#SheSaidThis

Gbemi Olateru Olagbegi Is Stirring The Conversation We All Need To Have On What It Really Means To Be A Good Parent

   

“Yes, I believe in training a child the way he should go but you need to be emotionally available for them too. Enough with the whole authoritative actions. These days, they don’t even advice anymore, they just give executive orders without consulting your interests,” @allieatom commented to Gbemi Olateru Olagbegi’s post on being a good parent.

Gbemi, a media personality and entrepreneur had twitted how providing for the family as a man and nurturing the family as a woman is not the major criteria to being good parents.

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For those that agreed with her commented that many African parents are not emotionally available to their children, while recounting personal stories.

“She’s saying the truth! Nigerian parents don’t understand this. It is not enough to have enough money to buy your kids everything they want, your kids need your emotional availability. Children should be able to talk to their parents about their fears. Parents should not insult their children, it breeds insecurity and bad manners. Parents should play with their children too, love supercedes money,” @placidbunny commented.

@anania26 shared her story, “Absolutely true. My dad is a great provider too but he is a big bully and no one likes being around him at all. You can’t joke with him, laugh with him, play around. personally, I’ve never even hugged my dad before. it feels terrible but that is how he wants life to be and I have learnt to accept that.”

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@rhunyee_calaabarkitchen said, “This is the truth though. My dad has bullied us all our lives, starting from threatening not to send us to school if we don’t attend deeper life with him, to basically making us do his will cos his power lies in his money. I cant go to my parents and discuss my personal issues, never told them I love them, that closeness just isn’t there. Can’t even comfortably watch TV when he’s around; I envy some children who are close knit with their parents. We really need to do better with our children in this generation, our parents tried their best but its all up to us now.”

Gbemi had tweeted,

Our generation has a lot of work to do . We need to understand that being a good wife /Mom goes beyond cooking great meals and having a low body count . Being a good husband /Dad doesn’t just stop at being able to provide . There’s so much more ….

Let’s say your father was a great provider – He paid for EVERYTHING – it still doesn’t make him a great father . What if he used his money to bully you, your siblings or your mom into doing the things that HE WANTED?

SEE ALSO: What Stella Damasus Once Went Through In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Or let’s say your mom was the best cook EVER! From Naija to continental dishes – she was the best ! But she was emotionally abusive to you/ your siblings and made you feel worthless with her words? Being a great cook does not a great mother make .

That’s what I meant by being a great provider / great cook isn’t enough .

 

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