#SheSaidThis

I Perfectly Understand What Toke Makinwa Said About Emotional Abuse

   

With tears in her eyes, standing helplessly as she waved goodbye to us, assuring us that she would be back, I looked at my mum walk into the night to God knows where.

It had become a normal sight to see my father beat my mum and we dare not utter a single word.  That night, he had sent her packing at some minutes to midnight.

There was no use telling her to leave my father and start a new life. I already knew what she would tell me. I could recite it in my sleep.

Unfortunately, my parent’s issues strained us so much that our happiness laid outside our home….what an irony.

For us, our home held memories that no child should be made to go through. Many times, I wished I was not born into my family. Even as an adult, I am still tormented by these memories.

So, I understand perfectly what media personality, Toke Makinwa is saying about emotional abuse. I hope more awareness is created about this as the scar it leaves is deeper than what is seen at the surface.

She tweeted,

I had a chat on my show about emotional abuse yesterday and I have made up my mind to raise awareness on this topic…

When people hear emotional abuse they are quick to think man/woman dynamic but do you know parents emotionally abuse their kids too

You hear how some parents talk down on their children, the harsh words used to correct them, magnifying their weakness and in some cases

Some mothers take the frustration of the fathers out on their kids, some fathers in a bid to get back at their wives do the same

You hear of a man divorcing his wife and out of bitterness inflicts the pain on his children, he doesn’t pay school fees….

See also:“To Every Woman Who Has Been Abused Psychologically, Physically, Morally And Emotionally I Respect You All” – Toyin Aimakhu

The woman also out of bitterness of the father leaving takes her anger out on the children words like “you are useless like your father” …

Even in work places, a boss uses his position to talk down at everyone, emotional abuse is not restricted to love relationships alone

Sometimes the perpetrators don’t even know it. There’s a cycle of, my parents raised me that way and I didn’t die therefore my kids won’t too

Some of us were raised in hostile homes, mummy and daddy’s mood determined the general mood in the house

When they fight you dare not come of your room or ask for anything, sometimes you blame yourself for why your parents hate each other

They won’t separate because of what the society would say but the children go thru hell and endure the result of the bad choices they made

That child now grows up and if help is not given goes on to be abusive in his own relationship too. It’s a Cycle we must break as it”ll break anyone

I know of a man who doesn’t take care of his own son cos in his words “she trapped me”. Like that’s your child!!!!!

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One of our favourite quotes at Woman.NG is a line from Emeli Sande’s Read All About It; “If you’ve got the heart of a lion, why let your voice be tamed?” This has inspired us to publish Nigerian women’s take on about everything. From conceiving a child to burying an old loved one and every life experience in between them - Nigerian women’s stories, opinions, issues, debates, advice, news etc. Read More >>

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