They do not know each other and may never know each other but with one voice, they say that, “Post Partum Depression is real.”
Following Ese Ark’s honest confession on her struggle with post partum depression, many Naija mothers opened up on Instablog about their own experience.
This is a call to those experiencing it to get help and also for people around them to support them.
28 Naija women share their experiences with post-partum depression
Yes postpartum depression is real. Sometimes I feel so frustrated, I think back at how free and beautiful I was before the baby came, but now all the weight gain, stretch marks, big tummy, sleepless nights, stressful mornings. Sometimes, I almost want to cry and say is all these worth it. But when I look at my little angel smiling at me. I brace up courage and forge ahead and whisper to her ears. Dearie I love u so much and I will never leave u. I have a very matured husband who even helps out with chores, but I still got depressed… My body changes. I couldn’t believe a former size 12 was now automatically a size 16. my non lactating breast that refused to flow, my ever crying baby , so many other things almost made me run mad.
I lost my mind completely. I bought my mum plane ticket all the way from my country to another country just to come and take my boy away. I love him with all my heart but I don’t know what would have happened by now.
First child I did on my own, no depression. Second child my husband was around but slept in a different room for the first 3 months, I went through that moment. I almost lost my mind, how I wish he knows that I was not happy.
Till date I miss the months I didn’t bond with my baby… but what do i do? I was in PAIN
Mine was worse. Thanks to an educated mother in-law who noticed it in me. She immediately called a psychiatrist to my rescue. My mother was busy saying na u be d first to born?
It happened to me and trust me those kinds of thoughts run through the mind. People kept on asking and saying I should get my daughter a sibling because it’s better to have your kids once and for all. I wasn’t even thinking of having another child. Your life changes over night and you now have a being to take care of and be responsible for other than yourself. It’s tougher when a mother doesn’t have support. My daughter is 5 yrs now and I’m mentally and physically ready for another.
I remember standing on d balcony of my house when my daughter was 2 months old and thinking of how much easier it would be if I jumped. It was the hardest thing ever. My daughter is 5 and I’m still not emotionally ready to have another.
My baby is 1year plus and I had never had an hour straight sleep since I gave birth to her.. It’s very real I can relate especially first 3months of birth.. Even with the help of nannies or grannies, mothers still go through a lot. I shouted at my child this midnight. I have to wake up every 30 minutes to put feeding bottle in her mouth as soon as she starts to cry and the father is completely left out in this struggle.
I was a victim when I had my son (my 2nd child)….my life changed and couldn’t handle all the things happening around me then. My husband does not even believe in PPD, so he was not there for me! Thank God for your life and I give thanks to Allah for sending friends, if not for these people, God knows I wouldn’t have survived all that happened to me then.
I remember after I had my baby, I didn’t want to see her. I was in so much pain and didn’t understand why someone so little and adorable could cause me so much pain. But the doc realized in time, spoke with me. Finally she was brought the next day and I fell completely in love. PPD is real, I almost fell right in, thank God for my doctor that observed immediately!
I was in this same condition. I wanted to feel alive, I wanted to feel free but I felt my baby was a big burden. I was young; I needed to get my life back. I needed to pick up the pieces of my life again, so I left him with my mom at 3 months. People called me bad; I cried and cried the day I left him with my neighbor. A tough choice I made but I couldn’t stay, I needed to leave, I needed to find peace somewhere else so I left. When my mom got back and found out that I’ve ran away she called but I ignored so I left Lagos and went back to the East. I called my mum and apologized and told her I needed to go back to school, I needed to feel free that I was sorry she has to help take care of my child. I mean, she had no choice she just had to but then today my son is so grown and I never stopped been there for him and I still apologize to him for not been there when he needed me the most.
When I had my first baby, I gained about 40kg, I felt like a whale… I avoided mirrors or reflections, I hated myself. August 8, 2013 , I welcomed my first baby, hours later, I was told she was jaundiced and I couldn’t spend the first few days of her life with her, she had to be put under a Blue light to help her get better. Meanwhile I gave birth through C-section and also had to recover, I would cry every time, I was so touchy and disorganized. When we were finally discharged, and got home, she cried every time “non-stop” literally for 4months…. day and night…. I was beyond overwhelmed, I couldn’t do anything, and I hardly had a bath….. I felt like running away from her, I cried every day, I thought children were supposed to bring Joy… I sometimes thought of a disaster that could take her away from me “sadly.” Sometimes I would leave her alone in the house crying and just take a walk to breathe. I couldn’t explain my feelings to anyone mostly because I would be frowned at…. Eventually things returned to normal.
It’s not that simple. I was over prepared sef. Mental health has to do with chemicals in the brain we cannot see. I had pre-natal depression. I wanted to induce a miscarriage even my husband didn’t know!!! Honestly there’s no way you can explain this except you have been through it
I remembered when I had my first baby, because the baby feeds all through the night, hardly had adequate sleep during the day, no appetite for food for someone doing exclusive bread feeding. I was suicidal, depressed, hated life. I would cry at any given chance, for every little situation or no situation at all. When the baby is crying I cried, when he’s not still crying. I remembered my mother in law would stylishly ask if I regretted marrying my husband. My husband could not understand that being a good caring husband wasn’t enough for a depressed new mother. Because my husband wasn’t happy and couldn’t understand why I was so unhappy, I became more depressed. It was later I got to know it was post partum or baby blues I passed through because as that time I couldn’t understand myself what was wrong with me so I wasn’t prepared.
After the birth of my first child, all I did was cry. Anything could make me cry, it was like walking on egg shells around me then because no one knew what would trigger the tears, then I didn’t understand much about PPD, but with my other kids it was a lot easier.
Suffered postnatal depression and was certain I would kill myself. I was angry, didn’t want to be a mother for a long time. I was lucky I married the best guy in the world who pulled me through it all and literally became the mum and dad for the kids. He made me love the changes and accept them.
I felt this way with my first child despite being very excited and happy when I had him few days later I became depressed. I’ll ask myself, what if I throw the baby from the 2 storey building where I’m standing. Thank God for personal prayers, I overcame it praying all the time, singing worships so the thought won’t come.
I actually left the house one Sunday morning after the birth of my 1st baby to be alone. I just wanted to hear nothing but my own heart beat. I didn’t want any demands on me. My boobies and body seemed like they belonged to someone else. I drove through town, cried a little, ate a lot, cried some more, went to the cinema and some other places I can’t remember-it’s been almost 5yrs – then came home late evening. I felt guilty leaving my few weeks’ old nursing new born alone with her father but I felt better, put together when I got home, and felt ready to be a mom again. TAKE a break sometimes. Even if no one will give it to you, TAKE it.
I have two kids now! Two amazing boys… I am done with giving birth and standing as a strong woman… I was a wreck…I wanted to spank my 2months old, hit him hard but I resisted the urge, I have the most amazing hubby, my beloved sister was around, and my mother in law too but I felt drained and in pain… I couldn’t cry, I took out the frustration on my first son, but I told my hubby to take care of him… now I am fine, very fine, I am happy, I got help… depression is real, most of us don’t even know that they is what is happening
It’s only worse if you’re married to an abusive man. At one point, I left. I snapped and decided death was better than it all. I left and was few minutes from jumping to my death, how my mum found me is still a mystery till today. I didn’t believe I was going to survive DEC 16 2017, I didn’t believe I was going to see the next day or see my son grow up, but I’m alive today. I did run mad because I let it get to me. But today almost a month later, I’m stronger. I still breastfeed all night (my son is just 4months) but I’ve got nothing but love for my life and his. I left that toxic environment, finally and I’m surrounded by nothing but love peace and sanity!
Those first 6 weeks after child birth is not easy at all.. I remember being extremely overwhelmed and I cried a lot the first 2 weeks. Didn’t have time for myself, I rushed my toilet time, ah to make food for myself was war.
It’s so real! Even though I had a lot of people around me at the time and a supportive husband, I still felt something was taking away my liberty and fun life. I did everything possible to make it fun. So many times you just breakdown and cry alone, I began to hate the people who came to take care of me, especially the ones that would say “Hurry up ohhh, a mother takes her bath quick.” I remember attacking my mum the day she tried to force me to eat….so many instances.
I remember when I had my baby 2 months ago, I nearly run mad because I had him in the USA and there was nobody there to assist me at all. The pain of breast engorgement was worst. I cried morning, afternoon and night and my mum cried along with me anytime we spoke on phone.. But anytime my baby smiles at me, I just forget all my worries and I thank GOD for giving him to me.
I have had 4 pregnancies and 1 baby to show for it. I am expecting another one now and yes Post Partum Depression is very real. 3 days after I had my baby, she was crying in the midnight and I was so tired but I had to care for her. I stood up, sang, danced with her, breastfed her and she rejected everything. And do you know what my mature 33years, been praying to God for a baby did? I STARTED CRYING!!!! Because I didn’t know what to do again. I was just saying stuff like please stop crying, please now, let’s sleep now; my mum came in and took her away, because God know what I would have done with my level of frustration.
I thought the term was a lie until I half experienced it. I have a six months old baby and I can tell you as a matter of fact, the first 6weeks were crazy. I lost weight so much, a terrible migraine, body pains and was always on the edge. I took it out on my hubby and first son. I was always having thoughts of sickness and death. Thanks to God, I have been able to cope. The stress is still there but the joy my baby brings is enough compensation for me.
I had 2 of my daughters 7 and 5 years ago and I almost thought I was going to run mad and vowed I was through with child bearing. Fast forward to. September last year I had my son in America and they asked series of questions of I was sad? Suicidal or depressed? Then they took me through several questions and constantly called to find out if I was ok and adjusting to caring for myself and the baby. That was when I heard about postpartum depression. Its very real and I think support systems should be made available for new mothers so they are aware of what to except.
Really not easy especially when it’s your first time and your partner is not there to assist. My hubby was far away in Maiduguri fighting Boko Haram. I almost ran mad o. Most times I will be psyching God to allow the baby to sleep so I can rest. But then, I survived. To even carry belle deh fear me now self. Make I enjoy my freedom small joor
Mine was worst too, I cried for no reason. I wanted to run away after the first 2 weeks of birthing my son, my mother in law made it worst by always assuming I’m crying because of something else. Please new mothers should have someone they are free with to express their likes and dislikes and someone that can’t assist them.