“Can a woman have it all?”
You would almost hear this question in any gathering of women. Young career women asking the older ones if and how they can balance work and family together.
Morenike Toyin Folayan is a reproductive health activist and Associate Professor, College of Health Sciences, Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Osun State. She is also a trained dentist and into global and community advocacy as well as being a researcher and consultant with the United Nations.
At a point in her life, she had to divorce her husband. Although, she doesn’t regret it, she is not happy at the effect it has on her children.
I think one of the things that probably made me call for a divorce was that I could not sacrifice my career for my home, and I am happy I did not. Because now that I’m divorced, I’m still going on. I don’t feel any loss and I don’t feel that I’ve wasted my life. In addition, I must acknowledge extensively that my husband stood at the home front for me, spent a lot of time with the kids. He did, and I would always acknowledge that.
However, I think I had trained my children to become very independent. That is one of the things that make me sad sometimes. My kids do not really need me around. At times, I just wonder if my kids really need me. Actually, the three of them are now in the UK, one of them is married and two are in school. I send them text messages through Whatsapp or Messenger, and two weeks after, they reply. I really brought up independent children. It has its disadvantages, but it allowed me a lot more in my career. It has its pluses and minuses.
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