Be Stubborn


You are scrolling through your timeline and you stumble upon a post from a female friend about love, inadequacy, and heart break.

The last words read thus; ‘… He said, “you were too stubborn and I couldn’t control you.”

You wonder how many women have been told that, have been tagged “stubborn” because in this part of the world where you come from, there are certain limits to a woman’s will. A woman’s choice and ultimately, her way of life.

You were one of them.

Until a fist broke more then just your back and you realized that living for you, for any woman shouldn’t be on the palms of a man.

Until you accepted your truth, that you became vocal enough to click the comment button on your friends post to write;

“They will say all sorts, but, the truth is this, and it is actually simple.

I do not care what you say or how you say it, no matter how demeaning or how perfectly you think you have crushed my ego and my heart.

You lie, over and over again.

Because I will not conform to your “truth” of me, I will not change or alter even to a slightest version, to suit you.

I am liberated, from the root, to my tongue that even if I try to chew the words or thoughts you hate to hear, those words that make you cringe because “I am too vocal, too opinionated, too in control of myself, too assertive of my wants and feelings.”

Even if I chew them or bite my tongue to halt them, they will come as blood, in their purest form.”


Shade Mary-Ann Olaoye is a writer and journalist with hopes that her words will change the next person. You can find her on Facebook as Shade Mary-Ann Olaoye.

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