Open Letter

An Open Letter To Our Married Men


By Dorcas Adesete

80% of all Nigerian single ladies have at least 2 or 3 married men currently asking them out. It has become a norm in our society for married men to still be on the look out for single ladies after the marital vows have been exchanged. I know most men out there would claim that married ladies do the same to bachelors too, but in this case it has become a practice that has become more rampant to our ladies.

Why can’t married men just let us be? Why can’t we be left alone without distractions from them? And when I say distractions, I mean truly, some of these men are ‘stinkingly’ rich, and they tend to show us fake care. They would go to any length at spoiling us with their wealth. These things are truly tempting but a well disciplined lady would never get swayed by these things. Our boyfriends no longer feel secure with the fear of a married man snatching their partners from them. Leave us alone with our relationships!

The high rate of infidelity among married men in this country ehn! Its very frustrating!. Maybe we need a new practice like the one practiced in the U.S where you have to divide your properties, the minute your wife decides to leave you. Maybe that would help even though it seems impossible here.

Notwithstanding, it is pertinent to note that the minute you exchange vows with your partner, you agreed to stick to one woman… Irrespective of the fact that there are still so many beautiful ladies out there, you singled out your wife and should stick to her forever.

I get tired and pissed off when a married man starts hitting on me and I’m like ” I am in a relationship” Nah! That doesn’t send them away. In fact they would tell you they are ready to be a side fowl/turkey to us… Imagine!!
Seeing married uncles, lecturers, neighbours etc, hitting on young ladies, is very disheartening. It doesn’t give me hope of a better future.

Have you thought for a second, that your cheating habits has its toll on your wife’s emotional and psychological health when she becomes aware? And also your kids too?

Oh! You think you are so good at hiding such? Well, how about the extra secret agent character you play outside your home? Doesn’t it have a mental effect on you? What about the extra finances you spend in your extra marital affair? Why can’t you convert such into some positive developments in your home or career? Have you also considered how you will feel if the same thing is being done to you by your wife?.

Or is it sex? Maybe your wife doesn’t know how to give back perfectly or you want extra skills and you seem disappointed always? Then teach her with love what you want and not ridiculously. There are various ways to teach your spouse and google can help too.
If you think you are bored in your marriage, not to worry, it is normal. Try to introduce new communication skills,learn to spice it up, travel, be real and never compare your marriage to others.

Don’t forget the fact that there are so many beautiful ladies that are better than your wife. Beautiful ones are born everyday, but it only takes discipline and commitment. I mean ‘discipline’ that I expect you to have been well groomed on when you were a bachelor. Discipline and commitment would make you a better man for your wife and home.
We are tired of seeing our married men who are to be our role models, live this kind of lifestyle. And don’t get angry at my writing. #itsmyopinion and #thebittertruth.


Writer – Born into a family of five, Dorcas is the first daughter of the Adesete family. She hails from Ogun State but was born and bred in Lagos. At age 24, she has a Master’s in Philosophy from the University of Lagos and acquired her B.A in philosophy from the same University. She is known for her diligent, sincere and friendly qualities. She loves to write, sing, research, organise, and help the less – privileged. She is a young ambitious lady that hopes to work with creative and goal oriented minds like hers.



  1. Aneke Cassy Pesh

    Aneke Cassy Pesh

    November 10, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    Pls tell them they are everywhere ooh

  2. Faith Benjamin

    Faith Benjamin

    November 12, 2017 at 11:27 pm

    Please spread the gospel…it is so alarming.

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