She’s been in the movie industry for over 13 years, married to a white British man and blessed with two lovely children. In a chat with Motherhood in-style Magazine, Ufuoma Mcdermott shares how she met her husband and how they’ve been faring despite cultural differences.
I was in a series which was at one time sponsored by a certain brand. A friend of Steve, Michael Archer was the creative director in charge of that brand and after the shoot, he and I got together and became friends. Several times I went to the beach with him (by the way I hate the beach) and on this particular day, I met Steve and we started a friendship which evolved into marriage, two and a half years later. We’ve been married for a little over seven years.
in all honesty I didn’t think Steve and I could be more than just friends, there were just many things that didn’t add up and it wasn’t cultural. There were just things that we didn’t share and many things that were not same for us. A few things that I found we had in common was production as he’s an advertising practitioner. I realized he was very passionate about his work and I was also passionate about production. As little as those similarities were, we could talk about a movie into forever. My husband is an intellectual so he is not only talking about how entertaining the movie is, rather he is talking about shots, direction and the commercial value of the film.
This was a mutual ground that we were both comfortable with and at every point in time we just found ourselves growing closer. I don’t know if there was a certain time I thought ‘oh this is the person’ but I think we just eased into it because we were friends for such a long time.
On the cultural differences
It was calling my older family members ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’; ‘aunty’ or ‘uncle.’ It didn’t matter if we were related. I needed to put him in that space. When I first met with his mom and she said call me Jane, I’m like, hell no, that’s not going to happen.
You know it was a bit uncomfortable for her every time I come and say, “hi mom.” She resisted but on my own part, I had to insist that. It wasn’t okay with me to call her by her first name and it was the same for my folks as well. He had to get comfortable calling my folks ‘mummy and daddy’. And then he will call my uncle by his name and I’ll just say, don’t do that. This was the person who gave me away; you can call him uncle Edore or Chief.