It Happened To Me

I Became Sexually Active At a Young Age Because My Mother Did Not Guide Me

   

 

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Sent in by anonymous

As a teen I always heard my friends talk about the things their moms taught them about growing up but my case was different. In as much as it seemed we had so much value for family, my mom was not always around not to talk of having the time to teach her daughters how to be a grown woman. I learnt everything I knew from friends, ranging from menstruation to caring for myself as a girl. It was difficult but I managed to grow.

I remember when I was much younger, some of my grown up female cousins started fondling my vagina. I also found out that the ones at my age then had learnt the act too. I was very tender still in primary school but I was already getting sexual sensations. At secluded times we gather and fondle each other. I can remember one time myself and a neighbors son hid under the staircase while a male cousin of mine sat at the entrance to keep watch for us. We were still wearing our clothes and wasn’t getting the real feeling, so we decided to take our pants off. As I came out from beneath the stair case, my mother caught me and gave me a thorough beaten. Still she didn’t get closer but always looked at me like a spoilt child till date. But I thank God I realised that what I was about doing was wrong and that was why she beat me up.

I became so addicted to the fondling, but being a very shy and introverted teen girl I didn’t associate with many people and could not even express myself whenever I felt the urge to be touched. My cousin introduced me to using my finger to pleasure myself, so I kept on doing this just to avoid people around learning the truth about me.

Learning the implications of getting involved with a boy, and always remembering my mom talk about how she got married a virgin at seventeen, I vowed not to have a boyfriend until I’m grown and mature for marriage. But I couldn’t keep to my vow as temptations kept lurking around me.

I gave into my first relationship at nineteen to man of twenty eight. Still naive and scared of a penis penetrating my vagina. All I wanted was a relationship that could spring to marriage so I can have my dreams come through. This I couldn’t achieve as the young man was so impatient and eager to peruse through my Paradise. One day he forcefully had his way with me so I hated him so much that I broke up with him. I was told that a girl would bleed at least a little on the first day but my case was different as no blood showed up. Which is to say that the constant fingering had helped in loosening and deflowering me. I was no longer a virgin even though it was my first experience.

Though I was angry, but the feeling became more real than that which I felt with my cousin sisters’ touch. So I got a new boy friend and began my sexual adventure. Now I’m bisexual.

Sometimes I feel if I had been guided by my mom, my dreams of remaining intact till marriage would have come through or maybe not. But in all I still give thanks to God for where and who I am today.

Do you or do you know somebody that wants to share a real life personal story in our IT HAPPENED TO ME column? Please send the story via email to info@woman.ng (Identity will not be revealed if you wish!)

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