin? The bible says God forbid!! I will continually keep you in my prayers that one day the truth of christ, his love and his word touches you and his light chases out the darkness. It is well my dear God bless you. I love you with the love of God.

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