It Happened To Me

I Became Sexually Active At a Young Age Because My Mother Did Not Guide Me



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Sent in by anonymous

As a teen I always heard my friends talk about the things their moms taught them about growing up but my case was different. In as much as it seemed we had so much value for family, my mom was not always around not to talk of having the time to teach her daughters how to be a grown woman. I learnt everything I knew from friends, ranging from menstruation to caring for myself as a girl. It was difficult but I managed to grow.

I remember when I was much younger, some of my grown up female cousins started fondling my vagina. I also found out that the ones at my age then had learnt the act too. I was very tender still in primary school but I was already getting sexual sensations. At secluded times we gather and fondle each other. I can remember one time myself and a neighbors son hid under the staircase while a male cousin of mine sat at the entrance to keep watch for us. We were still wearing our clothes and wasn’t getting the real feeling, so we decided to take our pants off. As I came out from beneath the stair case, my mother caught me and gave me a thorough beaten. Still she didn’t get closer but always looked at me like a spoilt child till date. But I thank God I realised that what I was about doing was wrong and that was why she beat me up.

I became so addicted to the fondling, but being a very shy and introverted teen girl I didn’t associate with many people and could not even express myself whenever I felt the urge to be touched. My cousin introduced me to using my finger to pleasure myself, so I kept on doing this just to avoid people around learning the truth about me.

Learning the implications of getting involved with a boy, and always remembering my mom talk about how she got married a virgin at seventeen, I vowed not to have a boyfriend until I’m grown and mature for marriage. But I couldn’t keep to my vow as temptations kept lurking around me.

I gave into my first relationship at nineteen to man of twenty eight. Still naive and scared of a penis penetrating my vagina. All I wanted was a relationship that could spring to marriage so I can have my dreams come through. This I couldn’t achieve as the young man was so impatient and eager to peruse through my Paradise. One day he forcefully had his way with me so I hated him so much that I broke up with him. I was told that a girl would bleed at least a little on the first day but my case was different as no blood showed up. Which is to say that the constant fingering had helped in loosening and deflowering me. I was no longer a virgin even though it was my first experience.

Though I was angry, but the feeling became more real than that which I felt with my cousin sisters’ touch. So I got a new boy friend and began my sexual adventure. Now I’m bisexual.

Sometimes I feel if I had been guided by my mom, my dreams of remaining intact till marriage would have come through or maybe not. But in all I still give thanks to God for where and who I am today.

Do you or do you know somebody that wants to share a real life personal story in our IT HAPPENED TO ME column? Please send the story via email to (Identity will not be revealed if you wish!)



  1. Mubowale Gabriel

    Mubowale Gabriel

    August 7, 2017 at 10:32 am

    Ur mom is not to be blamed bcoz she had no idea of Wat was going on behind her back and u didn’t open up to her. You didn’t let her know

    • Maureen Chiamaka Uzuegbu

      Maureen Chiamaka Uzuegbu

      August 7, 2017 at 11:32 am

      Isn’t it the duty of the mother to inquire things about her child, notice changes from her and ask questions. Kids are usually scared to tell such things to their parents, it is therefore a matter of necessity for parents to be sensitive enough to detect changes from their children. Not everybody qualifies to be a mother u know. If you’re not ready to be one, then don’t be.

    • Josephine Onwueze Umide

      Josephine Onwueze Umide

      August 7, 2017 at 5:42 pm

      Mubowale, you really wouldn’t understand… Its parental… My experience as a growing lil girl as made me a better mother to my girls.. I have tot dem all dey need to kno and make dem comfortable enough to tell me anything… Once a neighbor tried to play funny with my girl of 3yrs and she came rushing to tell me what he did and I took it up… Please mothers be careful and vigilant most importantly talk to your girl child about all this stuff and let dem know even daddy shouldn’t touch dem in some areas of their body… Mbok!

  2. Daniela Anthony

    Daniela Anthony

    August 7, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    To be a woman is different thing and to be real mother is another thing, some mothers v failed in the motherhood, all de care about is thier business and all that but not available to see how their children are growing into especially the female one’s…

    • Joy Grandee

      Joy Grandee

      August 7, 2017 at 2:40 pm


    • Daniela Anthony

      Daniela Anthony

      August 7, 2017 at 3:03 pm

      Yes dear I don’t mind quilting my job so I can watch my children and pay attention to them

    • Sandra Udeigbo

      Sandra Udeigbo

      August 7, 2017 at 3:48 pm

      Dt’s d spirit

    • Daniela Anthony

      Daniela Anthony

      August 7, 2017 at 3:49 pm

      Yes dear, with God nothing is impossible

    • Faith Ogoke Joseph Okeke

      Faith Ogoke Joseph Okeke

      August 7, 2017 at 7:12 pm

      Is very very important to watch over your children more especially the girl child. Very important, always ask God to take charge of them .

  3. Oyebola Bakare

    Oyebola Bakare

    August 7, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    God would help us all…she is right so many parents has failed in parenting aspect.

  4. Tina Momoh Olubakinde

    Tina Momoh Olubakinde

    August 7, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    The fact that you hide n someone watches the door shows that you knew what you were doing was wrong

  5. Ajokeayomide Seriki

    Ajokeayomide Seriki

    August 7, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    ur head is nt correct….see ur mouth…..hw many pple has a mother to guide em tru life…..that was what u chose for urself

    • Oghenegueke Collins

      Oghenegueke Collins

      August 7, 2017 at 8:12 pm

      Must u display how uncultured you are in public?

    • Ajokeayomide Seriki

      Ajokeayomide Seriki

      August 7, 2017 at 8:40 pm

      i think d uncultured persin here is u””””’u cant even mind ur bussiness or must u reply me……..

    • Ajokeayomide Seriki

      Ajokeayomide Seriki

      August 7, 2017 at 8:42 pm

      or if u dnt understand my feelings cant u ask me to explain???””””’u really pissed me off dis night

    • Juliet Tosan

      Juliet Tosan

      August 8, 2017 at 3:52 pm

      My dear she definitely choose it herself, and her Mum is NOT to blame period!

    • Ajokeayomide Seriki

      Ajokeayomide Seriki

      August 8, 2017 at 5:16 pm

      thank u my sister juliet,…..i wonder ooo

    • Janet Josiah

      Janet Josiah

      August 9, 2017 at 9:46 am

      Ajokeayomide Seriki learn how to speak in public… Will I just say u lack home training

    • Ajokeayomide Seriki

      Ajokeayomide Seriki

      August 9, 2017 at 10:29 am

      is like u woke up on d left side of ur bed??? Well i wont blame u…i am sorry i forgot the woman in question is ur mother….n its obvious u both lack home training… janet josiah

    • Ajokeayomide Seriki

      Ajokeayomide Seriki

      August 9, 2017 at 10:34 am

      very foolish girl……..imagine the whore giving me advice……u must be stupid janet….very stupid infact……goat… people like u that r senseless…….cant u just make ur own comment n pass by……..stupid gir or woman rather…….vampire

  6. Segun Majekodunmi

    Segun Majekodunmi

    August 7, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    That’s the problem with our society,she has made a mistake,and she has the boldness to even come out now,can’t we just tell her that she is not alone,and that God will give her a new beginning and not condemn her.

    Another victim will never have the boldness to speak out,if all we could do is to blame them.we all have our dirty past,and some of us are even still in it.

  7. Ndanusa Hauwa

    Ndanusa Hauwa

    August 7, 2017 at 9:52 pm

    Sexual exploitation from a young age is very dangerous.People who have passed through it didn’t bring it upon themselves.A high percent of girls who were assaulted sexually from childhood turn out to suffer from immense depression and nymphomania. Most times,it’s impossible to open up,it’s a difficult fight and I don’t blame the person behind this story at all.She needs guidance,that is if she wants to move past this phase.

  8. Uchechi Kate

    Uchechi Kate

    August 7, 2017 at 10:34 pm

    Tank God u know now u can retrace ur steps Accept Jesus

  9. Oputa Elizabeth

    Oputa Elizabeth

    August 8, 2017 at 3:53 am

    Pls don’t blame ur mother ok it is u dat want ur life dat way at age 19 u had a boyfrd who forcefully disflowered u n u still blaming ur mom.
    So she should not work for moni abi. Have thought dat she is also working for u so u too work hard to kip urself gud for her. There are some parents who are not hardworking n den d childern will be in for it financially. U will soon become a mother too to know how it is ok . So kip urself

  10. Oputa Elizabeth

    Oputa Elizabeth

    August 8, 2017 at 3:55 am

    There are some full time house wife who have promiscuous children


    William NG

    August 8, 2017 at 1:07 pm

    Very true

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