Heard this before? Don’t sound so disgusted, apparently, it’s a norm that we should get used to, especially if your preference is men from an African descent.
So, as I was saying, according to a few (and I use this word loosely) members of the older generation, men will always cheat, and you’d be lucky to find one that doesn’t, as long as he’s taking care of you and needs, you should be content and get over it……. (I laugh in Khana! (my native language lol)) Many mothers (in my case, Nigerian, let me know if this happens in other countries) would normally advise you to forgive your significant other for his infidelity and ignore it as far as he’s taking care of home (that’s you and all that concerns you). Didn’t know we were still living in the dark ages, am I not able to take care of myself again that I must suffer in silence?
What shocks me more (tell me if I shouldn’t be surprised) is that some ladies of our generation are also of this opinion: – So Maybe it’s just the feminist in me….
So as usual, I have been discussing this with my inner circle, who I am proud to say get as infuriated as I do when discussing this issue. According to Him, the statement in itself is a fallacy as it is a generalization in the first instance and secondly it is completely down to the individual and the choices they choose to make. This seemed to echo through my other conversations with others on this topic.
Now I’m not saying that if he cheats, you should get out as fast as you can, of course in some circumstances it can be worked through and dealt with, but by saying that ‘all men cheat, it’s in their DNA’, this is simply giving them an excuse to carry on cheating and reinforcing gender stereotypes on sexuality.
Founder and editor of Feminist Current, Meghan Murphy, wrote a great article on this for XOJane. According to Meghan, ‘Monogamy is more about social norms than anything else. We are faithful to our partners because we make a commitment to do so and because we don’t want to hurt them.’ Couldn’t have said it better myself.
So as always, I’d love to know your thoughts (you don’t have to be swayed by mine, I won’t judge you lol) Please do leave your comments below for others to see, rather than messaging me with your thoughts lol.
Writer – Mimi Osakwe is a Public Relations & Communications Professional, freelance writer, art enthusiast, glorified foodie and a lifestyle & culture blogger at ramblingsofmissmimi.wordpress.com who rambles on all things to do with life including relationships, career, societal pressures, places to go and so much more.