Many men take up the responsibility to provide. In fact, there are men who would feel insulted if you offered to foot a bill when they are around you. In many relationships, men are expected to foot their partner’s bill and it almost seem unheard of for a man to say he is broke.
A twitter user, Monisola has a problem with this school of thought and thinks its high time to strike it out. According to her, ‘broke shaming’ a guy should be done away with, just like the validity of womanhood shouldn’t be evaluated based on her domestic prowess.
I’m sick of broke shaming. It is obnoxious and cruel. To expect a man to be financially buoyant simply because he’s a man is just as offensive as expecting a woman to cook and clean simply because she’s a woman. Not every man has deep pockets.
If we’re kicking against patriarchal norms then we can’t *expect* men to be rich because they’re men, especially if you as a woman don’t even have your own money! That’s a disgraceful double standard.
If you don’t want the validity of your womanhood to be evaluated based on your domestic prowess, then stop devaluing men for being “broke”. Everyone is on their personal journey. He’ll get there when he gets there.
If you don’t want to date a man without money, fine, you have every right to make that choice. But don’t shame him for his financial status. That is cruel. Money does not grow on trees.
I even see women shaming men for being in the exact same financial position as them and honestly I’m embarrassed. Don’t be hungry please.
So if men don’t play their part in fighting patriarchy, you’ll equally refuse to play your own part by continuing to uphold its tenet of valuing a man by his pockets?
With every other patriarchal issue, women have set the tone and led by example. We didn’t wait for permission to have a life outside of the kitchen. We simply got up and did. Men caught up.
We didn’t wait for men to tell us we could add value and take up prominent roles in society, in politics and at work. We showed up and took our space. They caught up.
Suddenly when it’s time to reverse valuing men by their pockets we run out of steam? Now it’s “well men created the system, so it’s not up to me”?
You didn’t have that attitude with being banished to the kitchen because you knew it was not in your interest. It didn’t matter who created the system then. It had to go because it didn’t work for you. Where’s that energy with broke shaming now?
“Men started the patriarchy so let them deal with the consequences.” Are you dismantling the patriarchy or not? I’m confused. If you’re tearing something down, everything has to go. Stop cherry picking.
If men lack the self-awareness to realise that patriarchy bites THEM in the ass, don’t mirror them. Don’t wait for them to come round. Just do what you know is necessary & keep it moving. They’ll catch up. That has always been our MO. I can’t understand this sudden retreating.
Listen, valuing men by their pockets can’t stay. Even if it weren’t a patriarchal tenet, it simply isn’t right. If the patriarchy were to die tomorrow, it would die with it. Who cares who starts the process of killing something that HAS to die?
How long are you going to sit around waiting for someone else to do the right thing? How is it not counterproductive to keep this one tenet of patriarchy alive because it doesn’t affect you? I thought this was a complete overhaul of societal norms? Did you think it wasn’t going to be ugly at some point?
Can’t believe there’s so much pushback to the simple idea that we shouldn’t shame men for not having money. Gosh.
You want to die on the hill of mocking broke men? If that’s fine by you, that’s fine by you. I can’t force you to be balanced.