Do Not “Manage”


Some days ago, I was in a vehicle, going to the town part of Abuja, normally, Sienna cars are to carry 3 at the back, 4 in the middle seat and 2 (sometimes 1) at the front. It is a normal thing, every body knows this.

But for some reason, the driver created a ruckus about carrying just 3 at the back. For him, it was a waste of N250 and didn’t see why we couldn’t be 4 at the back.

One aunty was angry of course, I was too but I was in a haste. She complained and argued and when the driver didn’t change his mind, she alighted and walked away. Passengers tried to appeal to her, tried to make her see that it was just an hour drive (even less) and that she should just manage. But no way, aunty was not having any of it, after all, she paid for the ride and the driver could have told her of his intention.

What am I saying? What is your business with one aunty and driver?

Nigerians (at least most of them) like to guilt you into managing something you don’t want to or will never be happy with.

They will guilt you into managing that job that depresses you from 9-5 because there are “thousands out there who are searching.”

As a woman, they will guilt you into loving, into staying in an abusive and emotionally draining relationship because; your biological clock is ticking, because there are many spinsters out there and you can not afford to be one.

Some how, in this maze of meeting society at its endless point of needs, we have managed with dissatisfaction, managed with mediocre, managed with everything less Forgetting that your happiness in its truest form is not up for slashes or half measures. That you are entitled to an overwhelming bounty of it, with out guilt or questions.


Shade Mary-Ann Olaoye is a writer and journalist with hopes that her words will change the next person. You can find her on Facebook as Shade Mary-Ann Olaoye.

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