One of the most common reasons women stay with their abusive partners is because of their children. Many women say they are enduring the abuse because they want their children to have a ‘stable’ home.
However, Dr. Rola Tomori, a clinical psychologist, says that one of the reason domestic violence continues from one generation to the other is because children are witnessing violence in the home.
Explaining how domestic violence affects a child, Dr. Rola, in a YouTube video explained that as a child witnesses the kind of relationship that exists between his parents, he takes love for violence.
She noted that, in the situation where parents are trying to make sure the children do not know, they exhaust their emotional resources and it brings about psychological stress in the family.
When a child is growing up in the home and is getting to know the world around them, the first thing they need is a sense of safety. A sense that life is simple helps them to grow and develop normally.
When there’s domestic violence in the home, it increases the sense of unpredictability. The child begins to know that the world is a very obscene place and that is very scary for the child. The unpredictability, the chaos, the stress and all that is going on have negative effects on the mind of a young person.
When parents are constantly involved in violence whether the victim or the perpetrator, there’s a tremendous stress on the emotional and psychological resources in that home and even though the parents may be trying their best, they’re neglecting affection for the child. They’re neglecting the needs of the child.
So much is going into trying to keep the home life sane and making sense of this violence and the stress is affecting that child. The parents may show a lot of love to the child by being very clingy to make up for the problems they have in their relationship, or they may not be attentive to a child’s needs because they are trying to deal with all that is going on in that relationship.